How to Stop Projecting Your Feelings Onto Others

Whatever I think of other people is always what I’m thinking, feeling, and acting myself. This is a huge shortcut that produces miracles in my life which is why I’m sharing it with you. I want you to have the chance to have the same result in your life that I have with this in my life.

When I’m judging other people, I’m projecting my inner reality out on other people. For example, if I call another driver stupid for driving slow, I feel stupid inside. I’ve projected that onto the other driver. If I wasn’t feeling stupid on the inside I would understand why that driver was going so slow. I would understand that they could be afraid, lost, or a new driver. They could’ve been distracted or sending a text message or on the phone. If I wasn’t being stupid, I wouldn’t see stupidity in another driver.

This is helpful for me today and it helps me to get though the negative frames of mind that come along each day. For example, when I see another player on Call of Duty that I think is being a jerk, it really comes back to me. If they’re on the other team and they’re kicking my butt, there’s a lot I could learn there. If I’m thinking they’re trying too hard, it’s because I’m trying hard and I’m not getting a good result. I’m frustrated someone else is doing the same thing I’m doing and getting a better result out of it. It comes down to the fact that my inner reality is always projected onto other people.

This helped me a ton at my wife’s family’s house. I thought they were selfish because they wouldn’t drive 45 minutes to spend Christmas with us. We go up there all the time and I have family visiting as well, which doesn’t happen that often. As I was thinking that, I remembered what I’m telling you in this post right now.

I was upset and didn’t say anything to anyone. This is just how I was feeling. I was really frustrated and I was raging inside. At the same time, I knew if I’m feeling like they are selfish then the truth is I’m the one being selfish. On top of all my rage I thought that’s even stupider because obviously I’m not being selfish. I knew deep down, the truth was that I was being selfish and I just couldn’t see how it was happening.

Along with the thought I’m sharing with you, another thought came to me based on what I’ve already said. If I knew what I needed to know, then I wouldn’t be being selfish. Instead, I would understand exactly why they were doing what they were doing. To be in the middle of the frustration and to see that same time to me, that’s a miracle.  I never thought that maybe there was something inside I should know about. Maybe I was projecting my inner world out on everyone else and everyone else was just fine.

Now, I’ll tell you what happened next. At first, I realized the thoughts I shared and while I was in the frustration I didn’t do anything about it. I prayed for help and took a nap because I was just consumed in it. I know that if I don’t make things worse, they will get better. When we got in the car to drive back home, what I needed to know hit me. I realized that I was being selfish. Weeks ago, I requested that my wife not take our daughter to visit her family because my family was visiting. She should stay down here and make her family come down here.

I had done what I thought was best without regard to what anyone else needed. My wife and her family had patiently went along with that. I could see that everyone was waiting for me to see I was being selfish. They gave me space  to make the invitation that maybe we should drive up there.

I got an immense wave of happiness at the same time because of that miracle that I just saw.

I saw that what I was thinking of other people was actually going on inside of me. I accepted that and waited until I figured out what I needed to know. I could see the practical solution was for me and my family to go up and spend Christmas with my wife’s family. Then I could see how patient they’ve been with me and I was just in awe. I got an immediate exit from the way I was feeling before.

In 15 years since being a teenager, I had frequently experienced things like that now. That’s why I share them with you so you can have the chance too. In the middle of frustration to know that you won’t always feel that way forever and to have a “cheat sheet”.

I know that I can’t honestly see  what’s going on inside me, but I can always see how I’m judging other people. My internal state exists already, but when I  project it out I can immediately see what the source is. If you’re on a journey or looking for God, your judgments on the world provide the way back. As soon as you throw that judgment out, you’ve got a way back.You can ask why you’re feeling that way inside. You can ask for help if you’re feeling stupid inside and the help will come.

I pray to remember that every judgment I lay down is a reflection of how I’m feeling inside. I pray to remember that seeing that judgment shows me what I’m feeling inside. I pray that in sharing this with you, you have the opportunity to have a way out through any of your judgments. Thank you so much for spending this time with me and I hope you have a great day today