What’s the secret to feeling better when you get a little bit or a lot depressed? By depressed I mean sad, mopy, feeling unmotivated, feeling down, useless, things like that. Here’s the secret: it will go away on its own. It will go away without you doing anything. You don’t have to do anything and it will go away. To me, that’s just a miracle to discover that.
Most of my life I thought when I felt depressed, when I felt down, when I felt sad, that I would have to do something to change how I felt. I would try and numb the pain or I would try and distract myself from the pain with things like video games. I would try and do something like exercise. I would try and just lay in bed and hope that it would pass. Usually I wouldn’t do that because I didn’t have enough faith that it would ever change. All I could see is how I felt and that fear that I’d never feel any different, that fear that what if it never goes away.
The thing is all you have to do is remember all the other times you felt like this in your life, except this one, it has went away so it will go away this time too. I’m making this here, not when I’m in an upbeat mood. I’m a little depressed myself and so I don’t get too far down though because I know it will go away and I know I don’t have to do anything except what I normally do so I have a series of routines through most of my day that are fairly similar every day.
I start off, I eat, I pray, I make one of these videos or podcasts, depending on how you use it. I usually then will do some exercise, I’m going to the gym in a few minutes, then I’ll have lunch. I’ll have a few hours that are up to me. I can do some work or I can do some games or something. I can talk on the phone, then I have a support group meeting. Then after that, my wife will come home and I’ll hang out with her, then I can go to bed.
What you can see in there is a safe set up for my day. I don’t need to rapidly change what I do. I don’t need to innovate all these things. I don’t need to take any pills, I don’t need to try and numb the pain, I don’t need to see a therapist or something like that because this is normal. It’s normal to feel down sometimes and you will feel down less if you just feel it, notice it’s there, and know that you don’t have to do anything and it will go away.
It’s like clouds in the sky. Imagine if you looked up in the sky and felt like you need to move those clouds, felt you have to do something to clear it so it would be a sunny day. That would be ridiculous, wouldn’t it? You obviously realized that’s ridiculous pretty far into it. Why do we do the same thing with our moods? Why do we look at our moods like something we need to move out of the way or change? Why do we look at it like it’s wrong to be a little bit depressed sometimes? Why is there this idea that we’re supposed to be happy all the time? That’s simply not true, it’s natural.
Life is often seen in wave moments, you’ll have a little up, a little down. The key is to keep those movements in balance. If you don’t want to get way down in the dumps depressed, then you don’t want to get up too high either. You don’t want to get into a place where you feel like you’re on top of the world and you’re winning and everything’s just perfect and that place of euphoria. You don’t want to go there because you will hit the depths of depression. I know based on my experience. What you want to do is feel that joy and simple peace from being a live because I feel that even now. Even now, when I’m a little depressed, I still feel that joy and peace in being alive. I don’t go too far down and I don’t go too far up, either because I try and have humility. I’m not the greatest person in the world, I’m not the worst, either. I’m just another person and there’s a lot of relief in that.
In living a balanced life where you have healthy routines that take care of you regardless of what mood you’re in. If I was really happy and on top of the world today. I would do about the same thing that I’m doing now and there’s a lot of safety in that. I knew I used to have drastically different days based on how I felt. If I felt good, I did one set of things. If I felt bad, I did another set of things. The thing is you get stuck feeling bad much longer when you do things like that because you get into doing your bad routines and you’ll drag out a bad mood way longer than it would have if you just acknowledged it and accepted it and realized it will pass. Even now while I’m doing this video, I already feel better. It hasn’t lasted that long, it only lasted a few minutes and I felt very happy when I first woke up this morning. I felt very grateful for my life, very thankful and then took a nap and I woke up a little groggy, feeling a little down. I don’t have to go any deeper than that. Putting a reason on why you’re depressed is often very dangerous because you’ll put these reasons that aren’t real, the feeling is just what it is, it’s a temporary thing; it comes and goes, but when you put reasons to it, then you start putting these things you can’t control onto your feelings and that makes things harder because as you go through the day, your mood may have flipped and you’ll remember why you were upset and get mad again; you’ll trigger it again.
I’m grateful to be here with you today because I’m here with you whether I’m having a great day or whether I’m down a little bit because that’s honest. If I just made these when I was feeling great, that would be a lie, you would only see one side of me, you’d only see the up side of me and that’s not the truth. The truth is all of us have ups and downs and the thing is your downs cannot go so low if you’re willing to set your life up in a way that you don’t let your mood determine what you do. What you do is rationally planned out and tested in a healthy way of living and you just do it regardless of whether you’re in a good mood or a bad mood or whether you’re in a neutral mood, an apathetic mood.
I’m grateful for the chance to be here with you today, I can already feel the depression lifting a bit and that’s great because that’s the secret, you just let it go. You notice that it’s definitely there and you just keep checking on it. Is it still there? I don’t know. If I look in my body, I don’t know where it is. I can’t feel it anywhere in my body. My body feels good, my body feels alive. My body feels 100%, my body doesn’t feel depressed, My body feels excellent. Where is that depression? Try and actually find it because I think I felt it before, but I’m looking for it now and I don’t know where it is. I can’t feel it anywhere in my body therefore it’s just in my mind and my mind will always have different thoughts sometimes it will be happy thoughts, sometimes it won’t, and that’s okay.
The secret is knowing it’s already okay and it will be okay without you doing anything about it. You don’t need to do anything about it and it will be okay. I find great relief in that and I find my times of depression clear up 10 times faster with this new way of looking at things. I very rarely have more than a few hours where I’m down at once. I think in the last few months I’ve only had a couple of days where the whole day was down and it’s because of the things I share with you here and all of the other things I share with you each day.
Thank you for being here with me today. I pray that I’m here to serve you today, the best I can honestly. I pray that when I feel down, I have faith that everything is just how it’s supposed to be and if I’m supposed to feel down, then that’s okay. I pray that by sharing this with you, if that’s how you feel now, that this helps you learn how to improve your mood and energy. Thank you for being here with me, I’d love to know what you think of this, and I hope that you this and I hope you have a wonderful day.