Inspirational

The inspirational posts in this category will help you to be successful, happy, and feel uplifted after reading them!

Bare Biographies

Bare Biographies

Bare biographies. This is my latest and greatest big idea. Imagine this, having someone who shares the best most interesting worthwhile intimate parts of their life and do it all while revealing everything. …

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Why is asking for the help I need so difficult?

Would you help me reach 100,000 subscribers on YouTube by using the subscribe button at https://www.youtube.com/c/JerryBanfield?

Why was that so ridiculously difficult?

After making over 1,100 YouTube videos, spending $30,000+ on ads, and trying every sales pitch in the book to get people I barely know to subscribe to my YouTube channel, why did I not start by asking YOU FIRST???

Why is asking for help the last thing I do instead of the first?

My guess is that I try to avoid doing anything that looks weak. Somehow in my mind I have associated asking for help as showing weakness which is the last thing a “man” should do. Refusing to ask for help has very often left me making the same mistakes over and over again while having no idea how to do better.

Take drinking alcohol for example. For 10 years, I struggled to maintain control by trying hard to get the good out of it and avoid the bad. From the beginning, it was obvious that I had a problem to everyone but me. Once I realized I had a problem, I figured I needed to solve it myself. Several of my friends and family members are still working on the same problem alone.

It took me nearly dying a lot of times and seeing the utter hopelessness of my situation alone for me to seek help at one Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Even at the meeting, I did not want any help because I figured just going to the meeting was close enough to asking for and receiving help. After several more months of struggling to just go to meetings and not drink, I finally got so desperate one day that I raised my hand at the beginning of a meeting and asked for help.

Over two years later now, I still seek help staying sober on a daily basis at AA meetings and am finally learning to ask for help in other areas before the situation is completely hopeless. It was very humbling to ask another man for help learning how to be a good husband. I asked a personal trainer day after day how to work out more effectively. Once each week, I ask for help getting my body to relax in the form of a massage.

Why then in my business do I continue to seek to impress people I do not know and hesitate to ask for the help I need from the people that love me?

Fortunately I recently got very desperate about my business after looking at my $274,000 in debt and $5,900 in profit in September which after taxes, debt payments, and health insurance is a final number of minus several thousand dollars. At the same time, I discovered a new book on Audible called “The Art of Asking” by Amanda Palmer which has given me the exact help I needed. While I felt uncomfortable asking any person for help, I felt very comfortable reading books and buying products for help.

What I learned reading the book is that if you need something, the most effective FIRST RESPONSE is to ASK FOR HELP from those CLOSEST or those MOST LIKELY TO HELP! This means when I need more money for my business, I ask my customers for help with that and then become open to suggestions as well as rejections. On Wednesday I did this in a video on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5DJ-beW0-8 showing my latest income report and asking for whatever help the viewer will provide along with a few suggestions on what I see would be helpful.

I felt very depressed and ashamed after making that video because that is what my mind warned me I would feel. The feeling was one of deflation like a popped balloon stuffed with hot air about how great I am as an internet marketing guy. As you can see, going through this did not kill me but in fact made me stronger. I am still here today and now I just received another big breakthrough as you might be able to see at the beginning of this email.

One of my main assets for my business is my YouTube channel. After reading the beginning of “The Art of Asking” and doing the video asking for help with my business, I just realized that I needed to start asking my YouTube viewers and everyone else that has a relationship with me to subscribe on YouTube because YouTube subscribers are the most valuable follower I have on social media. One game streamer I have followed for years named NoahJ456 has 2.5 million subscribers on YouTube. For years, I have been trying to figure out what he does differently from other YouTubers. Initially I saw it and criticized it. Now, I am doing it!

What did NoahJ456 do to get 2.5 million YouTube subscribers? He specifically says “Help me reach 3,000,000 subscribers” on every video he does and he has been doing that for a long time! In other words, he asks for help and in exchange continually tries to create the videos his subscribers want. While I have been working really hard to hustle for my first 100,000 subscribers and refused until now to ask for help, now I am asking for help everywhere I can find a spot to post it. I will let you know how the results go and I am guessing the increase will be significant.

