Content Optimization vs Maximization, what do you feel is more important? What if more does not equal better, especially with influence? This is a critical point to internalize because as long as we think more equals better, we’re not only limiting ourselves, but we’re limiting our influence. It’s so easy to look at numbers and say, “Well, he’s got 100,000 subscribers. He’s got two million followers. She’s got this many pins on her new post.” When we keep looking for numbers, we miss the depth of influence.
Content Optimization vs Maximization
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If you look at me online, you might think, “Wow, he’s really influential with millions of followers.” I’m not any more influential than anyone else in the big picture. We are all equally influential. The purpose of this is not to allow us to dominate and be more influential than each other, but allow us to maximize the contribution we each make today. If you look at my wife online, she has very few followers.
At the same time, she has a huge influence on me. She has a huge influence on the relationships she has in our life. In fact, just me being here today, I point to my wife. I don’t think this body would still be on this earth at all if I had not met my wife. She’s had a huge influence on me. She was the exact motivation I needed to start my business because she had such a good job at the time in terms of the money she earned.
Not the work itself, but the money she earned was so good that I was able to fearlessly start my business. I looked at how much she made and I knew she could pay all of our bills for us. When I saw that, I had no fear of failure, which is the main reason businesses not only fail to start but fail to actually stay in business. Just being in business after five years is greatly beating the odds. Only about 20% of businesses or so are still around after five years.
I was able to start my business because I had no fear then of failing. Even to this day as I’ve been through struggles in my business and people asked, “Well, when do you declare bankruptcy,” was a question I got several times or, “When do you quit?” I said, “When I have to.” As long as people keep giving me more money, which I did, I just borrowed more and more money. Through what seemed like a miracle within two years, I paid all the money I borrowed off from my business.
Over $100,000 wiped out in two years with paying very little interest on it. Maybe a few thousand dollars. The idea is when we have the courage to just give our gift without demanding that it be shown in terms of quantity, then we’re able to maximize our influence. We have the chance to influence the people around us. When we see that each of us has an equal influence in the big picture, then we don’t need to demand more followers.
We don’t need to demand more money. In fact, many people who don’t have much money have a huge influence in the world while many people that do have a lot of money have a relatively minor influence in the world. Now, you realize that language makes everything a mess. What I said now directly conflicts what I said before and that’s okay. It all works together. When we realize that we don’t need a lot of followers to make a big difference, when we don’t need huge amounts of money to make a big difference, that empowers us to look around in our lives and say, “Where can I help? Where would my help be most appreciated?” If our influence is only worth the amount of Facebook likes we have, if it’s only worth the amount of dollars we earn on each post, then it’s worth nothing.
If our influence doesn’t allow us to enjoy time with our family, if our influence is not a two-way street where my two-year-old daughter influences me and I influence her, then it’s not worth anything. Influence is about being connected and belonging to the human race. Because when we act from a place of belonging and connection to the human race, then we tend to have massive influence. When we’re among a member of a community, we have influence on that community. When we don’t feel like we fit in or we’re a member of a community, it’s often difficult to have any influence at all on it. The trap of quantity is made from the mindset that our qualitative influence or the influence we make is equal on everyone. That’s not true. You can have one follower online and make a massive difference in their life. I can have a billion followers online and make a tiny difference in their life and our influence can be exactly the same. All of the people who influence us are also influenced. Meaning when you are watching or listening to or reading this here with me, everything I’m saying is a function of everything and everyone else around me. Thomas has had a huge influence on how this course has went. My wife is that an influence on how this course is when even though she doesn’t appear in it anywhere.
Even though I haven’t talked with her a lot about it, many of the things I’m saying are based on conversations I’ve had with her. The fact that I’m even here at all is primarily due to her. Therefore, our influence has a lot of depth as well as the numbers of people we reach. One might argue influencing one person a lot each day can be much more powerful than influencing many people a little bit. When we have a high level of influence on one person, we have a clear focus for our influence. For me, it’s often difficult with millions of followers online to pinpoint anywhere where I do have a significant influence because, which person do I have a significant influence over versus which person is just following me because they enjoy hating on everything I create? Am I influencing people who hate what I create as well as what I love? When we break out of the trap that we have to have quantity, then we open ourselves up to truly maximizing our power, to truly being able to give our gift however it’s needed.
Being a parent and staying at home and raising a child, we can have a huge impact on our child. If we then stick our child in daycare and greatly reduce our influence over our child and then we go to work and try and build followers at work and become a big deal online, I would argue in most cases, we’re actually reducing our influence doing something like that. The people at work are going to tend to be influenced by us only a very little bit. While our children, we have a huge power to influence our children. A lot of us are giving up our influence in terms of quality. I have friends, in fact, I’d say it’s normal among my friends to stick children in daycare and then to try and go to work and be important to have an influence.
