How do we deal with the fear that comes as a result of a little bit of success or how do we plan and look ahead a bit when we are trying to accomplish something and avoid some of the worst pitfalls?
Welcome to day #203 of Happier People Podcast here with me, Jerry Banfield.
Preparing for Success at The Next Level and Overcoming Fear of Loss #203
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Some of the worst things that have happened to me online have happened right after things went well. That means, on Udemy, for example, after a year and a half of sales totaling over $600,000, then all of a sudden they banned me.
On Steem after getting into the top 20 witnesses within a month, a huge number of the votes all of a sudden disappearing after posting one video that a few people didn’t like.
I’ve been live-streaming games on my Facebook page, which is Facebook.com/jBanfield, and today was my first, what you might call a really successful stream that I’ve had in years. I’ve gotten hundreds of comments, seventeen thousand views mostly while it was live, fifty-nine shares on the stream, and hundreds of likes.
Twenty-nine thousand people watched and a crazy thing happened right afterwards. People donated about eight dollars during the live stream, which is incredible because I was live for two hours and in my mind I’m thinking, “It’s Monday morning. No one’s going to care about me playing Call of Duty on a Monday morning.”
I watched three hours of videos to get ready for it.
After I finished the stream, this wave of fear and anxiety just hit me and I’m thinking, “Oh, my God. Things went really well. I’ve got something to lose now. What if things stop going well? What if I violate a policy sometime in the future? Can I lose everything? Is this really going to work out? This is crazy.”
I experienced this overwhelming fear. Even still, my stomach, my body is kind of just like scared of like the other shoe dropping, of having that bad thing happens, that ban or that problem, and what a lot of us don’t expect is this reaction after getting what we want.
We hustle, we try to get to the next level, we work so hard, and then when we get there, often we are not prepared for it and often a lot of the things we did to hustle and get to that next level end up costing us once we get to that next level.
What I’ve learned and what I’m applying on Facebook is that I want to follow every single policy absolutely to perfect detail. I’m reading the policies. Things like fear and anxiety can be good to direct us into what to do next.
When that fear came up I said, “Look, I’m going to get out and help other people for this. What call-to-action is there for me?”
Read the policies.
Make sure every little detail of what I’m doing is within policies.
Make sure anything I might plan I know the policies, and therefore, there can’t be any potential conflict.
Make sure that anyone I’m playing with understands the policies and is willing to abide by them, especially for things like being on the chat for games, and to understand that everything will be lost in the long term.
Let’s say everything goes really well with my Facebook stream. I’m a huge big-time gamer. I’m making millions of dollars. Anything silly you can imagine.
Then, I die.
Whether it’s in five years, a hundred years, who cares?
It will all be completely wiped out and lost in the end. There is nothing I can do or create in this world that will truly endure, even raising my children. Even, they will be completely wiped out and lost so completely, it will be as if they don’t exist or never existed.
I can remember so much about my father. I remember a lot less about my grandfather. My great-grandfather, I barely know some stories. Another generation back and it is almost as if they didn’t exist at all, even though the butterfly effect dictates everything that happens is a reflection of them today.
I don’t hardly know anything at all about the people not that far back in my ancestry and this body shares the same fate as all the rest. Therefore, in the big picture there is nothing to truly be afraid of, and yes, the fear is based in reality.
Whatever little fantasy world I’m building online will be lost one way or another. I’m imagining with all that I’ve learned, it will take a bit longer than my little Udemy empire, which got wiped out after just two and a half years in existence before making a fraction of the total possible income.
My little Steem empire, which I kind of surrendered most of that, after just seeing that I could be more effective in carrying my message somewhere else.
It seems like right now, on Facebook, that this is a place where I’m having the most effective time reaching my audience, and then communicating my message of love, hope and service, and that’s making it tricky to decide what I do.
Because even this, filming this video is taking away from time I could be live streaming. Therefore, I’m making live streaming a priority on Facebook going forward. That means there will be fewer blog updates. Some of the blog updates will probably be made during gaming videos and I’m taking a leap of faith on it.
It is scary sometimes to take a leap of faith because that means you are vulnerable. Whereas when I’m in a diversified state right now, losing any one thing, in particular, isn’t a big deal so much because I’ve got income coming in from lots of different directions.
There is no one source that’s bringing in — Well, the sales from my Steem right now are bringing in the majority, but I imagine that will dry up at some point. It has gone down a lot from when I started.
“Nothing lasts forever. I’ll always remember those nights we spent together. Wherever, wherever you are.”
I would be really impressed if you know what song that is. I would love if you know what song that is, drop it in the comments on YouTube.
