If you want to be 100% happy there’s only one thing you have to do. That’s accept how things are now. All unhappiness comes from the same story, the same activity, the same thing. It comes from rejecting how things are now.
You look around and say, “Things are not how they should be.” This is wrong. All unhappiness comes from doing exactly that. Finding happiness every day comes from saying yes to exactly how things are now. So what does that mean? What does that look like? Here’s an example of saying yes. I say yes to exactly what I’m doing right now, I’m happy being here right now doing exactly what I’m doing. That is an inner state, it doesn’t matter what’s going on around me. It’s an inner state where I say yes, what’s going right now is okay. Or another way of putting it is I don’t mind how things are.
All suffering and unhappiness comes from saying no to how things are and it’s an inner no. It takes the form of different stories. If you can notice yourself telling one of these stories, you can easily see where you are saying no. In order to say yes, you need to discover where you are saying no, then you will start finding happiness every day.
Here’s an example of a story that is told in so many different formats that is an expression of saying no to how things are and saying no to the moment: I had this job before, it was so good and I loved it and I was really important there and the job I’m at now is just not the same. I don’t get paid as much, I don’t get as good of a reputation, we don’t service good of clients as at that old job.
That’s a simple story of unhappiness, that’s a rejection of now because often, if you see the person in that last job at the time. Here’s what they’d say: This job is so stressful, I’m always on the phone, I’m always at work. I have way too many projects I’m managing. I’m working 60-70 hours a week; it’s just way too much. I just can’t take this job sometimes. What you can see is the basic story of unhappiness written in different narratives.
Here’s another one: My girlfriend or boyfriend is being such a jerk, they’re not understanding me, they won’t listen to me, and they won’t do what they’re supposed to do. They won’t do this, they won’t do that. He/she just calls me all the time. He/she doesn’t call me enough. He/she is probably taking to someone else. That basic unhappiness comes in the form of a rejection to how things are. How things are is just fine.
Here’s where it’s more obvious and really hard when someone passes away. Like then my dad passed away last year I was so mad. Why does my dad have to die? Why when I’m 29 years old do I have to lose my dad? Every time I look around and see someone that had his or her dad and was my ago or older, I would be so mad. I would say that is wrong. That is wrong I lost my dad and I felt so miserable on account of it. Until I realized that’s making me miserable. My dad’s body is not here anymore and going around feeling like it ought to be is making me miserable.
I didn’t realize how much I was doing the same thing with everyone in my life. Saying you ought to be this way. My friend you ought to be doing this. You ought to be doing that. Saying my friend, you ought to be doing this. I would go around all the time judging people. Oh their marriage isn’t going to work. Look how mean he is with his kid. And that is unhappiness.
When you’re happy, you’re at peace with how things are and that makes life so absurdly simple. For example, I don’t have to worry about the things I said yesterday because whatever I said is fine. If I said something that hurt someone, then I hope now I can realize it or I hope when the time is right I can realize that and help make amends for that. In the moment, now I’m okay with whatever I said yesterday. I’m okay with whatever I did yesterday because it’s done, I have no control over it. That’s a fact now.
All unhappiness in life is related to rejecting how things are. When you accept how things are then there’s just this sense of peace that comes with it like everything’s okay. How many times have you been so worried and stressed about something and afraid everything was going to fall apart and then you have this brief realization that Oh, I’m laying in my bed right now, everything’s fine. There’s no one breaking into the house right now, there’s no one taking all my money, there’s no one taking me to jail right now. I’m in bed, everything’s fine.
That’s how life is all of the time. All unhappiness comes from making it be some other way. Life is always okay, life is always fine. The only way you can be unhappy is to say NO! No, this sucks, I hate it! No, this isn’t right. Every judgmental action you take against someone else is a reflection of your inner reality. There is only one reality and that’s your reality. Our reality, the one reality we are all in. So when you say something’s not right in your reality, you’re saying something’s not right in all reality, in everyone’s life.
The thing is you are the one that suffers the most. When I say that something’s wrong with the world and you notice I’m not saying it’s wrong for anyone to be unhappy. You’re welcome to your unhappiness and misery if that’s what you want right now.
I’m welcome to my own unhappiness and misery in my life until I realized I’m making myself miserable, I’m making myself unhappy. All of the unhappiness, all of the misery I suffer is my own creation. Everything that’s awful in my life is my own creation because if I accept how things are there is nothing that’s awful. No matter what happens.
