I like to think of this body as a worker drone because then things aren’t personal. It’s just another drone that’s here to be useful like an ant on an anthill. Things are not about me. When I look at my family, friends, and possessions, I feel a false sense of self that that’s who I am. There’s a lot of suffering when those things fade away. I had a dad and when that faded away, there was a lot of suffering there because that was my dad. That was part of the “self” I had created.
If I think of myself as more of a worker drone, I’m not here to be somebody, I’m here to be nobody. I’m here to be useful. I’m here to help like a waiter in a restaurant. When you believe ideas that are helpful, then the experience of this human life is so much nicer. I like the thought that I’m a worker drone because the worker drone has no problems, no fears, no worries. If it gets squashed or stepped on it doesn’t matter, there’s other worker drones. There’s a whole hive to think about. There’s a whole 7 billion human beings to think about on this planet. Am I that special? Am I not just another worker drone on this planet to do what I’m supposed to do? Don’t I have the opportunity if I want to be another worker drone whenever this one’s done? Can’t I pick up and play another drone whenever I feel like it?
We tell these stories about our past that trap us in the small sense of “I.” They’re exhausting to tell all these stories; sometimes we don’t even remember them. For example, I don’t remember being born, it’s a story. It’s supported by other people, but what if I don’t have those other people? What if no one remembers my birth anymore? How do I even know I was born? I believe I was born. I am choosing to believe that I had a certain birth date and what was I doing before that? Whatever you believe is powerful so I choose to believe I’m a worker drone.
I am the one piloting it or watching it. To not think of myself so and to create this false sense of self is exhausting. Trying to explain who I am to you based on what I’ve done is exhausting. How did I get to do all these thing? Life put me in these situations to do all these things.
This body is just a worker drone and so are all the other bodies. When one worker drone gets in front of another worker drone while driving and we think it’s a big deal, it’s actually not. There are 7 billion of us. For one worker drone to think they are special is silly. Thinking of this body as a worker drone takes some of that specialness out of it.
The moment is exciting because life is exciting to enjoy, to watch and look around. Yet, it’s not anything personal. I was driving the other day and it’s just a miracle to see the impersonal nature of driving. One person drives and cuts in front of people. I used to drive and think it was so personal. I would cut in front of people and get annoyed when others were driving too closely. Driving used to be torture because it was so personal. Now, I look at all the worker drones driving on their own and it’s peaceful. Some of the worker drones are in a hurry for what they need to do and others are taking their time. It’s just a bunch of worker drones proceeding along most of the time. It’s one ant walking in front of another ant.
There’s no “me” there. That is able to come through when the worker drone removes this uniqueness. The “me” comes out of separation. There’s my car and then there’s other people’s cars. The moment you feel that separation and start personalizing someone else’s driving, the suffering kicks in immediately. I have helpful thoughts and I like thinking that this body is just a worker drone. That’s helpful to me. It takes out all of the things I’ve done. I made this money online. I made this child. I found this great wife. It takes all that out. This worker drone has been assigned a little worker drone to bring into a big worker drone. This worker drone has been assigned a location to live in. This worker drone has been assigned work to do online. This worker drone has been connected to other worker drones. Yhis worker drone is known as Jerry Banfield so it can be designated when it’s needed to do certain tasks.
It’s funny that as you look more into yourself you don’t have a name. Before you were born, you didn’t have a name. You accepted a name, you’re nameless. When you die, your name is gone, before you were born you don’t have a name. Why is it you have a name right this moment? If you go somewhere people don’t know you, you don’t have a name to those people. When you’re just watching online or doing something, you’re nameless and that’s a beautiful way of living a free state. When you can start to be liberated from that personal nature existence of this horrible illusion that somehow everything is so personal.
On one level it is personal. On one level it is you with life and it’s all one, it’s all united. You could say you are creating your own reality right now. You are creating the matrix of your life. You are creating this reality all around you. You’re not separate from it. I like to create a reality where everything’s peaceful and I’m here to be of service. Especially getting to know more people that are in their 60’s and 70’s, that service mindset is so clear. Why do they deal with so much sickness and all these frustrating and shameful and hurtful and painful problems? It’s because they hope to pass on some of their wisdom to people my age and younger. I hope I have a chance to pass on some of what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that life is worth living without the idea that it’s all about me and trying to create a false sense of self out of what I remember.
It’s interesting when you talk to people and there’s a lot of excitement about what might happen in the future. There is all this excitement about what happened in the past and yet everything is right here, right now. These are all just ideas in the past. If you look at it as a worker drone. The worker drone has work that needs to be done now. The worker drone doesn’t need to know what needs to happen in the future and he doesn’t need to know what happened in the past unless it’s relevant to what he’s doing now. The worker drone need not worry about the future because the collective will take care of it, but it needs to be taken care of. Some worker drones are thrown into the fire. Some worker drones are stepped on and squished and fall into the swimming pool and drown. It’s no big deal because there are more. A lot more. It’s a beautiful thing to not take life personally because then it’s scary. There’s nothing you could lose.
If you get squashed and stepped on, it’s fine. Just try out another new body. I look at my daughter and I wonder what did she experience before this. I don’t remember being born so it’s possible I don’t remember dying either. I already went through birth and death lots of times and I don’t even remember them. I don’t remember my own birth. While there could be a lot of other things I experienced that I don’t remember. That makes now sacred. Now is all we have.
The future is a place where this now isn’t around anymore. Looking at it from the worker drone point of view, you get stepped on, it’s fine, you just re-spawn like a video game. You get a brand new unit. I look at my daughter and she has a 2015 worker drone model. That’s a beautiful thing.
Thinking about it like that takes the fear out of things. What happens when we’re born? Life goes on, it always goes on. When you’re not invested in your story, that doesn’t mean you ignore them. I’m invested. I love my family and friends and I love you.
I’m making this because it feels like the right work to do now because maybe this is useful for you. Maybe it’s useful for you in picking up a new idea. Maybe it’s useful for you somehow because I can see if you look into the past, a time where another worker is watching this. I could be watching through your eyes and I don’t remember making this.
I was thinking the other night and there was lightning far away and I thought if I get struck by lightning and this body dies, I hope I watch some of my videos in the next life so that I remember and I can wake up out of the insanity. I can wake up out of that separation of self.
You are not alone. None of us can ever be along but you can feel lost and alone. I’m here to tell you you’re not alone because we’re all here. There’s one voice all of us together, we’re all one. We are all completely enough. We all get to play around in one worker drone or another. We are here to enjoy being alive and to learn what there is to learn today and to do this work that there is to do today.
I use this to pray today. I pray to not take the idea of who I am too seriously. I pray today to feel like I am not alone because I’m just one worker drone, I can never be alone. I am just one worker drone out of the collective. When I know that then I participate with the collective. It’s important to any worker drone to be connected with the other worker drones so it can be useful. The collective can give it an individual assignment. If it’s connected it can’t be useful. If it’s disconnected it can’t receive it’s orders like a soldier. I pray today that you have the same opportunity to feel connected to all your fellow human beings who are all just another version of you, of me, or the one life that we all are together.