I had a little crypto slip yesterday. For most of the last half-year or so, I’ve been out of the crypto game doing nothing but selling.
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Yesterday I was looking at messaging my Discord server to get Brave verified and I finally did that. I got all excited seeing I had $15 worth of Brave just sitting there and I thought, “Let’s blow this up and this is going to be huge.”
I got really excited and I will show you inside my Coinbase account here.
I bought $7,000 of Bitcoin yesterday, and then by the end of the day my mind was a mess because the main thing I’ve been doing is gaming on Facebook, making tutorial videos on YouTube and podcast episodes, which I take the video from YouTube, put it into a podcast episode, then put it into a blog post.
Doing tutorials and gaming, that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve been loving it and I’m just about to crack the Facebook gaming algorithm. I think I finally got it. After five months here, all I need to do is blow my page likes up with some global page like ads. That seemed to work really well before and if I put a bigger budget into it this time…
“It’ll go insane, go insane. Throw some glitter, make it rain. Let me see them, hands.”
So yesterday I’m getting into all this crypto again and researching, and I’m imagining all these grand schemes like, “Yeah, I’ll have people get in my partner group and if you get in my partner group, then I’ll tell you what I’m going to buy before.”
I’m picturing buying all these currencies and making all this money again, and then at the end of the day I’m just lost. I’m confused. I’m disoriented. I’m in fear. I’m full of crypto thoughts. I’m aggravated that I’ve been putting everything into setting up an awesome gaming studio that the majority of the feedback I’ve been seeing is to do more gaming, more gaming and more gaming.
A couple of requests, alright, maybe like 50 requests for crypto videos, but thousands of comments and messages asking for more gaming. I’ve been having a lot of fun doing the gaming videos and a ton of people are watching them.
I go to bed, and I literally cried myself to sleep last night out of just feeling defeated, feeling like a fool. It’s like I’m dropped in the middle of gold and I’m drowning, and all the amazing opportunities that are there in my life and when I try to grab on to one, I sink down into another.
I had an awesome dream last night that gave me some clarity because I also am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I go to meetings every day. I am “very concerned,” an awkward word for it. I am focused on my sobriety every single day. It means the world to me.
In the dream last night — I have these dreams where I’m in Vegas very often — and last night I was in Vegas with my friends, in the dream, not in real life. I was sleeping on the mattress on the floor next to my daughter’s bed, that’s where we were in real life.
In the dream, which felt like real life, I went to Vegas with my friends and wife, and their wives, and my two friends that I used to gamble with a lot took me off and said, we are going to go look for, I think they said Craps table, but it was really a three card table in the dream, and somehow I got off separated by myself.
Then, before I know what happened, I don’t even remember ordering a beer in the dream. All I remember is that I’m about to go through security and I realized I can’t have my beer, and I looked down and I’ve drunk like 1/3 of this beer already, and all of a sudden I realized I’ve just relapsed in this dream and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t paying attention and I was just on autopilot for a minute and all of a sudden I’ve got to reset my sobriety day.
So, there was an amazing moment in the dream because lots of times in life when we get into this point, lots of times when I got that far in real life, I took the first drink and I felt stupid, and then I just figured, “Screw it! Let’s just go all the way through with it now. Forget trying to do better. We’re just going to go all the way into doing worse.”
In the dream, for what might be one of the first times ever in a dream, I took the bottle of beer and I just threw it in the trash and I said, “I don’t care if I got to start over in my recovery meetings. I don’t care if I reset my sobriety day. I’m going to do the right thing even if I’ve already dipped my foot into what I know for me is the wrong thing.”
I woke up shortly after that and I got a very clear message because I pray to God, I say, “Please enlighten me in my dreams. Please use my dreams as a chance to teach me what maybe I missed during the day,” and I woke up with one clear word on my mind: Focus.
There are a ton of great opportunities with cryptocurrencies, in my opinion. Now might be the ideal time to buy into whatever you have been thinking about buying into. The prices for many things are as low as they have been in years, and there might be another huge pump coming in the next few years.
I don’t know, there might be a huge recession coming and the prices might go down 75 more percent. I don’t know. I don’t know about these things because while I believe I am a piece of God I am not the all-knowing, all-divine who knows exactly at right this moment what’s going to happen for all of eternity, except we are going to be in this moment forever.
Therefore, in my present situation doing anything with cryptocurrencies is a diversion. I’ve gotten my area of passion. I love doing the gaming and I’ve got a lot of skill at it. I’ve been playing video games and preparing for a lifetime, for almost 30 years I’ve been playing video games.
I’ve got a lot of skill and people love watching me. I have a very clear vision for gaming to carry a message of love, hope and faith, and charity, to inspire and connect people in gaming. I have a very clear vision for that. I’ve got an incredible amount of tools provided for that.
For me, to be doing anything with cryptocurrencies right now other than making a little tutorial or something, what I did learn yesterday, there is no reason I can’t look at something and make a tutorial on it.
I found the referral program for Brave, the browser. I’m excited to give that a try, I will make a video on it and I will test the referral program. There is no reason I can’t just test something and throw it out there, and do a tutorial to show you how stuff works.
This is not the time for me to be going all-in on something like I did with Dash, like I did with Steem. In fact, I credit both of those with obscuring and getting me off the path of my gaming vision. I had a very clear vision for gaming before. In fact, if I had continued to stay on that path, which is irrelevant by now, there are things that probably would have gone way better with the gaming than they did with cryptocurrencies.
Not to say there is anything wrong, I’ve learned very valuable lessons. It’s ridiculous to go back and look at the past and say what you could have, should have, would have done, except this is educational for now.
What my past has taught me is to focus.
When you get excited, get inspired, there are lots of times there are ideas, but some of these ideas divert you from the ideal path. The path where there is the biggest result, the biggest contribution, the biggest gift to others and often the biggest return to oneself.
So, I’m grateful today that I’ve got the courage to show you this because you might think that, “Oh, I’m proud to show you this.”
This makes me look like a fool!
I literally burned up a couple hundred dollars almost, but I only netted $75 in Coinbase fees that I lost fooling around with this.
I used a lot of my incredibly valuable time and energy focusing and thinking about this and today the cryptocurrency, the buying in and the going out, doing all that stuff I’ve done before, it felt very much like a slip, like I went just far enough in to know that it is time to back out.
That said, I may still be making some tutorials on various things that you can do. There is nothing wrong with a tutorial. Tutorials are great. I’ve got a lot of great feedback in the tutorials.
What I’ve got a ton of negative feedback about are the pump videos, are the videos with the speculation, are the videos relentlessly pitching one particular coin.
So, I’m not doing any more of those and I’m grateful for that today.
I love you.
You are awesome.
Thank you for listening to this because I hope this is useful for you today whenever the same kind of thing happens in your life.
“Well, Jerry, nothing will ever happen to me like this because I’m not as dumb as you are.”
Oh, the voice in my head entertains me.
It’s like a comedy show all the time.
Edits from video transcript by Michel Gerard at www.michelgerardonline.com.