How to Succeed: Fail Fast Fail Often

Success = failure.

Failure = success.

You might think these two things are exclusive, either you get failure or success. You can’t avoid failure and only have success or that you can be a failure and not have success. It seems to me that failure and success are two sides of the same coin. One cannot exist without the other, just as you can’t have good without evil.

You have built success into every failure and you have a failure built into every success. For example, what people have often said about what I’ve created online is that I’m so successful. I’ve done such a good job and created these amazing things. Other people have said you’re a terrible Call of Duty player, a crappy teacher, you’re not any good at what you do.

For everything you do, there’s one definition of success and another definition of failure. Success and failure are just our judgments, they’re just one person’s definition of it. When you look at a game like Call of Duty and you say one team was successful and the other team failed because they lost. One team can’t win without the other team losing. You have to, when you create conditions of failing and losing, you have winners and you  have losers. The only way you can have only winning is to play on game and get lucky.

Even if you play the one game and win, the winning is attached after the fact. When you’re playing the game there’s winning and losing within the game. You get shot in the game and that’s failure. You shoot someone else and you call that success, but you say the opposite is true. When you shoot someone else, you could say that is failure, you just created a failure for someone else. When someone shoots you, they’ve created success and passed it onto you. You can look at it how ever you want. When you look at people and you can only see success or you can only see failure, that’s only half the picture.

The more people are seen as successful, it’s the people who were more willing to fail. I know for myself I’ve been told that I’ve done some amazing things. I have also been told that I’ve done a lot of things wrong. Both of those are equally as true I’ve noticed in how I live now vs. how I used to live. I’m more willing to fail now and that opens me up to more success.

I wasn’t willing to fail 10 years ago. I wanted to work online and I saw the potential to work online. It’s still ridiculous to me that I can work online every day and that’s all I have to do. Now, that’s all my family needs is for me to do that. It’s ridiculous because 10 years ago I tried but I wasn’t willing to fail. I wasn’t willing to do anything wrong. I tried a survey marketing scheme and got my money back. I tried some MLM scheming and got my money back. I wasn’t willing to fail at anything, therefore, I didn’t succeed at anything.

The last 4.5 years online I’ve been very willing to fail at things. If you name anything that you can do online I’ve screwed it up. I’ve screwed my Facebook account up. I’ve screwed my Google account up. I’ve screwed my LinkedIn account up. Almost anything you can point to, even my Udemy account, I’ve had problems with that. This is not even my first, second, or third Facebook page. It’s more like my sixth. I had one of my Facebook pages stolen. I had other get punished for buying fake likes on them.

I’ve ran the gamut of ways to fail on Facebook. People say I’m so successful on Facebook because I’ve worked through all these failures. The same thing goes with dating. I’ve had a lot of great things said about my wife and dating, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve screwed dating up. The biggest difference between me and my friends is that I was the most willing to lose at dating. I was the most able to fail at dating. I think I’ve had more first dates than all of my friends combined. I was always going out with some new girl and if it wasn’t working out, it got to be a bit of a joke. My parents said they couldn’t keep up with these girls anymore. I would get excited about one and the next week I would have a new one. They got to a point where they wanted me to wait for a little bit more information before sharing it with them.

It’s hard to even keep up with failure sometimes. I’m grateful that today I have a wonderful relationship out of it. The relationship with my wife was better from the beginning than any of the girls I had ever dated. It was the best immediately and now it’s in outer space. I would’ve never gotten there if I hadn’t been willing to screw things up. If I didn’t have so many painful failures that pushed me to the point where I didn’t even want to live anymore. I thought I can’t do this again.

In fact, right before dating my wife, I went out with a girl and was excited but I decided it wasn’t going to work out. I thought do I just like getting punished, do I like failing? Do I like screwing things up? When you’ve failed at things so many times it will make you wonder do I just like failing? Sometimes I looked at the guys playing Call of Duty against me and wonder if they like getting beat. I will beat them 30 games in a row and they keep coming back. I know on the other side of it that’s how you learn. I have gotten beat a lot of times at League of Legends but I know there’s a lot of potential for me to be a great player there.

I got beat at trying to run my business online almost every platform has beat me down. My account was suspended. I have been banned. I had to pay this extra. Almost everything I’ve done online I’ve failed at gloriously. I’ve even been suspended off the Warrior Forum for 2 weeks. I got my LinkedIn profile suspended.

These things still hurt. Every time I make a Google Ad, I’m afraid they’re going to suspend my new account. I’m still afraid that the previous failure is going to affect my current work. When I put this video up, I have the fear that this will be the video that get’s my Facebook page banned and taken down. All those failures are a lot to live with despite all those failures. I’ve lived through all those failures and that I’m grateful for. If I can fail over and over and still be here with you, then there’s hope for you and everyone else in your life.

There’s people that have failed at a lot more things than me. Many of those people are some the most successful, the influencers. A lot of those people have screwed things up. They qualified to be president or take a position that you might think of as successful.

You want to be successful. The strange thing is all you have to be willing to do is screw things up. You’ll find that all you learn from messing things up adds up to a lot. My greatest lessons have been my greatest failures. The worst most brutal dating failure I had, led to the best. I didn’t get it right but learning from that one painful failure I had is what made dating a whole new world.

I had brutal failures with my business and I almost had to declare bankruptcy a year ago. Those things have given me a strong business. I pray today to remember that there’s no success without failure. I pray to be willing to fail a lot and be willing to succeed. I pray that you have the same chance today to see that your failures also contain your success. I appreciate this time you spent here. I love hearing from you. Your feedback helps me to learn what I’m doing right for you. Thank you, I hope you have a great day today.