When we understand, it is not possible to be angry. A few weeks ago I was experiencing anger, which used to be a normal part of my day and now is unusual. My mind grinded for hours back and forth between praying for understanding and thinking of the most hurtful judgments I could speak to the subject of my anger.


I went to bed with the resentment on my mind and I awoke at 3 a.m. with a brief moment of peace before remembering my anger. I prayed for it to please end after more thoughts of why the person was not good enough.

Finally, after hours of imagining “what I would say to them,” as I lay in bed, I heard a small voice I imagined to be from the person I was angry at saying, “Do you want to hear what I would say to you?”


I listened for about 5 minutes as in my mind I heard what the person I was angry at would tell me. They explained that they were doing their best and they addressed all the reasons I was angry at them. I was shocked at what they would say and when it was over, I understood why they acted as they did.

The person I was angry at today has no idea any of this happened because I never said any to them about it because my anger with them truly had nothing to do with them. With understanding, anger is instantly gone because we know why.

There is nothing to be angry about when we really understand another because we see they were doing their best based on everything else going on in their life. We often see that how they acted was even better than should have been expected.

I have had this experience many times over the last several years. One night after putting my daughter to bed I was in a rage at my father who had passed away for how he had raised me.

“How could you be so mean to me growing up? How could you hit me and yell at me so much and raise me in a house where I was afraid of you every day?”

As I lay on the couch crying with everyone else in bed and no one alive to direct my anger at, I heard a little voice ask, “Do you want to see my life?”

I knew this was an invitation to understand my father and YES I did want to know!

For about ten minutes I saw vision after vision of his life and when it was over I was no longer angry. I saw that how he raised me was a miracle when considering all of his life.

In fact, I was amazed he did so well with me as a parent and I am grateful he showed me how to improve myself including what not to do as a parent.

I still feel so much love for my father despite him being gone for four years and I am free of any anger towards him.

When I see someone angry today, I have a peace about it because I realize all they need to do for the anger to pass is pray to understand and be open to receiving the message.

This is why playing video games rarely leads me to anger because I understand everyone I am playing with wants to have fun and win the game just like I do.

When the opponent makes a good play, it is to be celebrated rather than cursed. When I make a great play, I understand that the other person allowed me to do so and I am grateful for that!

Last words

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Edited from the Facebook description and posted by Michel Gerard at