A car pulls out in front of me that’s fine, okay. I’m late going to the gym, that’s fine. These things used to make me mad. I’d say “Dammit get out of my way you slow ass driver! Don’t’ you know I’m late?” That’s how I used to be all the time. It was really awful and it led to a lot of bad habits. Then it led to a lot of what I called pain and then it led to I need to make this pain go away.
Pain is there to tell you you’re not doing something right. It’s a little knock on the head to say “Hello you’re doing something wrong. You’re doing something wrong here.” Now there’s physical pain in the moment. If you leg hurts, if your knee hurts, if your back or neck hurts, that might be a fact of this moment, you still have to accept it just like everything else. Okay, my back hurts, that’s fine. The moment you say “dammit my back shouldn’t hurt!” You have caused a ton more pain on top of the pain you experience that’s physical pain and sometimes if you lose someone in your life, that’s emotional pain. Losing my dad way very painful and there was a lot of emotional pain there that way just there, but that doesn’t create unhappiness, that doesn’t create suffering comes from rejecting how things are.
If you want to be 100% happy, all you have to do is say yes, everything’s okay and catch yourself when you’re saying something else. If you notice you’re spewing a story of being unhappy all you have to do is notice you’re doing it and you have to say whoops I see what I’m doing, I’ll stop. I have to do that all the time. I’m still somewhat new in living a peaceful happy life. A lot of what I’m doing is me catching myself right as soon as I step outside of thinking things are okay. So I try and notice the moment I put a little tiny sliver of myself, my being, my conscientiousness outside of thinking everything is okay.
That might be the second a car pulls out in front of me and I start to get upset. I’m saying this is wrong, everything’s fine. That car pulling out in front of me is not the end of the world. It’s just how it’s supposed to be because there’s only one reality.
There’s your reality, the reality you see is the reality. We are all living the same reality when you or I say something’s wrong with any one thing in our lives, we are telling the whole universe, whether you believe in a creator of the universe, a god, a savior, however you put it. You are telling the highest authority in the universe that they’re wrong. Wherever you’re at. You’re point to them saying “God, you’re wrong, you screwed this up god!” This is all messed up God, why did you do this. That is the cause of unhappiness a pushing away of the universe saying “No! I know how this should be! I know how this should be, Damn universe, get away; I could do a better job. I would make a better world.”
That creates suffering that creates pain. That creates unhappiness because you’re saying you know better than all of life, all of creation, all of reality how things should be. And for me to see I’m doing that puts me in my place. When I’m trying to tell the whole universe that it’s wrong, it looks ridiculous now. Whenever I’m trying to say something. Whoops, okay, I didn’t make the whole universe. Everything’s probably just the way it’s supposed to be.
And it just a gigantic peace that comes from that like I dropped the whole world off my shoulders when I say okay, everything’s fine, just the way it is. Everything is just perfect just how it is and I don’t have to add a story into that. Like oh I’m a miserable failure, and I’m broke, and I have no career prospects and that’s a story. That’s a story of unhappiness. The story of now is whatever is now is physically surrounding you. For me it’s this microphone, this webcam, these two monitors, a few studio lights, a few backdrops, an office, and my house. That’s now, that’s it, these are the things I can touch. These are the things that I see that I’m aware of, that’s going on now.
Anything else is imaginary. Anything else besides what I’m getting in my physical sense perceptions is in my mind, it’s imaginary so if I’m thinking about how much money I have in the bank, that’s imaginary. I don’t actually see how much money I have in the bank right now, I’m imagining it.
If I’m thinking about all of the other things like my wife. My wife is not right here right now, she is in my mind, I think she’s at work right now. She is not in my area that she is in my mind and in my heart. If you can just get into this moment you can find 100% happiness here. If you can look around and say everything’s just fine right now, you can find complete and total happiness in that. I’m sharing this with you because that’s what feels right; that’s what I feel in this moment. Sharing with you exactly what I know how to do to find 100% happiness in life.
I appreciate you watching this. I hope my look at the utter simplicity of happiness. 100% happiness is in 100% acceptance in how things are. Unhappiness comes from less than that so thank you for watching this and I hope this has been helpful for you.