How do I Succeed at Dating?

succeed at dating

Do you want to succeed at dating?

When you have taken thousands of steps already to succeed at dating and you know you are with the right person rather than just with a warm body, now comes the real work.  Everything you have done to get here has put you in the best position to succeed at dating and to fail epicly.  You now can either succeed at dating by finding the love that makes life worth living or fail miserably and face sadness worse than you hear in every sad love song.  You have moved out of the penny slots and now you are playing the high stakes games.  Winning or losing here could mean the difference in a beautiful life or eternal regret.

Sound frightening?  It should be when you think how likely you are to screw it up.  My first, second, third, and every relationship after that until my wife was a failure.  I went through the first steps  often in a sloppy and half assed manner with a determination to get to the reward.  What I did not understand was that the sloppier the foundation I built was and the more time I took to build it, the more painful and costly my failures were.  Know that most people mess most of their relationships up in their life and that is okay!  You only need to do it right once for it to make all the difference in the world!  I failed hundreds of times until I finally signed up for match.com and met my wife in January 2011.  I had been trying to succeed at dating for more than 10 years before that.

With this in mind, plan to succeed at dating or fail fast.

You want to continually up the stakes with the person you are with and see what happens.  Meet their family, take vacations together, and really get to know each other.  If things are going to fail, you want to waste as little time as possible.  None of us will ever have enough time to do everything we want but some of us will get to do a lot more of what we want than others.  You are your own worst enemy when it comes to time wasting.  If you realize you made a mistake with the relationship, get out of it fast and stay out!  I hurt a lot of feelings and got my feelings hurt a lot.  I still have dreams about how cruel I was and yet it is all worth it based on what I have now.  The reward of being with the best person you can handle is worth the sacrifice of time, sadness, and loneliness you have to pay with.  Keep in mind why you are doing this in the first place.  You want to find love that makes your life worth living.

When you go boldly forward with your new relationship, you will both either fall apart quickly or come together quickly.  Each new adventure you take will enable you to know each other more completely which should increase your comfortable and faith in each other.  The expectations of society will take a backseat to what you feel like doing when you are on the path to succeed at dating.

I consistently laugh when I hear couples going through growing pains in their relationship at points of engagement and getting married.  One of my friends said he was going to take his girlfriend to look at rings a couple of times but then he did not because he said she acted like a bitch.  Really? The idea of getting married is that fragile to you that she could act like a bitch one day and throw you off from wanting to look at rings?  If you want to succeed at dating, the first step is to make sure you are with the right person!  Here is your sign you are with the wrong girl!

Case Study: “I better be fucking engaged.”

One of my close friends had dated a few girls before that were not right for him.  The flame went out quickly and they kept doing it because they had committed to it.  Eventually, it got so boring even the breakup was not bad because they both had withdrawn to being practically single.  This time however he had found the right one and decided he really wanted to succeed at dating her.  While he is introverted and a typical man in terms of needing a little encouragement as to what to do at times, she is a perfect compliment.  We were at the bar one night talking upon an upcoming friend’s wedding.  I told my friends that I knew I wanted to marry my wife and that we would probably be engaged then.  My friend’s girlfriend said: “I better fucking be engaged by then too!”  He went to the store the next day, bought a ring, and asked her the day after that.  They are now married and continue to enjoy even more happiness now than they did when they first met.  When it is right, the next step is much easier than it is for most people.  When you are with the right person, being able to succeed at dating is ridiculously easy!

Thank you for reading this post about how to succeed at dating!  I hope it has been helpful and to see you here again soon!