How can you stop hurrying and appreciate where you’re at? How can you stop being so stressed all the time and simply enjoy today, enjoy the moment? Here’s my simple answer: Mindfulness. Get in touch with this moment and look around and not use this moment as a means to an end and to not want this moment as something you don’t have and to simple appreciate what you do have right this moment.
For example, here’s how I stopped hurrying. I used to go to the gym and I’d always try and drive fast get there as fast as possible and look at it like driving was just a means to an end. That twenty minutes I’ve spent going to the gym, if I just going to the gym I could make that 15 and I could save 5 minutes of my life.
How many places have you went like that where you just tried to get there as fast as possible. Thinking “I have to get there, I’m going to be late, I have to get there. I’m on time, I’m going to be on time.” How many times in your life have you felt that energy? That nervous anxious I’ve gotta get there, I’m going to be late. That hurrying, “I’ve got to get there. Get out of my way, don’t you know I’ve got something important to do?” That energy is like poison in the middle of your soul and it produces all kinds of horrible things in your body like stress and anxiety and then all of the solutions to stress and anxiety like alcohol, drugs, and any other way you choose to cope with it. The key is to get rid of that energy in the first place.
I use a few simple things to help keep me in the moment. Things like I don’t have anywhere ever to go. This moment is the only place I ever have to be. Things like “I’ve got to get to the gym,” that’s an idea. I’ve only got one moment at a time and driving in the car is just as good of a moment at being at the gym. So when I stop judging the quality of every moment in my life, I find that all moments are special and that eliminates the need for anxious energy like that “I gotta get there, get out of my way” feeling. It eliminates all the bad things in my life because all I have to do is be here right now.
I’m doing this video because this is what I’m here to do right now. I’m not using this as a means to an end. I’m not hoping that I will get something else out of this video. Sure, video I have plans to share this video, to put it in courses, and to share it online, but that’s not the reason I’m doing the video. I’m doing the video because I love doing the video and because I want to share with you the magic I have in my life that comes from stopping hurrying. Hurrying is ultimately an unsatisfaction with the moment. Saying this moment is not how it’s supposed to be, I want to hurry up and get to one that is.
I spent most of my life hurrying from one thing to another. Most of my life was hurrying and waiting like “Come on when’s the dentist or the doctor going to serve me? When’s that waitress going to bring my food. When am I going to finally fall asleep tonight? When is this going to be done in the oven? When is this video going to upload? How many of those thoughts sound similar to what you do a lot during the day?”
Those thoughts all create suffering. Any thought besides acceptance of this moment creates suffering. Suffering happens when there is somewhere you would rather be. When this moment’s not good enough, you suffer, and I suffer. I suffer when this moment is not good enough. My neck hurts a little bit right now. So what? That’s fine. I don’t need to get to a place where my neck’s not going to hurt. Most of my life when I was sick and in pain I was frustrated with the moment and thought “this sucks I want to get to a moment when I don’t’ have this much pain.”
My neck hurts so what? It doesn’t hurt too bad at this moment, if I turn to the left and right it hurts a little bit but it’s fine right now and it’s been hurting a little bit today, but so what? I don’t need it to stop hurting. I will try to take care of it right now so I don’t hurt it worse and it probably will stop hurting, but I don’t need to wait for it to stop hurting. My life goes on and my life is fine right now with the little pains in my life.
There’s a difference between pain and suffering. Pain is when I get a signal down the back of my neck that says strain, stress, that’s pain. Suffering is when I rebel against that thinking “Dammit! Stop hurting!” That’s suffering and suffering is almost always what people call pain.
There’s a big difference between pain of the moment and the suffering by being mad about the pain in the first place. So that comes in all different forms and if you want to get away from that all you have to do is appreciate this moment. Right now you’re here watching this video with me, there is nothing wrong, any of the perceived problems you have will work themselves out one way or another. Anything that hurts at this moment, it may not hurt later and it’s okay.
If you didn’t have things that produce some pain, how would you know when you were doing things wrong? I think my neck hurts by how I slept on the couch with it. That’s my neck saying don’t sleep on the couch like that. Okay, I won’t. Or maybe your comfortable bed makes it hard for you to sleep anywhere else, so if you start sleeping on the floor, then maybe your neck will start being more flexible about where it sleeps. That’s the thing. It’s not a big deal though, I accept it. If I turn my head up or down my neck hurts a little bit, so what. It doesn’t matter.