Meanwhile, the people at daycare and the other kids are influencing our children often much more than we are, which then frustrates us at home when we try and influence them. There only to discover they’ve adopted beliefs and values from other people. A lot of us freely give up our most influential opportunities today because we believe money and quantity or number of followers, number of news stories about us.
We believe that money and perceived power or numbers of followers will do more for our influence. I’m very grateful today to have the chance to spend hours with my daughter every day and be a big influence on her. At the same time, it’s humbling to see my wife has by far the single largest influence on our daughter because my wife spends the most time with our daughter too. My wife pays the most attention to our daughter. My wife has a gigantic influence on our daughter.
I’m grateful today that I get to have some influence on my daughter. Now, yes, this could be a painful point to look at because many of us may look around and realize we have been almost completely giving away all of our influence that we’ve given up things we care about in exchange for things we don’t care about. We’ve given up time with our children, our time with our loved ones to work on projects that we are just hoping will make us a bit more money and return the influence to us that we already gave away.
I find this very important to look at opportunities to do better and to improve. Sometimes we just have to sit on the couch and cry about the things we’ve done before we have the courage to say, “You know what? I’m going to pull my kids out of daycare and start raising them at home. I’m going to honor my child’s request to drop out of school and teach them music at home” as Martin Garrix, I believe his name is, now is a world-class musician because his parents supported him dropping out of school at 10 years old or so, when he asked to.
When we take back our influence, we take back our full power as well. Another key to this often, if we’re giving our influence away, if we’re thinking money and quantity are really important, we may get really offended when people call us out on that. When we are going to work and earning six figures a year but then we’re not getting much time with our children, our marriage is on that rocks and then someone calls us out on that and says, “What you’re getting with your six-figure job at work is not worth what you’re giving up, your time with your family, your marriage.”
A lot of us will often react very hostile and say, “How dare you tell me the truth. I don’t want to hear that.” I used to react the same way. I used to give my influence away to everyone and everything else in exchange for trying to make more money, in exchange for trying to have more followers. Today, I’m grateful that I have the courage to see that influence is both a function of depth and of breath.
In other words, how many followers we have and how much we give to each of them, how much time we spend with our children, and what do we do in the time we spent, how much time we spent with our friends, family, and everyone in our lives. The people around us influence us a lot. Therefore, the people we are influenced by are contributing to our influence as well. I hope this has been helpful because this aspect of influence is one of the most challenging to get a hold of completely. Once we get a hold of this, then we are unlocking our full influence.
Thank you very much for being here with me. There’s a playlist on YouTube if you like to keep watching these similar kinds of videos with me. It’s on The Jerry Banfield Vlog. If you subscribe to my YouTube channel, youtube.com/jerrybanfield and check that Jerry Banfield Vlog playlist, you’ll be able to see a ton more talking head videos like this. I’ve also got screen-captured video tutorials you might enjoy on the video tutorials channel.
Specifically, the video you just watched was a part of an online course I filmed with Tomas George named 42 Secrets of Influence. If you want to watch all the videos that make up this entire course, will you please use this page to buy the course. There are several different options you can use to buy the course. You might even find a coupon or a discount. This first option is on uthena.com. This is a course platform and freelancing platform we’ve launched.
I see it as the next-generation online education and business platform. You can buy the course here. You can see all the 42 secrets of influence here, then you also can get access as a partner and get all the courses for life on here as well. You can also get this as a book. If you prefer to read the 42 Secrets of Influence book, it’s available on Kindle and you can also get this as an audiobook. I love listening to audiobooks. You can go on Audible and grab this as an audiobook. If you go to jerrybanfield.com/books, you’ve got links to all my books on here.
I think if you enjoy this, you might also– I think my best book, my masterpiece is Officer Banfield. All my times and stories in law enforcement. You won’t believe the details that I share, how honest and full disclosure, how I share the things you actually really like to hear about plus a few pleasing stories.
You can also take this on Skillshare. The course is 31 Secrets of Influence Online, then Tomas has the other 11 secrets of influence. As a student, you might enjoy Skillshare because you can get the first two months for free and you can get access to 20-something thousand courses all in one Skillshare membership. Now, if you don’t like subscription, Skillshare is a subscription model.
It’s $96 a year, which I pay, or it’s $15 a month. I get a $10 referral if you sign up for Skillshare. I love using Skillshare because I can just watch any class that’s on there. There’s lots of classes on Skillshare that are also on other platforms that you can get with your membership on Skillshare. I’m very grateful when you join the thousands of people who use my exact link in the description to join Skillshare for that $10, plus I get a few cents every minute you actually watch on Skillshare.
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