Accepting Criticism Gracefully: How To Take Advice

What if everyone else is right?

This is something that I consistently consider to help me know what to do and to help me know myself better. This helps me accept and understand other people as they are. I am focusing on when people are saying things to you that you don’t believe. This has happened to me a lot in my life where people have said things about me that I didn’t think were true. They said I should do things that I thought were bad advice. Sometimes people described me in a way that I thought couldn’t be true at all.

For example, I had a girl I was dating before and when we broke up she screamed at me saying I needed to quit drinking. I knew it was right deep down, but I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want anyone to tell me what I should do. I didn’t think on the surface that was right. My dad used to say Jerry, you abuse alcohol. I had tons of people tell me I drank too much and I should drink a little less. I got the same message over and over again and I said I’m right and everyone else is wrong.

I got the same message about other things too. Jerry, you’re selfish. You should think of other people more often. Jerry, your head’s pretty messed up, you should figure out how to get some help. Jerry, you should figure out how to do more service work. You should figure out how to get more friends or be a bigger part of the community. You should stop gaming so much. You should try to be a better person.

I didn’t want to hear any of those things, they made me mad. I would try to defend myself and say no, you’re wrong. You don’t know about my life. You don’t know why I drink. You don’t know why I think about myself all the time. You don’t know why I don’t have time to do anything else. You don’t know why I’m broke right now. You don’t know how much fun it is to gamble. You don’t know why I can’t date anyone. I led with the assumption that what the other person said was wrong and what I thought was right. Even if deep down I knew some of it could be true, it was rejected if it didn’t agree with my opinion of myself.

Jerry is a super person who can do anything of course he can drink, he can gamble, date, work, he can do anything. Jerry can do everything. How dare you suggest that Jerry can’t do everything because deep down Jerry is pretty sure he can’t do enough. I would get frustrated when someone would get deep down because deep down I felt like I was not enough.

If you look around today it seems that a lot of other people are feeling like not enough too. My wife and I go to the mall and we look around at the things available. You would think the opposite of not having enough is having too much, but the opposite is having enough. When you look around and see all the things today. There’s so many more things than anyone could possibly need. The outward reality we’ve created reflects an inner reality of feeling like not enough. We have to keep building things all the time. We have to build new restaurants because the 200 restaurants near me are not enough. I  need someone else to come in and build a restaurant because we need that 201st restaurant. Maybe that one will be enough. That was at the core of me not wanting to accept any one else’s advice

When I feel like that I as myself what if other people are right. In fact, today I try to see how other people are right. Today I got some conflicting comments that all can peacefully co-exist. I have a lot of people that say I’m a crappy Call of Duty gamer and ask how did I get sponsored.  I’m not sponsored by anyone else, I’m sponsored by myself. Do you get these videos up? I can make better videos than you!

They’re all right. From your point of view and from lots of points of view, I am a crappy gamer. There are a lot of people who are better at Call of Duty than me. There are allot of people that deserve to have their videos promoted more than I do. There are a lot of people that could make better videos. There’s a lot of truth to the things people say.

Yet, the opposite is also true. People come through and say Jerry, you’re a great gamer, how do I get to play like you. That’s true too. It helps me to see both sides of the reality today. I’m a crappy gamer and I’m a great gamer at the same time because neither of those are the whole truth. They are a small part of the whole truth. In that sense everything is true and it’s a part of one complete truth. That allows me today to do better accepting advice.

When someone says Jerry, you might want to see a counselor and talk about some of your problems, I can say okay, that is worth thinking about. I’m willing to take steps to see if that’s worthwhile I’m willing to consider that. I’m willing to take that seriously. People say Jerry you should get some help with this aspect of your business. Jerry you should make videos that are Call of Duty and not League of Legends. I’m willing to consider that and say okay, I’ll do things a little differently. I’m open to trying things a little different.

My wife says when I make the videos while playing zombies I look distracted. I prefer the videos where you are not so distracted. I’m willing to think about it because that is one method of truth that is worth it in the whole. I made this video with her feedback in mind and that’s just what I’m doing right here. I’m not trying to slaughter zombies at the same time. This is set on the background of a gaming video because enough people told me that my talking head on a red curtain sucked. They’re boring. They loved what I had to say, but wanted something more interesting on the screen.

I could’ve said I’m right you’re wrong! You’re an idiot of course you like watching my face or maybe you’re just not the right person. I’m sure someone else loves watching my face. If I said that, then I wouldn’t have ever thought maybe that’s true. I would not have given the gaming videos like this new format a try.

I’m open to your continued feedback today because I want to know what everyone else’s truth is. That way, I have the chance to be one with the collection of all truths.  When I’m one with all truths, accepting of everyone’s truth, and accepting of my truth, then I’m peaceful. I have a good life and when I’m struggling, I can get help with it. It helps me to accept when I have friends and family members who ask me for advice and I give them advice and they don’t do it. I understand that I ask for advice a lot in my life. I must’ve asked my dad hundreds of times about not drinking because  he was an alcoholic and he quit when he was 40. I must’ve asked him 100 times and I didn’t take his advice consistently. I would take his advice one day and then the next day I would be drunk again.

I did the same thing with being selfish. Lots of people said I should be nice to other people. I would try that for 10 minutes and then I would give up on it. Forget thinking about other people. They are all selfish and don’t deserve their time and effort.

Now, I think a lot about other people because they make life interesting and enjoyable. This is a pretty boring existence to think about yourself all the time because there’s not that much to me. I’m just another human being on the planet trying to be useful. It seems like a big challenge to ask the question, what if other people are right? Yet, there’s a huge reward just for considering what if other people are right.

Today I pray to consider everyone else’s point of view I come across. I pray to realize on some deep level that it is a truth that has been given to me by the universe to help me with what I’m doing. I pray today to ask the question what if everyone else is right. I pray to be open to changing whatever I’m doing based on what is suggested to me. At the same time, it doesn’t mean I take every little suggestion. It means I at least consider it and think about it. I pray that you have the same change today to ask the question what if everyone else is right about me and what are they planning to tell me. What are they trying to help me with today and how can I benefit from it. I’m honored you’ve spent this time with me. I share these videos with the hope that I can motivate you to help yourself. I hope you have a great day today.