I don’t have anywhere else to go. During my personal training workouts this helps. I used to think of my work outs as a means to an end. I’ve got to get through this work out that sucks so that I can be healthy. When I do the workouts now I focus on I have nowhere else to go, nowhere else to be except what I’m doing right now.
All I ever have to do is do what I’m doing right now. That makes a vast simplicity in life. I don’t have to try and go anywhere. That doesn’t mean I’m going to sit in this room all day and not go anywhere. It means I don’t have to get somewhere. I am where I’m supposed to be. That means I don’t have to hurry. If I’m a few minutes late, so what? I apologize. If someone has suffered from me being late. I often come to appointments a little bit late because I am often a bit selfish and get involved with what I’m doing and I run a bit over at one time. I get there and I apologize. I’m late, sorry. I’ll try not to be late next time and it’s not a big deal.
The amount of energy I used to spend when I go to the gym, being worried about being late. What were the real stakes there? Am I really going to suffer for 20 minutes trying to get somewhere? Instead, I can just handle the moment when it comes. The past and the future are great tools, but ultimately all you have is the moment. The moment is very easy if you accept it.
If you’re hurting today, if you’re struggling right now, that’s okay. Whatever higher power, if you call it God or if you call it Nirvana or Buddha, or Jesus, whatever you call your higher power, if they decided you’re supposed to have a headache or be hurting right now, if they’ve decided something was supposed to have went wrong in your life. Who am I to say that that’s wrong? Who am I to reject the form this moment takes when whoever created this entire universe has clearly decided that this is what this moment’s supposed to look like. Who am I to say “No! I don’t like this. I’m not making enough money right now. Don’t you know.” Who am I to say that? I’m just a person I’m no better or worse than you. I’m just here trying to do my best. I try not to point the finger anymore because that finger ends up hurting me.
When someone else pulls out in front of me driving and I say “You idiot” I’m the idiot and I feel the idiot because if I’m loving and understanding, when another car pulls out in front of me, it’s just like the wind blows. I don’t look at the wind if it blows and say “You damn fool! Don’t blow over here at me. Don’t you know I’m trying to stand up straight? Don’t you blow on me!” It’s just the same.
Now look at all the aspects in which we typically do that in life. Look at all the TV shows you watch where the characters go around treating each other badly and then they’re so depressed with what’s happened, they’re so frustrated with what’s happened. If you can see that happening in your own life, a miracle will happen.
If you can see all of the little dramas you are playing around with and stop playing around with them, a miracle happens. For me, I used to try and manipulate, control, talk about, and judge everyone else and you know who suffered? Mostly me. Of course everyone in my life suffered a little bit, too, but mostly me.
I would talk about people like Oh, they’re going to get a divorce” or “Wow, that guy’s really a jerk” or “Man, he’s making a lot of money, what an ass!” That’s how I used to be, how many people do you know that are like that? If you can see those things in yourself, a miracle happens because every time I condemn and criticize someone else, I condemn and criticize myself, and I condemn and criticize the creator of the universe.
So when I look around and say “This sucks” I’m saying I suck and I’m saying the creator of the universe sucks. If I look around at my life and say this sucks, it’s ultimately my projection of life. It’s coming from inside me. I’m creating the world around me and given that as I call my higher power God for convenience, given that God created this whole universe put me right here, put everyone else where they’re supposed to be, if I say that sucks aren’t I saying that God’s idea sucks, god’s creation of life sucks?
Aren’t I sitting there saying that you suck or anything similar to that aren’t I saying that God got it wrong? That hold on God, I know how this ought to be. I know how this should be right now. You don’t know, I know. Isn’t that a little foolish? Think about all the little details, the magnitude of life running inside you. Your heart’s beating, your lungs, your stomach, your digestive system, your legs, your circulation, all of these miracles happening right now. Who am I to say anything is wrong?
That’s the key to having less suffering, less pain, and not hurrying so much and appreciating the moment. Look around and say I don’t mind how things are. Some things happen like when someone around you dies, it’s supposed to hurt, but you don’t have to get mad about it, you don’t have to make it worse. It’s supposed to hurt but there’s a way to hurt that actually feels good. There’s a way to experience the hurt that feels good, that is in sync, that says “yes, this hurts and I’m okay with it. I’m okay with this hurting.”
I appreciate all the time you’ve spent here with me. I hope this has been useful and inspirational for you in finding and thinking about your life, how to not hurry so much, and how to just appreciate beauty of life that’s all around you right now. Thank you for sharing this with me.