This Moment Is NOT A Means To An End… How To Embrace It

A Means To An End

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What is the true purpose of what I’m doing today? This is a thought provoking question that helps me see how limited my view of things in the long term really is. It helps me to think about what I’m doing in my life that matters and understand how little of it I can be aware of in the short term.

What do I mean by this? What is the true purpose of even doing this post right now? What is the reason for doing it? I know I’m doing it because it feels like the right thing to do. I do it because thousands of people have given such kind feedback on the blog posts I’ve made in the past. I don’t know the long term purpose of doing this post though. I don’t know what this post is going to accomplish in the next 5 – 10 years.

When I say about what is the true purpose? I mean in a sense we often think about long term. We think we know why we’re doing something that we say I’m doing this because it will lead to other things. For me, it helps to see what I really know about what it will lead to. For example, many of the best things in my life I had no idea at the time they would turn into that. For example with going out with my wife. I’d been out on a lot of first dates before, I didn’t realize that was the date that was going to lead to marriage and a child. I had no idea. Yet, how much of my time dating did I focus on getting to the marriage and a child part?

It’s absurd to think that that was almost all I was concerned with and I would get frustrated if that didn’t look like it was going to work out. You can see how little you know about the true purpose of what you’re doing. Once you see how little it is then there’s a great peace that comes from operating on that little piece you do know. I realize I don’t know what’s going to happen out of doing this post. That’s okay.

I don’t need to know immediately what’s going to happen out of doing this post. In fact, I don’t ever need to know what comes out of doing this. If this helps you today in your life, that’s good. I’d love to know about it, but it’s not essential to what I’m doing. I’m doing this because it feels like the right thing to do right now. This is for me to do and I’m honored to have the chance to do it. That encourages me to work with these things in mind and realize that I don’t know the long term purpose of this post.  I haven’t figured out the long term of most of the things I’ve done in my life.

If 7-month-old daughter thought how a lot of us thought, life would seem overwhelming. If she thought she would start crawling today and then maybe she could walk. Then once she could walk and then one day she’ll be able to have a husband and family. Then they can have a nice funeral for me.

If she thought like that, there would be no joy in anything she was doing today. She would see how far away she is from that. She can’t even crawl yet. It would be hopeless to try to look at the what she was doing today and the long term outlook on it. How do my attempts to crawl today play into what kind of funeral I’m going to have?

You might not have accomplished most of the things yet that you’re going to accomplish in your life. There’s so many great places to go, it’s hard to see how all of these are going to work out.

Once you see you’re more than a body, then you’ll see what do my actions today mean for my karma for eternity. Then you can see the insanity of trying to figure that out. Think about how crazy it would be for my daughter see how her crawling attempts go into what kind of grandma she might be. You can see how crazy it is to act like you know what the long term effects are out of what you’re doing today.

I’m grateful that I recognize the limitations I have. This helps me to do more good work when I see I don’t know exactly what’s going to come out of doing this. I’m willing to put my heart into it without conditioning what comes of it on me doing it. For example, I wasn’t willing to put my heart into much when it came to things like dating. If I didn’t think it was going anywhere I didn’t even want to bother with it.

It all worked out pretty well from today’s point of view, but if that’s all you can see is how it worked out then there’s not much to live for. I can tell you how it works out because the body you’re in now will end up dead. That’s how it works out and that’s all there is to do. That seems pretty depressing doesn’t it? Well no matter what I’m doing to do, everyone will forget about me one day. I’ll just be another dead body that everyone’s forgotten about.

You can’t see the true purpose of doing everything in advance. All you can see is the chance to do it today and how you feel about doing it today. I feel great about doing this video with you. I think it’s awesome I can sit here and play some Call of Duty Black Opps 3 Zombies today with you here and talk about what I’ve learned in my life, I think that’s awesome. What I’ve learned today is that life is good when I focus on just doing my best with what I’ve got and that’s it. That’s enough and I don’t have to have some grandiose scheme for it to all be worth it.

I don’t have to say I’m not doing these videos if I’m not making a certain amount of money and that’s simple. If you’re always expecting an outcome out of what you want, life if pretty unsatisfying. If you’re expecting every date to lead to getting married, that is incredibly unsatisfying.

I’ve tried and failed so many things in my business before I ended up doing jerrybanfield.com. If I hadn’t tried and failed at all those things, then I would’ve never had the chance to be here with you today. I tried selling t-shirts. I tried making dating videos because I care about dating as a subject. I’m grateful for all of you that have told me what you’re going through in life and what you’re having a hard time with. I’m grateful that you find my videos helpful.

I try to do the best with what I’ve got. I have a great amount of peace today. If I do the best with what I have, then only God can judge me. If I do the best with what I know how to do, then it doesn’t matter if a few people aren’t happy with it. I’m okay with that. Most importantly, I’m happy with the person I have to spend all day with and that’s me. All day in this head is me here. That’s the main thing I need to be good with.

Do I feel okay with how I’m acting today?
Do I feel good about what I’m doing today?

When you see that you don’t know the long term purpose of what you’re doing, it removes the means to an end part of life. The body will die and fade away. You might think that’s depressing, but that’s the end of this body. That’s the end of all you can hope to do with all the material things of this world. The real things worth working for are things beyond this world and things that can’t be seen. Things you’ve been  working on forever, those are the things worth doing and looking at right now. Then you don’t do things that suck right now as a means to an end. You won’t do that. You won’t tolerate doing a job you hate as a means to an end when there is not an end that’s worth getting.

If you look at it as though one day you’ll get to die and  be a grandpa, you’re not going to sit at a dead end job. When I started teaching online, I was broke and getting close to bankruptcy. I was in debt. I was scared. Yet, I knew that was the right thing to do. I know this is the right thing to do in this moment. Whatever you’re doing at this moment is the right thing for you to do at this moment.

When you see that you’ve got that flexibility you don’t have to keep doing something you hate doing. If you need to relieve a relationship, then that’s the right thing to do. If you didn’t plan on it but you could see you’re not happy and you need to go then that’s okay, too.

I pray today to remember that I don’t know the long term purpose of what I’m doing. I don’t see the end of this and that includes doing this video. I pray that in knowing this, I can see what the right thing for me to do right this moment is because that’s all I need to know. I pray that in sharing this with you, you have the chance today to have the peace and serenity I have in my life. I pray that you have the life you’ve worked so hard for start right now. Thank you for reading this. I hope you have a great day today.