How I challenge myself in a healthy way today is I do something like I’m doing right now here. I feel like anyone can practice any high morale or morals or principals on a good day. The question is: what can I do on a bad day to uphold my principals and morals in that situation? I’m playing League of Legends with my friends which is a challenging environment for me to stay conscious. I’m challenging myself in a healthy way by doing something where I’ve struggled to stay conscious. I’ve struggled to maintain my serenity. I’ve struggled with getting stuck in negative scenarios and getting frustrated with life.
Today, I’m playing a ranked game of League of Legends. Over the last few years, this has been one of the most challenging things for me. It’s my first ranked game for months now. I’m trying to lead by example to show you that I practice these principles that I share with you. I’m doing this to show whether I can do this or do these principles only work on a sunny day when everything is going well.
One of the hardest things I have with my friends is getting into the shame triggers. When my friends tell me I’m not playing well enough and we start losing, it’s difficult for me to keep it together. It’s really difficult for me to not get upset or to not feel ashamed of myself. I feel likebI’m not a good enough person or like I’m not contributing to the team. All those stories have frequently made things difficult for me. Now, I’m going to keep you updated as this game progresses as to how things are going. I’m going to tell you when I’m getting upset.
The irony is life gets a lot easier when you’re able to pause and admit when you’re having a hard time. I notice just admitting I’m in a mood, allows me to get over it faster. When I’m not willing to admit I’m in a mood, that’s when the mood tends to last the longest. This is helpful for me to not do the same things I’ve done a lot over and over again. They say if you do the exact same thing in life the same way, you’re going to get the same results. Right now I’m trying to do something new in a different scenario and do it in a different way. Doing this with you is a better chance for me to do better also.
I value your feedback. I honestly want to know how much you care about what game I play. Do you care that this is League of Legends? Do you like that I’m using an example with something that I’m actually doing in the game? Would you rather me talk about how things are going on an abstract basis?
I just had the first situation happen that’s usually frustrating. I just got killed by the other guy. Also, our team is behind now. We are down 5 – 2. Most of the time, that would’ve driven my crazy and I would’ve gotten mad and lost my cool, but I’m okay with things now. I’m okay with what happens. I remember to not forget the principles I talk about. In this case, I remind myself that I’m trying to have fun with my friends here and that’s what’s important. It doesn’t matter what the outcome of the game is. We’re trying to have fun and losing is not going to fundamentally change what goes on in my life.
So far in the game, I’m doing well and I’m not getting upset with what’s going on in the game. I’m thankful for that. We’re midway in the game right now and this has been a great opportunity to have a good attitude. There’s been a few things that have happened that I’ve been ashamed and upset about. You could see I’ve got four deaths, but I’ve got 8 assists.
I’ve been helping the team a lot. Even though we started off behind it feels like we’re in a strong position now. Anything you can challenge yourself with in life helps to stay present and to practice these things.
We just won the game and we worked well together as a team. I’m honored to be able to practice this lesson here with you in a situation that’s been hard for me. There was a situation here at the beginning of the game to get upset like I have so many times before. To me, if you try something new and you see things come out a different way then everything changes from there. I pray today to be willing to challenge myself in a healthy way. I pray to try new ways of living and to be a better person in every situation I am in today. I pray to remember everything that I tell you every day and that I’ve learned so I can be the best person I can be today. I pray that you have the same opportunity to live the life that you’re meant to. I pray that you can have a little positive change in your thinking that adds up over time. Thank you for reading this, have a great day today.