Escape the Annoying Person Trap!

Escape the Annoying Person Trap!

How do we escape the annoying person trap? I will give you an example. I was going to walk out of an AA meeting the other night, and this guy comes up to talk to me. He is always excited to see me, always wants to talk to me and I feel like, “Oh, not this guy again.”

Escape the Annoying Person Trap!

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I was trying to talk to someone else and he comes up, and therefore, it is like either I try to dismiss him somehow and be rude, or talk to him.

So, I manage on this particular occasion to kind of dismiss him, like, “Come on, I got someone else I want to go talk to.”

I get to talk to the other person and suddenly I’m on the receiving end to what I just did. I’m the annoying person that they feel like, “Oh, God, he wants to talk to me again. It’s him.”

Escape the Annoying Person Trap!

And then, I see what I just did.

I thought, “Oh, my God. He is really excited and wanting to talk to me and I’m not interested in talking to him because I want to go talk to someone else.”

Then, I get to talk to them and the same thing on the other end and I realize, why did I do that?

Why did I just blow him off, then want to go talk to someone else, and then they blow me off and I get annoyed?

I said, “Hold up. Wait a minute. This is dumb right now. Why am I here? Especially in an AA meeting. Why am I here to start with?”

“I’m here to help people and that doesn’t mean I’m there to help specific people.”

Of course, my mind and my ego like to prioritize helping certain people over others, like “Let’s help the attractive young people first, and then we can help the really rough ones, you know, if there is any time left.”

I’m grateful today I see that the secret to escaping the annoying person trap is to realize those that are most excited and enthusiastic to help us and get to know us, and want to talk to us, that is often our best opportunity to help someone.

We are often not in a very good position to help someone who is not interested in hearing us talk.

In other words, if we want to escape the annoying person trap, it’s a mindset change, to see the people that essentially God or the universe or life has put in front of us.

These are not annoying people.

These are the exact right people we need to help us get what we want.

These are the people we have been praying for.

Escape the Annoying Person Trap!

This first thing I’m talking about happened like a week ago. During the next week, I’ve been seeing this guy at the AA meetings, and I’ve escaped that mindset.

When he comes up to talk to me and that initial thought comes up that says, “Oh, not him again,” now I immediately override that and I think, “Ah, here is exactly the person I’m hoping to talk to. This guy is really enthusiastic. He wants to talk to me, therefore, this is the person I am most suited to help right now.”

I know if I go talk to someone right after an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I’m really excited to get to talk to them and that’s the best opportunity to connect with me and help me.

Therefore, let me not pass up those opportunities, and with this mindset, suddenly the annoying person is transformed into a divine blessing from God. He is just the right person for just the right moment and just the right time to help me help myself, to help me help others, to help me feel good.

It’s when we think we know exactly how things ought to be, then everyone around us that’s not fitting into our little way of thinking how things should be, becomes annoying.

Therefore, if you want to be free of annoying people, realize the people in front of you are just like you.

They are not annoying, and catch yourself on the other end of the annoying person trap.

Escape the Annoying Person Trap!

Catch yourself being the annoying person and realize the solution is to love, embrace and accept the person who is put in front of you that you would be annoyed with, if you were not tired of being in that annoying person trap anymore.

Thank you for watching or listening to this.

I love you.

You are awesome.

I hope it’s helpful the next time you run into that annoying person, to flip the switch on it, to realize, “Nope. I refuse to be annoyed by this person. This person is here to be loved, to be helped and I’m very grateful for that opportunity today.”

I guess I will be talking to him at my next AA meeting.


Jerry Banfield

Edits from video transcript by Michel Gerard at

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