Using Understanding to Make More Friends Than Enemies

make more friends than enemies

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How many enemies have you made in your life? How many times have you been frustrated because of how someone else wronged you? Today, let’s talk about making enemies and why I try to make more friends than enemies in my life now.

The thing is having an enemy hurts me. If I see someone else as an enemy then I’m doing that to a person who’s just like me. The more I create distance and separation between myself and one part of the world, I create distance and separation between all of the world. Life if like a package deal. I either get everything the way it is or I look around and say this isn’t right, that’s not right, I don’t like this and when I do that, you look at this you can see even the energy I use sharing it with you was toxic.

I try to never make enemies because in the ultimate reality, the life that is ever lasting, the one life, we are all one and it doesn’t make sense to try and hurt myself because I’m the one that has to suffer so I try never to make an enemy today. I try and give up being in a fight, I don’t want to be in a fight with anyone because being in a fight hurts me, regardless of how much it hurts them.

Why would this happen at all? Why would I ever try and have enemies? My mind loves to make enemies and I would guess a lot of people in the world that have a mind that works similar to how mine does. The mind loves a conflict, it loves a competition, and yet most of nature and life is cooperative. The idea of making enemies like when you see two dogs meet and they don’t know each other and they just try and fight.

It doesn’t look natural, it looks hurtful. It looks like animal behavior. If I am in a place of love and understanding I can love and understand what anyone else does anywhere and make more friends than enemies. If I am trying to make an enemy out of someone I can love and understand, that’s just not going to happen. If you can love and understand, walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, then you wouldn’t need to make an enemy out of them because you would understand and see where they’re coming from.

If I can see where anyone else is coming from, then I am in a good place myself. If I’m down in the mud and I can’t see why someone else is doing what they’re doing, then I’m in a bad place. I’m in a place where I’m suffering. I take careful listening now. Any time I hear myself saying I don’t understand, I ask myself why don’t I understand. Usually it’s because I’m choosing not to understand and I never want to choose not to understand. I hurt myself a lot when I choose not to understand. The thing is my mind loves an enemy. It loves an “other” because a self or a me that’s separate from the world is predicated on having an “other”.

Having an enemy or having someone you can’t stand or an organization you hate, or anything like that is a manifestation of the self and the other; an in-group and out-group and the mind loves that, the mind always loves to have an “other”. That’s why there always need to be an immediate war. There’s a war on drugs, a war on terror, a war on another country, there always has to be some other that’s wrong so we can be right. What I never want to do is to do that again within myself because that creates suffering and I pledge not to create further suffering in my life.

This came up for me, I got hit with a copyright notice on my YouTube channel which is just devastating to me. It could be easy for me to look at the person that sent it and to go to war with them and say  “you did this? Guess what I can do back.” The mind loves to do that and I see all kinds of thoughts that have come through like that and the beauty is to have some space around that.

How many times have you in your life got into something like that where the mind just threw these thoughts around you and you went into that thinking I’m going to get this person, they did this and I’m going to do that. They pulled out in front of me and I’m going to pass them and get right back in front of them and I’m going to slow down.

How many times have you had those kinds of things go through your mind and then I acted on them. I had these things on my mind a lot. I know I’ve caught myself driving and someone passes and I’m like “no you don’t you jerk!” You can see just what I’m talking about the pain that’s behind that. I don’t want to create any more misery or any more suffering for anyone else on the world. I’ve done enough of that.

It takes a lot of people not resisting evil, not doing more evil, and a more caring peaceful world. I want to do my part to have a wonderful peaceful world and I don’t get to make enemies without bringing myself new suffering. If I say someone else is wrong, I know that I’m wrong because if I can love and understand another person, they’re not wrong. They’re doing what they’re doing and if you’re not awake, if you’re not in a place of peace and love and serenity, you don’t really have the ability to really make much in the way of choices.

I know for most of my life I went on autopilot. When something happened in my life, I reacted. There were years of my life where I hardly remember making a real decision about anything. I have not made a  decision that was informed on love and looking at the bigger picture in the life rather than what happened two minutes ago and what I want to happen two minutes in the future and this fear and that feat and what might go wrong here. Years of my life I’ve been living on autopilot so how could I hold it against someone else who is on autopilot or whatever my judgments may be.

My judgments are the makings of having an enemy. It’s hard to even use language because language is all set up this way. How am I to judge another person when I’m not able to be in their exact position? How am I able to do anything but love and understand out of faith? I now think that if I was there, I certainly would understand everything and every reason that they did what they did. Then I would ask myself how can I get to a point to help them be in a better happy place where I am or to help them be where they’re supposed to be? How can I do good from where I am?

I know that’s hard, especially when you get hit with something that really just sticks a knife in right wherever your ego is. You might not have a big ego for your YouTube channel if you have one or you might not have a big ego for your car, or your house, but there’s likely somewhere, something I could say right now that would stick the knife in you. Possibly something about a house or a friend, or some work you’ve done, or somewhere that they vulnerability is that if someone comes along and messes with it, the immediate response our mind is likely to give us is I’m going to get you!

That is a horrible place for me to be in spiritually.

I make this video today with the hope that I can be a person that doesn’t make enemies of other people and that accepts if someone makes an enemy out of me, that’s okay. That’s fine.

What can I learn? If someone’s made an enemy out of me, what can I learn from that? You could look even like Jesus on the cross. You could say he went around and tried to do good and what did they do? They hung him up and crucified him.

Sometimes if you’re just looking to do good in the world, that’s what would happen. However, with Jesus, whether you believe in all the details or not, if we have the ability to be cruel to another human being that way and you don’t only need to look at Jesus because there are numerous examples throughout history where another human being has been horribly cruel to another human like in the Holocaust or  WWII or other wars in history. If we could do that to each other, if that’s what happens when we make enemies of each other. do we really need to keep doing it? After all of the bloodshed and slaughter in human history, what can I do to not continue the cycle?

What I can do is not be a part of making enemies because no one goes to war and slaughters another human being without first having said your’re wrong or no or you’re an enemy or  something like that. I don’t ever want to be the one that goes to war. I don’t want to be the one that goes out and slaughters my fellow human beings. I’ve done enough pain, I’ve dealt enough suffering to all of the loving people in my life and if I can go forward and serve without making new enemies, I think that’s a miracle.

Today I can pray, I will pray now, that I do not make any new enemies and that I forgive any old enemies, especially the old enemies within myself. I pray that what I’ve shared is useful in helping you not making any more enemies in your life. I pray today that I’m being of service to my fellow human beings more than I’m creating pain and suffering and I pray that I never have to create any more pain and suffering for myself or another human being.

I’m honored you’ve spent your time here with me, and I’d love to know what you think.