The stories I tell about my past problems are more hurtful than what other people do to me. I hope this will be helpful for you in seeing if any of these things are going on in your life.
For example, Google Adwords suspended my account back in 2012. I was just getting started in making profitable ads on Google. It was painful to see the email saying my account was suspended. That’s what Google did to me.
Where was the real pain?
The real pain was in the bitter resentment I chose to feel about it for years after that. Google had done this wrong to me. Google was an awful company for being so heartless with it’s advertisers. The real pain was the judgment I passed on myself for getting that account suspended in the first place. 99% of the pain from having my Adwords account suspended was how I felt about myself. The real pain is not whatever happened, it’s how we react to it.
How many times have I went through someone doing something to me that may be hurt at the time? Once, I got slapped in the face by a kid because I threw his basketball across the gym. I was plotting against that kid for at least a year after that. I was thinking about how I could get him back. I thought about what I would’ve done if he wasn’t with his two friends. That was the majority of the pain.
The slap only occurred for a brief moment in time. The sting on my face lasted another couple of minutes. It wasn’t that bad. The way I felt about it lasted a long time. How I felt about it lasted at least a year.
The more resentment I had in my life, the easier it was to build new ones. Every time someone else did something similar to me, that original sin was still there. Every time I thought about getting in a bad situation with someone, that slap came back into my mind. It’s still in my mind today as something I remember. The only way out of that today is through forgiveness.
Now, I understand that it was okay that I got slapped. It was okay that I threw that kids basketball across the gym. Forgiving myself is the main part of letting go of the situation. It didn’t hurt as much that I got slapped because that was something someone else did. It hurt more that I decided to bow up in front of that kid and his two friends and throw his basketball. I had done something nasty first and I received a nasty response to my original nasty action.
I’m surprised that it’s not the other people I’m mad about, it’s what I did that bothers me. Usually, I have to forgive what I did in this situation because I can’t control what other people do. It’s easy for me to forgive someone else. I have the hardest time with forgiving myself and being honest with myself.
I have to understand that I did it in a bit of a misguided way. I have to then accept that it’s okay what I did and it’s okay what happens to me. There’s nothing wrong today. There’s nothing that needs to be done. We must have unconditional love and acceptance for how life is today. With that we can take that chance to learn and not make the same kind of mistake again.
I’m grateful to have learned this after so many more times reincarnating the exact same thing. You don’t have to wonder whether things like reincarnation is real or not. When you look around, you can see how one little thing that happens often gets reincarnated. I’m grateful today to have this lesson to share with you, I hope it’s useful for you today.
I pray today to forgive as soon as possible what anyone has done to me or any situation where I’m the victim. I pray to forgive myself for whatever I did to put myself in the position to be the victim. I know forgiving myself is much more important than whatever happened to me next. I pray that you have the opportunity to forgive yourself for the sins you committed and the faults you have. I pray that you can forgive everyone else for reminding you of the things you don’t like about yourself.
Thank you for reading this. I’m honored you’ve spent this time with me. I hope you have a great day today.
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