What I hope this email does is gives you courage today to drop any resistance to ask for the help you need. In being vulnerable and asking for the help you need outright, you then are forced to face what might be a huge fear: rejection. You might be really excited reading this email from me and send me an email asking for some type of partnership. You might then receive a response explaining that I am not interested in that partnership at this time with a suggestion to keep asking people that might be.

I think I hesitate to ask for help and ask for what I need because I am afraid of getting rejected. My one year old daughter has not learned this yet and asks for what she needs all day every day. If I say no, she either moves on or asks again with more force. She relentlessly asks for what she needs and she consistently gets it. She is happy, joyous, and free for the majority of her waking hours. She has everything many people hope to accomplish in their lifetime and also what you have available right now when you join me in asking for and receiving the help you need!

Would you try watching the first minute of one of these new videos I made for you on YouTube OR tell me what topics you would like new videos on?

  1. Why I Use Skillshare to Teach All My New Video Courses Online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeWNozPjX_Y
  2. Where to Get Course Updates and New Video Classes by Me, Jerry Banfield at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7_msj081Wc.
  3. Would you help me make more videos for you? Income Report September 2016 at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5DJ-beW0-8.
  4. The Workflow I Use to Make 2,675 Videos and 69 Products Online in 2 Years at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QKMtD4xX88.

Would you visit one of these updated pages or tell me what you would like to see here instead?

  1. Help me reach 3,000 followers on Skillshare and get answers to your questions at https://www.skillshare.com/r/jerrybanfield.
  2. If you would like to game with me, help me see that I should add you as a friend and play with you at https://jerrybanfield.com/friends/.
  3. See how I use YouTube advertising to get a lot of very valuable organic traffic in this new blog post at https://jerrybanfield.com/youtube-advertising/.

I appreciate you reading this and hope you have a great day!

Sincerely,
Jerry Banfield

PS: Help me reach 6,000 subscribers on my MailChimp email list by completing the form below!

Love and self respect are found in limits!

This is the most recent email I sent to my email list!  Join my email list to receive these each week!

A frequent pain point of learning for me comes from trying to do more than I am designed to do leading to feelings of being overwhelmed at the least and much more at the worst.  For me, this consistently happens in the following way and might happen for you in a similar way:

Were you ever sure you would arrive on time to an appointment only to somehow end up running late to it?
Have you then sworn you would definitely be on time at the next opportunity only to repeat being late again?
Can you remember a time where you faced very painful consequences for pushing your limits, such as drinking or eating too much, and said you would never do it again only to end up doing the same thing later and wondering how it happened again?

When I try to push my limits too much, I am causing more pain in my life by not respecting the limitations of this form.  While testing boundaries occasionally is a good idea to verify they are there, repeatedly running headfirst into the same problem hoping for a different result is insane.  Showing up late at the same meeting day after day and saying each day that the next will be different is crazy.  So why does it happen to start with?

The only reason I can see is that I do not know any other way to live.  Having a choice implies seeing two or more options and choosing one.  If I keep doing the same thing almost seemingly against my will, I must not know or be able to choose another way.

What does the other way to live look like?  It looks like love and self respect founded in an understanding and acceptance of my current limitations.  This is easy in some areas of my life such as driving.  I understand there are consequences for choosing to drive over the speed limit and now, after facing those consequences many times, I choose to drive the speed limit.

Why did it take being stopped by police so many times and being afraid thousands of times of getting a ticket before I simply accepted the speed limit and gave up the fight against the speed limit?  I can only guess that it is because a part of me likes to pretend I am free of limitations and special because of my unique ability to exceed the limits.  Being special often equals feeling different and feeling like something is wrong with me.

A simple system of accepting my limits in life helps me to feel like I am not special and that there is nothing wrong with me.  Now when I drive by the speed limit, I have no fear of being stopped because now I am doing my best to respect the limitations placed on my driving.

In other areas of life, limitations are not so obvious especially when it is up to me to self-regulate.  Going to bed at the right time, stopping work after I have done enough, and arriving on time to meetings have been very difficult for me on many days because it is up to me to define the speed limit for my life based on what I see.

