Constructive Criticism Helps! How To Make Use Of Negative Feedback

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

What does that mean? How does that work for me in my life today? I’m grateful to be here with you. I’ve been through a lot of things to make me stronger to give me the chance to do this today. I couldn’t have done this – speak from my experience and  help you if I hadn’t been through so many things in my life.

I’m amazed today to see the strength I have in my life. I feel like I have almost infinite patience. I have almost unlimited patience with my daughter more than I’ve ever had in anything in my life. I’ve got that from being impatient a lot of times and recognizing that. Then, I got help with it and asked people all the things they do and then used it to do better myself.

My original title for this video was each person that hates on you also is helping you. I experienced a lot of that today. I looked at my Google Adwords Udemy course that teaches how to do ads on Google. I saw two reviews where people spent what looks like 30 minutes to an hour to write a review. They tried as hard as they could to shred the course and say things that they hoped would hurt my feelings. Then they tried to actively promote someone else’s course on there. It hurt my feelings to see something I spend hours creating shredded to bits like that.

Then I decided to make a change.

When they pointed out several courses they thought were better, I decided to make a course at least as good as those courses. I figured I could at least try. My courses that had gotten the most people saying nasty things on them are also the best courses I have now. When I stated out, I didn’t have a lot of feedback and I thought the course was pretty good. Well enough haters came along to tell me how bad everything was that I was doing. It motivated me to do better, to do more, to look at what I’m doing and ask myself could I do a little bit better?

It’s amazing that the one review I got on my course was painful enough that it pushed me to a shame trigger. I felt that I’m not good enough and I don’t belong. I’m just a bad person who deserves to be punished. Then I noticed that the review contained exact instructions on how to make this course better. It is an outline that someone else gave to me after paying to take my course. They gave me this outline for what to put in my course.

The best course that I’m the primary instructor on has also gotten ripped so many times like that. It now has all kinds of things that people who originally were frustrated didn’t like and shared. It now is a huge course. Every person who tore the course down motivated me to build on it more.

When you look at your life like that, every person who’s tried to tear me down motivates me to try to  build myself up . It takes away some of the things I don’t need. Every person in my life that told me I was bad and stupid  has motivated me to work to become a better person.

It takes a lot to become a better person. It takes an infinite amount of effort  to become a better person in each moment. It’s so much easier to roll on autopilot and do things how you’ve done them before. That’s kind of normal and convenient. It takes a lot of effort to keep looking in and ask what can you do better. Maybe that person’s right. Maybe that person is helping me see what I’m doing wrong. It’s in looking at what I’m not doing well and in losing and screwing things up that I am able to build and do better.

I’m teaching courses on Udemy because I saw someone who shared what they were doing and how much they made. I knew for sure that I can do at least as good as they were doing, if not better. That motivated me to have faith and go forward and  go all in. Most of my life I was unwilling to go all in. Sometimes the haters that go all out and give you a hard time can give you the motivation to go all in on doing the right thing. Then you can try harder to learn and be open to growing to your full potential.

It’s safe in life to not go all in. What I did in life I would not go all in because I was afraid it wouldn’t work out. Then when things didn’t work out I could say to myself that I didn’t put everything I had into it. It’s scary to put everything I have into something because there are no more excuses after that. I put everything into my Udemy teaching I don’t have anything else. When someone rips one of my courses, that was me trying as hard as I could. Yet, they motivate me to continue going farther.

The irony is that you can be peaceful then. When you don’t give everything there’s an underlying frustration all the time. There’s a continuing lack of getting better.

I saw a guy last night and he’s playing the hard core kill-confirmed game mode about 100 more times as I have and he’s still not good at it. I thought how can you play so much without getting better. I realized that you don’t learn from any of your mistakes. You don’t see what other people are doing that you could do better. Or you’re living a life like I did where you drink while you play games. How could you play well if you drink while you’re playing? You couldn’t while you’re playing against sober players who have instant reaction times. You can’t compete with that if you’re sloppy drunk. You can’t compete if you’re poisoning yourself and beating yourself down all the time.

The attacks from everyone else in life often seem like they’re bad. I’ve found that what everyone else shares with me deep down is helpful. The more offended I am at something, the bigger opportunity there is for me to learn there. I’m getting to a place where it’s difficult to offend me, but it’s still possible. Every time I get offended I know that it’s a great learning opportunity there. I laugh when someone sends me a message about how bad a player I am because the data usually contradicts that. Yet, I can see the world that they life in. It’s a world where everyone else must be torn down instead of a world where you build yourself up.

Today, I pray that everything that doesn’t kill me makes me stronger because I know it doesn’t have to make me stronger. Everything I go through can be suffering and misery where I don’t do any better. I pray today that everything that hurts me and offends me helps me. I pray that you have the same opportunities today. I pray that you can see that in everything someone does that you don’t like there’s a specific lesson that you can grow from and build on. It may not be reality today for many people on this planet, but that’s my reality. I share it here with you. I have it because I’ve been given it by others. I keep it by giving it to you today. I hope you have a great day today.