Creating Amazing Progress: Why Criticism Doesn’t Work

You can learn and grow or you can criticize and condemn. It’s hard to do both.

On my Facebook page, it’s amazing the amount of criticism I have that comes in about my Call of Duty playing style. I used to criticize other people’s play style. I used to play the game the same way criticize how other people played. I used to make myself out to be the victim. I would complain about how unfair it was that other people did these things that kept me stuck in this place that I was. I thought that if everyone else wasn’t such a jerk then I could reach my full potential.

Now I see that if I’m criticizing and condemning other people, I will never reach my full potential. To reach my full potential, I must learn and I must grow. I can’t learn and grow when I’m criticizing and condemning other people. This is why I’m not condemning anyone for criticizing me. I’ve criticized a lot in my life. I’ve pointed out what was wrong with almost everything in the world. At 31-years-old, I’ve learned from that.

If I want to become a better gamer, I must appreciate what every other gamer is doing right. When someone is sitting behind a car camping the hell out of me and I had no chance to fight back, then I learned from that. I would know that’s a good spot and I can try that in the future. I may or may not get the same result. Often when I see what other people are doing right I can add that to what I’m doing. If I criticize what other people are doing right, I can’t add that to what I’m doing. I’ve criticized it and said it was wrong. If I were to add that to what I was doing, then I would be living a life of hypocrisy.

How many times have I criticized someone for the exact same thing I was doing? Often criticism will keep you in the same place that you’re at. If you’re criticizing, then you’re not learning the lessons of the person being criticized. If you are criticizing, it’s a horrible place to be stuck in. You feel like you can’t do anything and grow and you feel helpless. You hate what other people are doing because it reminds you of what you are doing.

It’s funny seeing comments about me being a camper because that’s never what I’m doing in my videos. In some video I’d be running around and people still call me a camper. It’d be funny to see if everyone posted their videos for me to see how many of them were camping.

It’s helpful that I know I can learn and grow or I can criticize. I know if I want to do better, I want to notice what other people are doing right. There’s always another point of view in life. There’s another point of view besides this one I’m sharing. There’s always another way someone else can learn and criticize and the same time. This is not true in my case. If I am criticizing, my walls are shut. I’m saying what I am doing is better.

Today I try to live a life of transparency and holiness where the things I say are the things I do. I’m aware now when I criticize and it’s almost funny to me when I do criticize. The other night I screamed at another player that was camping. It was funny to realize that’s what other people say about me. It now wakes me up whenever I criticize.

It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does, it wakes me up to the fact that I’m miserable. When another driver pulls out in front of me and my first response is to get upset and curse, I know I’m miserable. Then, I’m motivated to pray for help. I know, then when I’m feeling that way I’m in a hell that I have created and I cannot get out because I made it. This is my hell that I created and I must be open and ask to be released from the prison I’ve made myself in. Criticism is a prison. There’s people everywhere that are wrong and that’s hell. I’ve spent enough time in hell that when I see that I’m in hell I ask to be let out.

Last night I was stuck in bed and couldn’t fall asleep. I heard the criticism one after another. The dogs were breathing too loud. The baby’s rolling over too loud. My wife’s in the way. If everyone else would just clear out of this bedroom I could fall asleep. That tells me I’m in hell. Here we are back in hell. The fire is going, the pitchforks are out and I’m getting stuck with it. I realize what I’m doing and I would like help getting out of hell.

Hell is a metaphor. Hell is a feeling of being miserable and frustrated. When I’m stuck being angry, I ask for a way out. It comes way faster than doing anything else and there’s no consequences. I wanted to wash my anger down, but there were always more problems, more anger, and more frustration.

When I pray for help or ask for help, I get released quickly. Last night I fell asleep and I woke up completely out of hell. I’m aware that criticism today is like a stench. It’s a stench that reminds me that I built a place that’s crappy that I’m existing in. I build the world around me. My attitude and my ideas built a world around me. If I built a world that stinks, then I’m stuck in it and I better ask for a way out.

I’m motivated to ask for a way out to day because I realize that if I’m in a crappy world that stinks that rubs off on everyone around me. If I’m in a world that stinks, my motivation to get out is that I’ve spent enough time in hell. I’ve done my time and I deserve to be released. I’m worth loving enough to ask for a way out of hell. I’ve punished myself enough and everyone else deserves not to be brought into my hell.

My wife deserves not to be criticized and brought into my hell. It helps me to see that if someone else is criticizing me I have the option to enter their hell or not. If you criticize me, I have a choice to enter your hell or not. When I lived a life where I went around criticizing and living in hell. I had no choice about whether I could enter someone else’s hell. If you talk stuff to me, I must enter  your hell because I’m bored with my hell.

If I’m not in a miserable place in my hell, I can choose whether I enter your hell or not. The most amazing thing is if I’m completely in a place of peace, I can walk into your hell. I can hold your hand and pull you out of your hell if you’ll come with me. I love doing this with my daughter. She gets stuck in her own miserable place at four months old often before bed time the same as I do. I’m willing to walk into her hell with her and cry and suffer through it with her and then we can walk out together.

That’s what I’m here to offer to you. I want to walk with you and give you a chance to see what are you doing today and what kind of world have you made around you. When I share this with you it helps me. This way, when I help myself, everyone around me gets the same help. When I’m stuck criticizing, the biggest opportunity I have is to relieve myself from that and the only way I can do that is ask for help.

I pray today that I remember I can learn or criticize. Your limitations may be different, but I can’t do both. I pray that I remember when I’m in criticism mode that I can ask for a way out of criticism mode at any time. That’s a signal to wake up. I’m falling asleep and falling into hell. If I don’t want to spend any more time there I must ask for relief. I pray that you have the same chance today to see the world you’re in at all times. You know the next time you’re criticized what you can do to get out. You can turn that criticism into a chance to learn and grow and be a better person. If we’re all inspired to be better people, all the problems in the whole world will be solved. Thank you for reading this and I hope you have a great day today. I would love to know what you think about this post. Thank you for sharing your feedback.