Stress related illnesses ranging from physical symptoms to the things we do to relieve stress that are unhealthy combine to be one of the top causes of death at all ages.  Maybe it is because many of us were never trained on how to lovingly observe our own limitations and set limits comfortably within what we are able to do?

How is it possible in my life one of the most difficult things for me to do is stop work a few minutes early?  Where did I get the idea that I need to squeeze every bit of productivity out of this body until it absolutely cannot take it anymore?  I am not sure where I did end up thinking this way and I am grateful today I am open to learning a new way of living.

Today I work to stay conscious of my choice to respect my limits or to attempt to push through them.  At 5 pm today I had planned to do 2 more hours of work after already recording a chapter of a book, sending one email before this one and another here now, learning how to use a new website, uploading a podcast episode, editing six chapters of my new book “World History Reloaded,” creating a new page on my website, answering most of my emails, and working with my friend Albert to assist a client.

For context, I have my own business online employing a few people part time.  The last day I took completely off without logging on to do anything was June 7, 2016. I know this because it is the day I moved.  That is nearly 4 months without one complete day off because I try to work a little bit every day instead of working a lot every day.  While this is an incredibly effective system to get more done in less time, even the slightest pushing of my limitations quickly creates a lot of problems.  Learn more about this in my free 4 hour workday course at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCr__DWDQ-I.

Being accountable to you and each other person in my life motivates me to do better in loving and respecting life especially in my personal limits.  Writing this email here to you have given me the courage to choose a different way to live even if it is just for today.  I choose now to give up doing even more work on a day where I have already done enough by respecting and loving the limitations I face in this body.

My hope is that in honestly sharing the challenges in my life, you are able to identify similar ones in your life and then be open to making improvements.  I appreciate you reading this and hope it is useful for you!

Help The Others

[av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=”] Giving and receiving help is the answer! When I was feeling frustrated about the changes in my business last week and struggling to see a way to improve, I …

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How will I reach the next level?

For most of my life, I set high professional goals to accomplish and thought completing those goals would make me happy.  This gave me a degree in a subject I did not enjoy and thousands of dollars in student loan debt with a very low paying job.  To escape my mistakes, I started working online where I made the same mistakes again by setting goals for income and audience size to help me realize when I had made it to the next level.

Every time I would reach a goal, I would feel better for a day or two while I told everyone how great I was because of accomplishing a new level of income or a new amount of likes on Facebook.  Then the fear of not being good enough would come back and there I would be sitting all alone feeling like everything I had done was worth nothing.  This happened when seeing a competitor had more fans than me and after reading an article showing how much money someone else made on the same website as me.

There was no lasting happiness for me until I finally saw the “I will be happy when” trap that comes along with judging where I am as not good enough and hoping I will find salvation in the future through some external achievement such as money, power, or respect.  Now I see that where I am today is good enough which makes finding the next level irrelevant AND automatic when I focus on what good I will do for YOU TODAY.

One question I have received consistently from students and freelancers trying to work online is “How do I reach the next level?”  I hope my experience with this is useful for you to feel at peace with where you are today and to know whatever you hope for in the future will be effortlessly given to you when you do everything you can today to help someone else.  When you look around and find someone you are uniquely qualified to help today, you will both feel all of the joy and you will continue to receive more opportunities to help others.

Thank you very much for reading this today and I hope it is useful for you!

You might enjoy one of my 4 new YouTube videos from last week!

  1. $0.003 Facebook Page Likes https://youtu.be/Gp-L7x0Y26k
  2. 4 Great Google AdWords Tips https://youtu.be/VfuaajueMqU
  3. 360 tour of my home office! https://youtu.be/ud9mJhxtxA4
  4. Online Coaching Business Setup https://youtu.be/WdWGHa2jb28

New Paid IT and Software Course Free

https://jerrybanfield.com/freecourses/

Read my new YouTube book today on Kindle

https://jerrybanfield.com/books/

Get all 38 of my courses for $75

https://jerrybanfield.com/product/all/

 

This was just sent as an email today to all of my subscribers on MailChimp. Join my email list below to start getting these weekly updates via email!

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