The idea is if I look ahead and I see that when I get something I want to, it often has a lot of conditions that come with it. What I hope this is showing is that it’s better to have peace where you are at today because this came sooner than I thought it would.
There are hundreds of people watching this whole live stream. This came sooner than I thought it would. A lot of my streams, there have been 10 or 20 people watching and this one is just blowing up. If you look at some of these streams, you can see the engagement on this stream.
Shout out to all of my haters that say how bad my engagement is all the time. You are not really a hater. You are a lover. You are just speaking in a language we usually call haters, but I love you anyway.
If you look, this post is blowing up on engagement, this one is getting a ton of live viewers and the one before got really good engagement as well. Some of my other posts got lots of great engagement.
This one really sent home like, “Look, you’re in the middle of what you’re striving for, so to speak,” and to realize that if I am to receive something I need to prepare to receive it. A lot of my life I thought that I needed to hustle and struggle and go get what I wanted.
I didn’t realize that all I needed to do was to prepare to receive what I wanted and imagine receiving it, and it would come.
Now, that doesn’t mean in the case of like dating that I just sit at home and don’t do anything and imagine my wife coming along. It might mean going to the gym, working out, exercising, eating healthy. All those things to prepare to receive.
For me, that’s what I’m doing with my live streaming and that means if you are a top-level streamer on Facebook, you need to know the policies that Facebook has for live streams. My God! There is a bunch of them.
Do you know you can’t ask for likes or follows or shares anywhere in the description?
I did not know that.
It’s a good thing for me to know so I don’t do that. I haven’t been doing that, but that’s one of those things that could come up as a good idea and all of a sudden I’ve violated a policy.
These Facebook live-streaming policies I’m subject to make it look like Udemy’s policies were really easy by comparison, and yet I got the big B-A-N email from Udemy.
“Your account has been… Final suspension.”
Even though I didn’t have any strikes and the policy violations they cited seemed really sketchy and maybe not have even existed in most people’s world, and yet that doesn’t matter. If you are using someone else’s website it is like being in someone else’s house. You are subject to their rules and if they don’t want you, they can kick you out for any reason, even a stupid one.
What’s scary is to invest in something like I’m live streaming on Facebook now and I’m cutting out other parts of my business to make room for this. It is scary because then if anything goes wrong with Facebook when I put so much into it. I know how much it sucks when you put so much into something like Udemy. I uploaded three thousand plus videos to Udemy and got them all annihilated in one little email.
Brutal, and yet here I am, still balling like Tupac, except that he died like 12 years ago. Still balling till the day I die. So, I guess I get to go ball somewhere else after I die, right?
That was a little bit of a tangent and that’s fine.
I hope this episode of Happier People Podcast is helpful for you because these are things I’ve never heard talked about before. I’ve heard a lot about hustling, getting out there, struggling, take what’s yours, advertise, push harder and push harder.
No, don’t push harder. Don’t do all that other stuff. Prepare to receive what you imagine you would like to have and love yourself, love everyone else, be grateful for everything you have and you will get whatever you want.
That’s how I look at it and that’s what keeps happening to me in my life, and even if something bad happens, I wouldn’t be live-streaming gaming videos if I was still on Udemy. I would probably have a hundred and ninety courses on Udemy by now and be making a hundred thousand dollars a month. I would have gotten into a whole bunch of other stuff and who knows what I would be doing.
A lot of the bad things, the things that we say are bad that happens to us can be really good learning experiences. I’m grateful now for the learning opportunity with Udemy to look at things and to try to make the best relationship I can with Facebook, to keep everything I do within the policies and to have faith and courage to go forward again.
I see people getting into things like dating and they failed and they failed, they failed and they failed, they failed and they just won’t try anymore.
I’m grateful today, I keep trying even though I’ve lost and I’ve lost really hard in my business online lots of different times. I realize there are ways I could lose even harder, and yet I have the courage to keep trying today, to just keep making the effort, and I have the courage to even imagine being what you might call successful and having a bunch of people watch my streams, even though I know all of the challenges that can bring along so very well.
Now, I appreciate you getting all the way to the end of this. If you find anything helpful in this, would you please leave a like on the YouTube video because you will help make me famous?
I mean you will feel good about helping give back.
I made this video and if you give me a like that’s great.
If you don’t, that’s fine. I still love you. I will still make videos.
Most people don’t leave likes and that’s fine.
My daughter watches a ton of videos on YouTube and she never leaves a like on them. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy them.
Alright, here we go.
We are going to talk for another hour after this.
I will be online for hours and hours.
If you love listening to me talk, will you please follow my Facebook page because if you are in love with my voice, you can get a whole lot of it on those gaming live streams?
Edits from video transcript by Michel Gerard at www.michelgerardonline.com.