What do I do today that makes it so much easier to handle anxiety, stress, and frustration? I stop and face what I am feeling. I am at my grandmother’s funeral in Michigan and there’s lots of feelings that come along. I take care of myself beforehand because when the anxiety, frustration and fear comes, I stand where I’m at.
What I used to do that made me so miserable is I tried to run. I would fight it by doing something that would make myself feel different. I would drink, exercise too much, work, or find a new relationship to make myself feel different. I would run in my head and fight ideas like politics and religion. I would try to run and hide in all these ideas. The problem is the more you run, the more things you build up. When you finally slow down and hit the brakes everything catches up with you at once. Life tends to be miserable when that happens.
I kept running. I thought I could keep running faster and faster. That led me to where I got so miserable that I had two options: I could get my life together or I was going to die. I am lucky because lots of people can go through their lives and not have to do this until they’re on their death bed. If you can get to a place where you have to stop and face everything that’s a great gift. It’s a miracle you can live life in peace, serenity and calmness. That’s how I live my life today.
It doesn’t work every single moment in terms of every single moment is not peaceful and serene. It’s underneath everything and sometimes there’s a storm that comes. Yesterday I got a good storm when I got to Chicago. The great thing in all that is that I had done so much to prepare for the storm. I do it on a regular basis because a storm always comes.
I only got a few hours of sleep the night before. I wanted to get to bed early but my body wasn’t having it. I was feeling anxious and I only got about 3-4 hours of sleep, I usually get a lot more. If you don’t get enough sleep, you are in a vulnerable spot no matter who you are. Getting enough sleep is something that saved me so much stress and so much heartache. Sometimes life only gives you four hours of sleep and that’s what you get.
Yesterday I was calm and serene through most of the day. I was in a beautiful comfort zone. Life was good and everything was perfect. Often those are the kind of days that God has something ready for hard times. When I arrived at my aunt’s house after traveling all day, a suffocating wave of anxiety and fear came over me. All these thought routines kicked in reminding me of bad things that could happen in the future. The weird part is there was a big part of me that was excited about it and hoped all these bad things would happen. I welcomed the idea of pain and suffering coming in. I did my best to stop and look at it.
I looked at my feelings and asked myself what I was feeling. I was feeling tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. After taking a deep breath, all the feelings were still there. The amazing thing is to be in that state of mind and to see that you do not on the surface want to feel better. You don’t want to feel better and that is what drives me to prayer. I pray to be sober and to take good care of myself and not make it worse. I also pray for my roles and responsibilities. I pray to be a good husband, friend, family member, a good person that makes videos with you online.
Even if I don’t want to feel better, I still pray because there’s this little child in me that deep down who’s terrified. It’s almost like there’s a summoning by the devil that comes for you. You can see it coming sometimes and when it’s there you just want it to be over with or you just want to give in to it and have it take you completely. One of the hard things to do is have that demonic, evil possessed feeling and thought structure come into you and watch it. Eckhart Tolle calls it the pain body.
The pain body is this horrible feeling that the future is not going to work out, everything is going to be miserable. When that comes, the only thing you can do is pray and pray not to make it worse because I know it will get better. If I make it worse, I don’t know when it will get better. Thank God I’ve learned to not make it worse and to use my mind as an ally in not making it worse instead of an enemy. Once that thing comes all you can do that works is to stand there and let it happen. It’s like a storm. If you see a storm coming and let it pass, it just passes so much faster than if you try to stay ahead of the storm.
I listen to a song that one of my Udemy students made today and it helped. You do things that help. You do things like pray. I went to my support group meeting today and I felt better. I called my wife and my wife was having a hard time, too. This is the first time I’m being away from my newborn and my wife is caring for her alone. Her parents are there, but it’s not the same. I’m not there to comfort her and that’s different. To understand that if I’m going through this, my wife is liable to be going through the same thing. If she’s going through the same thing, I want to be there to not make it worse for her also.
When it comes it is to recognize what it feels like when it’s coming. It doesn’t help if you’ve been in pain so much that you’re used to feeling that awful. You’re used to feeling that so much that you don’t know what it feels like to feel normal and peaceful. You can use the same solution to ask for help.
It works a lot to ask for help. That’s what I do. Regardless of whether or not you believe in God or you’re an atheist. Whatever the asking, that’s what you work through. Now how would we understand who’s listening. The asking is something you can do no matter who you are. You can ask and whoever will listen even if it’s just you that listens you can ask. It’s nice that I know I have prayer as a tool. I have the courage to stand when it comes because it kind of feels like the devil is entering in.
If you listen to Eckhart Tolle, the pain body is active or feels like you’re tired, miserable, and afraid. When those feelings come, I stand there and I let them come. I don’t fight. I don’t push them back. You might think to not fight means to give into them, but it’s weird. When you don’t fight, you understand you can’t not give into them. You have to give in one way or another. The more you fight, the worse it’s going to be when you give in.
The more you fight and struggle when those feelings to get in, they will wreak havoc. You can see that with all the things going on in the planet. You can see what it feels like when fear, anxiety, and misery take a hold of someone. You have to let the feelings go through you. Let them go through and you first have to let them in for them to go through. If you fight to keep them out when they break in, you’re liable to disappear in terms of consciousness. You’re liable to give in and let those feelings control everything you do.
It’s easier with an alcohol or a drug addict to see when they take the substance or drink. It’s a little harder to see it when it’s in terms of just behavior and someone you love is just going crazy. They’re like a different person and not themselves. It’s like they’ve been possessed by a demon. They’re not rational except as far as it can be used to hurt you. Today, I pray that I have the courage to stand and face the feelings. I pray to not stand up with my fists up , but with my head bowed and let them come.
If they’re coming they have already decided that they should come. By the universe life, the creator, god decided this is what I need right now so who am I to debate that decision? I pray today that I accept that I have exactly what I need in front of me. I pray that if I have feelings of anxiety, depression, and misery in front of me that those are the feelings I need in front of me. Those are the feelings that lead me back to peace and serenity. I either have peace and serenity or I can find my way back to it. If I’m in peace and serenity I can stay there. If I’m in these feelings of suffering, I’m being taken back to peace and serenity as long as I don’t fight. If I fight, it gets worse. If I fight, the lesson will be continued until it’s learned.
I pray today that you have the same chance. I pray you live a life today filled with peace and serenity for you have the courage to stand there and let your feelings come. Let them come and let them pass. Anxiety and fear and stress often pass in minutes for me today. These things used to take days, weeks, and months for me.It hurts when they’re there. The last twelve hours have hurt, but I feel a lot better now. When they come again, I pray that I remember this video and I can get through it faster. If we all get through our feelings faster, we are all better off because peace and serenity and love is the foundation of life. Anxiety and fear and frustration are all reminders to look back at the love. Thank you for reading this. I value your feedback and hope you have a great day today.