Why Don’t We Spend More Time Learning About Love?

Learn Love Episode 1: Why don't we spend more time learning about love?

Why do we spend so much time learning about things that don’t really matter and we spend so little time learning about love which is critical to having a happy and fulfilled life?  From loving your family and your friends to your partner, your spouse, your children, your animals, whatever you have to love.  Learning about love is something most of us just dive into like a pool and hope we get some knowledge about love on us.  Or we are raised and we parrot, what we saw, and what we heard, from our parents, and then we go on to blame our parents for the rest of our love life.  And then our children learn from us and then they blame us for their own love problems.  When in fact, why can’t we all just learn how to love on our own and live a happy life filled with love?  It doesn’t matter where you’ve come from or what you’ve been through.  It only matters what you can do in the future and if you choose to learn about love, you can get good at love.  You can even get great at love.  The benefit of being great at love is having a life filled with love and I have known no greater happiness than having a life filled with love.

 

That’s why I feel a duty to help and spread the idea that I learned how to love.  I took what I saw from my parents but I intentionally and haphazardly learned more and more about love.  What I want to share is the idea you can intentionally learn about love instead of just throwing yourself at life and hoping you get some love slapped back on you.  I think if I would have known when I was younger and when I first was interested in trying to find new romantic love, and when I was old enough to intentionally make good decisions about loving the people around me, I think if I would have known that I could intentionally learn about love, the same way I could learn about math or science, biology, if I would have known I could learn about it on purpose and get good at it, I think it would have been a lot less frustrating.  And that’s what I hope for you, that you can know that you can intentionally learn how to love and instead of life being filled with frustrations when it comes to family and a partner, it should be more of a journey and an intentional growth.

 

To get started, my thought is to ask some questions to begin and to get me and to get you thinking about love.  And then from there, to share stories and to expand on those stories.  And of course I will start with my own.  My own is quite colorful.  I’m 29 years old and I’ve been blessed to find the most wonderful girl in the world for me and we are a team now.   We are one and it was so hard.  It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life to get to the point of meeting and keeping our love together.  I would have been motivated to know when I was younger that it was possible and I just want you to know it’s possible and it’s going to take effort and learning and time and error.  And I hope I can make that process a little easier and give you a little bit more, if not a lot more potential for how much love you can have in your life.

 

To begin with the questions, the first that I ask to begin.  I have ten questions to ask to start, to get you thinking.  The first is the very first thing I began with.  Why don’t we spend more time learning about love?  Why do we spend so much time learning about such pointless and useless subjects in our lives and the ones that really matter like love, and you can even expand this onto things like how to keep a house, or buy a house, how to maintain your car, how to get a job, how to keep a job, how to be happy at a job.  All of these things that are critically important we spend very little time intentionally learning and my question is, why don’t we make a choice and change that?  Why don’t we decide, hey, I’m going to intentionally learn the things that are important to me being happy.  Love is one of those things.  I’m going to take the time and intentionally learn about love.

 

As a caveat, I’m no love expert.  I haven’t studied all kinds of books and research about love.  I’m a guy that grew up with a very loving family and struggled to find love in my own life and struggled to love the other people in my life.  And I finally got it right.  And I want to keep it right and I work harder than I’ve ever worked before to keep it right and what I’m doing right now is an extension of keeping it right.  And that is sharing the love.

 

The second question, why is learning love the easiest way to live a happy life?  Because my thought is, at least, love is something that will get you through anything else, especially when you combine love with faith and if you look at your faith as a love for G-d, or a love for whatever kind of spirituality you have, you can look at life as the, love as the all positive forward driving force in life.  And I don’t intend to answer all of these questions, I’m just getting started with these two and then I’m going to throw out some more questions for you to think about and we’ll come back to that.

 

So the third question, if we spent as much time learning about love as we spent learning about biology in school, how much happier would you be?  Or how much happier would I be?  How much happier would all of us be if we spent as much time learning about love as we do all of these other subjects that most of us never use again?

 

Fourth question, how can I find the right person to love in my life?  This is of course a question I will spend a lot of time on, especially in later episodes.  Because if you’re single, or even if you know you’re not with the right person, this is the key question at least that was on my mind.  How do I find the right person to love in my life?  I will try to help you answer this.  Of course, you can only answer it truly yourself.  What I will hope to point you in the right direction.

 

Fifth question, how can I keep the right person to love in my life?  After you’ve found the right person that’s only step 1 out of love.  Once you have found the ideal person for you to love, keeping and making that ideal love, that’s the whole rest of the journey.  When you meet the person, it is, that’s day.  You know if you like to think of it in say sobriety terms or whatever, the first day you don’t use is day 1.  The same thing with love, it’s an adventure and it just begins when you meet the right person and I’m sure you probably already know this.

 

The sixth question, how can I love the people already in my life?  And this applies to family members mostly and friends.  While I especially focused on finding a girl to love in my adult life, I’ve put very little attention on trying to find and enhance the love I already had in my life.  A couple of times I did manage to make great steps in the right direction.  But it usually took the thought of losing or the act of losing some love in my life to realize hey, there’s a lot more love in my life that I’m just wasting.  I’m not taking advantage of it in terms of, I’m not giving anything to the people I love.  I’m not thinking about the people I love.  I’m not doing anything for the people I love.  How to keep the people you love in your life and how to love the people already in your life are two key questions and perhaps they’re one and the same.  But I somewhat separated family from the romantic here.

 

The seventh question, and especially if singles are out there, what can I do to find love faster?  There’s nearly two billion single people on this planet.  There’s someone out there for you.  I promise there’s somewhere out there for you.  No matter who you are, or where you’re at, the only thing you need to do is answer the question to begin, or what can I do to find love faster?  There’s not a lot of time in this life.  If you look at how many days you have to live optimistically, there’s not that many when you look at every time you go to bed one of those days ticks off and you don’t get any more.  You want to find love as fast as you can.  And I will give some of my thoughts on how to make that happen.  What should I avoid doing to find love?

 

Step 8, or question 8, is something I love because for example I saw a video yesterday, I do online advertising for my day job, and I look at other ads the way a guy that loves cars looks at other cars.  So I saw an ad on YouTube, the ad was for I think it said, use this weird trick to get women.  And it had some terribly done cartoony video of the big jock guy in the bar and you know the regular guy sitting over there crying while the big jock guy’s talking to all the girls, and it says, using our system will guarantee that and then it swaps the jock over sitting at the bar crying, and then it puts the guy in with all the girls, you will be the one getting all the ladies.  And I clicked on the guy’s YouTube channel, see, they’ve had 3.2 million views so I’m like, that’s a lot of views I respect that you’ve got a lot of people to watch this video, let’s see what else you’ve posted.  One of his other videos was, something like stripper success method or something.  You know guaranteed step to walk into the club and pick up a stripper.  You’ll be taking her home by the fourth time you go to that club.  I’m like, this is such trash.  This is just trash.  This is a lot of what was aimed at me and the things I found when I was a teenage guy.  And it’s not as much that I wanted to find those things, as that’s what the guys and for example, I went to askmen.com a lot when I was in high school, and there was, there still is Doc Love there with his system.  I just feel like those are the exact kinds of things you should avoid in finding love because when you’re treating other people like an object, you’re acting selfishly, you’re just trying to get one thing.  Those aren’t things you should be doing to find love.  Those are only things you’re doing that will serve to hurt you, hurt other people, and hold you back from really learning about love.  And there’s a lot more I can say about that so I’ll give you a little preview of that, there it’s done.  Read the rest of this here.

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