Why is asking for the help I need so difficult?

Would you help me reach 100,000 subscribers on YouTube by using the subscribe button at https://www.youtube.com/c/JerryBanfield?

Why was that so ridiculously difficult?

After making over 1,100 YouTube videos, spending $30,000+ on ads, and trying every sales pitch in the book to get people I barely know to subscribe to my YouTube channel, why did I not start by asking YOU FIRST???

Why is asking for help the last thing I do instead of the first?

My guess is that I try to avoid doing anything that looks weak. Somehow in my mind I have associated asking for help as showing weakness which is the last thing a “man” should do. Refusing to ask for help has very often left me making the same mistakes over and over again while having no idea how to do better.

Take drinking alcohol for example. For 10 years, I struggled to maintain control by trying hard to get the good out of it and avoid the bad. From the beginning, it was obvious that I had a problem to everyone but me. Once I realized I had a problem, I figured I needed to solve it myself. Several of my friends and family members are still working on the same problem alone.

It took me nearly dying a lot of times and seeing the utter hopelessness of my situation alone for me to seek help at one Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Even at the meeting, I did not want any help because I figured just going to the meeting was close enough to asking for and receiving help. After several more months of struggling to just go to meetings and not drink, I finally got so desperate one day that I raised my hand at the beginning of a meeting and asked for help.

Over two years later now, I still seek help staying sober on a daily basis at AA meetings and am finally learning to ask for help in other areas before the situation is completely hopeless. It was very humbling to ask another man for help learning how to be a good husband. I asked a personal trainer day after day how to work out more effectively. Once each week, I ask for help getting my body to relax in the form of a massage.

Why then in my business do I continue to seek to impress people I do not know and hesitate to ask for the help I need from the people that love me?

Fortunately I recently got very desperate about my business after looking at my $274,000 in debt and $5,900 in profit in September which after taxes, debt payments, and health insurance is a final number of minus several thousand dollars. At the same time, I discovered a new book on Audible called “The Art of Asking” by Amanda Palmer which has given me the exact help I needed. While I felt uncomfortable asking any person for help, I felt very comfortable reading books and buying products for help.

What I learned reading the book is that if you need something, the most effective FIRST RESPONSE is to ASK FOR HELP from those CLOSEST or those MOST LIKELY TO HELP! This means when I need more money for my business, I ask my customers for help with that and then become open to suggestions as well as rejections. On Wednesday I did this in a video on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5DJ-beW0-8 showing my latest income report and asking for whatever help the viewer will provide along with a few suggestions on what I see would be helpful.

I felt very depressed and ashamed after making that video because that is what my mind warned me I would feel. The feeling was one of deflation like a popped balloon stuffed with hot air about how great I am as an internet marketing guy. As you can see, going through this did not kill me but in fact made me stronger. I am still here today and now I just received another big breakthrough as you might be able to see at the beginning of this email.

One of my main assets for my business is my YouTube channel. After reading the beginning of “The Art of Asking” and doing the video asking for help with my business, I just realized that I needed to start asking my YouTube viewers and everyone else that has a relationship with me to subscribe on YouTube because YouTube subscribers are the most valuable follower I have on social media. One game streamer I have followed for years named NoahJ456 has 2.5 million subscribers on YouTube. For years, I have been trying to figure out what he does differently from other YouTubers. Initially I saw it and criticized it. Now, I am doing it!

What did NoahJ456 do to get 2.5 million YouTube subscribers? He specifically says “Help me reach 3,000,000 subscribers” on every video he does and he has been doing that for a long time! In other words, he asks for help and in exchange continually tries to create the videos his subscribers want. While I have been working really hard to hustle for my first 100,000 subscribers and refused until now to ask for help, now I am asking for help everywhere I can find a spot to post it. I will let you know how the results go and I am guessing the increase will be significant.

What I hope this email does is gives you courage today to drop any resistance to ask for the help you need. In being vulnerable and asking for the help you need outright, you then are forced to face what might be a huge fear: rejection. You might be really excited reading this email from me and send me an email asking for some type of partnership. You might then receive a response explaining that I am not interested in that partnership at this time with a suggestion to keep asking people that might be.

I think I hesitate to ask for help and ask for what I need because I am afraid of getting rejected. My one year old daughter has not learned this yet and asks for what she needs all day every day. If I say no, she either moves on or asks again with more force. She relentlessly asks for what she needs and she consistently gets it. She is happy, joyous, and free for the majority of her waking hours. She has everything many people hope to accomplish in their lifetime and also what you have available right now when you join me in asking for and receiving the help you need!

Would you try watching the first minute of one of these new videos I made for you on YouTube OR tell me what topics you would like new videos on?

  1. Why I Use Skillshare to Teach All My New Video Courses Online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeWNozPjX_Y
  2. Where to Get Course Updates and New Video Classes by Me, Jerry Banfield at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7_msj081Wc.
  3. Would you help me make more videos for you? Income Report September 2016 at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5DJ-beW0-8.
  4. The Workflow I Use to Make 2,675 Videos and 69 Products Online in 2 Years at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QKMtD4xX88.

Would you visit one of these updated pages or tell me what you would like to see here instead?

  1. Help me reach 3,000 followers on Skillshare and get answers to your questions at https://www.skillshare.com/r/jerrybanfield.
  2. If you would like to game with me, help me see that I should add you as a friend and play with you at https://jerrybanfield.com/friends/.
  3. See how I use YouTube advertising to get a lot of very valuable organic traffic in this new blog post at https://jerrybanfield.com/youtube-advertising/.

I appreciate you reading this and hope you have a great day!

Jerry Banfield

PS: Help me reach 6,000 subscribers on my MailChimp email list by completing the form below!