Why is it that I try never to tell anyone else what they should do in their life and I try to focus completely on figuring out what the right thing for me to do right now is? The reason is simple, how many times have people told you what you should do in your life? How many times online, offline, friends, family, coworkers, teachers, bosses, how many people have the told you what you should do?
You share a problem with them and they share with you what sounds like a simple solution. Does that work usually? How often does that work? I find that almost never works. The reason is this. Most people are operating on do as I say not as I do. The reason that’s interesting and enticing to operate on is because that allows you to take the focus of you and put it on someone else. That’s why there’s so many things created where people are saying what everyone else ought to do.
When we all are sitting there telling each other what to do, who is looking at what we’re doing and who actually has control? It turns out I am the only one who has control over what I do and the only way I have control over what I do is if I’m looking at what I’m doing with that same eye that I use to apply to everyone else. I used to look at other people’s lives and tell them what they should do. What I wasn’t doing in the mean time is looking at my life. The more I look at my life, it becomes obvious what I am doing and what the right thing for me to do is. If I’m not looking at my life, if I’m spending all of my attention looking at other people’s lives, I’m on autopilot and then I don’t have control over what I do which sucks for everyone else in the world because if I don’t have control over what I do who does?
If I’m not controlling me, I’m just running on autopilot and that’s scary. Picture people’s cars driving around on autopilot. If I want to have a great life, I must and I do focus my attention on what I am doing now and what the right thing for me to do now is. It doesn’t matter if I understand what happened yesterday and the day before and throughout all of history. It doesn’t matter if I know what will happen tomorrow, the only control I have is over this particular moment. I can continue speaking, I can stop speaking.
I can do anything in this moment. I have no other control over absolutely anyone or anything in this entire world. I can’t control what you are going at all. I can’t control anyone else’s driving, what anyone else is saying, I can’t control anything except what I’m doing. That means I want all my attention on what I’m doing and not as much the selfish attention like I’m so great because I’m just an ordinary human being.
I want to just observe what I’m doing the same way as I might observe what someone else is doing. Right now I’m talking, my feet are standing on the ground, my arms are hanging by my side sometimes my head moves. That’s what I’m doing right now and that’s what I need to know is what am I doing right now? It’s interesting to see that if I talk about other people I’m missing the chance to notice what I’m doing and when I don’t know what I’m doing, then I don’t know what to do next. If I’m focused on everyone else’s life, my decisions get made for me by the past. Whatever I did doing before, I I’ll just automatically do it again.
If I’m looking at what I’m doing then there’s a choice. There’s a choice whether to keep talking, to turn this computer off, to go do anything else in the world. As long as I do anything in the world, I can make a choice about it. I’m here consciously to make a video with you, but I’m making that choice consciously. If I was telling you what to do in this video, then it would be hard for me to notice what I was doing and you also would think this video was terrible if I tried to sit there and give you a situation in life and tell you what to do with it.
I find people are open to hearing what I am doing with myself and hear what’s working out because it’s honest. You can trust that I’m talking about my own life with some objectivity. If I try and tell you about your life, your initial reaction is going to be bs or “you don’t know me” or “you don’t know my life.” That’s true. I don’t know you. I don’t know your life. Even with my friends and family, I get little slices of their life. Even my wife, I probably know my wife’s life better than anyone else in the world and yet, I’m not in her body 24/7. She knows so much more about her life than I do. She essentially knows about all of her life and I know about 5 – 10% of her life. The time I see her when she’s around me and the things she’s told me.
Even my wife, I have no place to give my wife advice about what she should do about something because the truth is I don’t have enough data to know what she should do about something. The only person I know enough about to say what they should do is me. I have 100% of the data on myself as long as I’m looking at what I’m doing. If I’m looking at what you’re doing, I go down, I don’t know everything about myself then. I honestly don’t know everything about myself even if every day I look at myself, but I do know a lot more about myself than I know about anyone else.
I’m able to do these videos because I know in what environment I can make these videos. I know how to get everything set up so they come out okay and they’re not perfect, they’re not great, I hope what I’m saying comes through completely because I’m grateful to be living a wonderful life today. I’m grateful to have been given a wonderful life. I went through my life looking at everyone else and I suffered a lot because I didn’t take time to know myself and that’s what the expression know thyself, that’s where the power is in that where you know yourself. There’s choices about who you can be.
As long as I know myself I can choose every moment how to be and then I don’t have to be a certain type of person, I don’t have to be this type of person or that type of guy. I can be anyone at any time as long as I know myself and I’m consciously choosing what I’m doing and choosing what I’m doing. I’m paying attention to what you’re doing and trying to tell you what to do, then who’s controlling me?
I honestly can’t multitask that well, that comes from knowing myself that well. I can really only give my attention well to one thing at a time. As long as I’m looking at myself, I can have full choice in what I’m doing moment to moment. I find that even if I talk about someone else’s life for too long, I start slipping away, I start slipping into pain and suffering, so when I try and even communicate basic things about other people’s lives, I try and keep it short because if it goes over a couple minutes and I’m explaining what this other person’s going through that much, I start to go into pain as I lose touch with myself. I start to slide into unconscious autopilot mode which is painful so I work to stay in conscious pilot mode and that involves knowing myself and it involves not talking and especially not judging what other people are doing.
I used to be a big relationship guru. If you brought your relationship to me, I told you exactly what you needed to do for it which was funny since I usually was single and frustrated with relationships. How many people do you know like that? The only thing you can do anything about is you. If you recognize you spent a lot of time talking about other people, then you have the chance to look inside yourself if you’re anything like me and I’m starting to see most people in life seem to be similar to me when you look at all the similarities, it seems to me that we are 99% similar, that all people are about 99%similar and we focus on that 1% of differences all the time which then makes us feel isolated and miserable and lonely. If we just all worked on ourselves, wouldn’t that be a lot easier than just working on each other and then no one working on ourselves?
I try and take responsibility for what I can do and that’s fix me. That’s be the best version of me because that helps me to be of use to you. I can be of no use to you if I’m trying to get something out of you. If I’m trying to force you or control you or make you to do something. It’s very hard to be genuinely of service to you as long as I’m here honestly talking about myself I have a chance to serve you
Thank you very much for being here with me today. I pray that I will look down honestly at myself and I will let go of my ideas about looking at and judging other people. I pray that in having self knowledge, I can continue to be of service to you with the self knowledge I have and that you can look at the things I’m doing and use them for yourself where you find it helpful and I pray today that I’ve shared this in the spirit of love hope and faith, that I’ve created this in, I’m honored you’re here, I value your feedback and I hope you have a great day today.