It takes a lot of time and energy to try to control other people. Today I use that time and energy to do my best with what I can do. I was inspired to talk about it based on the people in my League of Legends chat. The people in the game are spending lots of time trying to tell each other what to do.
Some of these may be relevant suggestions. Some of these may be helpful. I trust my teammates to know the game and do what’s best. It costs me a lot of time and energy to not trust my teammates. If I don’t trust my teammates then I need to go in and start telling them what to do. I need to start telling them what characters to use. It gets to be easy to get into fear that way. I found I experienced the feelings of fear that came up that we won’t win or we won’t have a tank based on their fears.
I’m afraid that we won’t win and the game hasn’t even started yet. I’ve learned that if I trust that everyone else is doing what they’re supposed to then I get better results. I was playing a game with my friend last time and this was really highlighted by what went on in the game. To be fair, I was sicker than all my friends. I was always for the first 5 – 6 years of our relationships. I was the one running around trying to tell everyone else what to do and trying to control the game. That left no time for me to try to do anything myself. Today, I’m lucky. I have this peace about doing the best with my character paying attention to what’s going on in any game. If I’m playing my own character, I can play a lot better. If I’m playing Call of Duty with my friend, it’s a lot better.
Here’s what happened:
Another character in the game got wrecked several times by their opponent. All of the sudden our team starts picking this fear up. They started to fear losing the game. Meanwhile, my friend and I are playing down bottom and it was an even game for us. It was an even match. He started getting upset and started screaming on the chat about how they were ruining it for us. This one teammate was playing badly and messing things up. Then a minute later, both of us go in and we end up getting our butt kicked. We ended up doing that which he expressed initial frustration over. I found that when I shout at other people what to do, it’s because I’m not sure that I’m doing well enough. After we died, both of us got slaughtered.
He took the time to hit enter and chat to the teammate. He let the teammate know exactly how he was feeling. From there, things got worse. The guy that he has talked to started responding back and the whole team imploded.
What happens when I’m playing now? When I’m playing a game, I’m pretty peaceful. I try to watch the map and I also try to pay attention to what my character’s doing. I try to play my character to the best of my ability. I have a certain peace of mind that if I do my best, that will be our best chance of winning. If I play the best I can and we don’t win then I did everything I could. There’s also nothing for me to feel bad about in that scenario.
If my teammates throw the game, what is there that I can feel bad about? There’s nothing for me to feel bad about if my teammates throw the game because they did it, it wasn’t me. When I feel like I’m doing enough, I also tend to project that out to my teammates, too. For example, a teammate last time said he was upset. He shared with me that he was upset and I shared that I was peaceful.
When you feel like you’re doing enough, your team will absorb that in little things you’re doing. When you don’t feel like you’re doing enough, then everyone else will get that same feeling. They then feel like they’re not doing enough and fear comes in. They start to fear what’s going to happen if we’re playing Call of Duty or League of Legends, what is there to be afraid of?
I’m doing my best to try to play the game and that’s enough. I don’t have to do much to validate my effort and if we have a teammate that dies early on, it doesn’t affect me. I can be okay with how I’m doing today.
I’m grateful that I’ve learned this today. I used to be the worst rager and the worst screamer. I would curse out everyone on the other team fast and if you messed up, I was going to let you know it. Today, I’m not even sure how I got to be the one who’s peaceful now. I’m not sure how I got to be the one that’s cool if I don’t play well. I’m not a professional at this game. I’m not a professional at Call of Duty. Even when I do my courses that I teach online on Udemy, I often get critiqued. People give me a hard time about how I’ve formed in that regard.
People will comment on the things I’ve created and they’d get upset with me. You could say that scenario, I’m a professional and I’m actually working. I am doing what I get paid to do in that scenario. You could say that I’m in even better position to get upset. I’m in a position to really take things seriously then. To me, taking things seriously turns out not to be a lot of fun. I don’t put my heart and soul into my work. I’m putting my heart and soul into this league of legends thing here. It doesn’t do me well to get upset about it or to dictate the terms of how the game ought to go. When I end up doing that, things don’t turn out well. I try to accept that I’m not going to make perfect videos all the time. Sometimes my videos aren’t going to be good and that’s okay.
Today, I pray to be okay with whatever is going on around me in life and play my character in the game of life. I pray that I don’t blame other people for what’s going on. I pray today that I get to have fun playing my character. I get to see more detail when I get to play my character without trying to play everyone else’s character, too. I pray that you get the same opportunity to enjoy everything you’re doing and to have fun playing your character. Thank you for reading this, I hope you have a great day.