Do you notice when you’re doing something better than you used to? We focus so much in our lives on what we’re doing wrong and what we need to improve. I know for me it’s often difficult to see when I’m improving and when I did something today better than what I used to do.
I see today it’s important that I notice when I’m improving. If I don’t notice I’m improving, then I feel like I’m not doing anything better. If I focus all the time on what I’m doing wrong, then I feel hurt. I feel suffering. I feel pain and I don’t notice all the things I’m improving. Today I’m grateful I can see when I’m doing something better than I used to in the past.
Here’s an example of something that happened today. I used Camtasia 2 for screen capture on Mac. To preface, I live a nice life. I’m used to things working. One of my hot button issues most of my life has been when technology doesn’t work. Depending on where you live, that might be funny if you’re used to your technology not working. I’m grateful here I’m used to technology working most of the time.
A couple years ago, I couldn’t sign into this website and my wife and I couldn’t watch The Sopranos and I flipped out. I screamed and pounded on the table. I got so mad because the technology wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t sign in no matter how much I wanted to do it because of a simple technology error. It did sign in the night before and it signed in the night after. It was just a random error and it couldn’t be overcome that night. My wife was freaked out because I acted crazy and like a lunatic.
Little technology issues like that push my buttons. Have you ever written a word document and you accidentally closed the page and lost the whole thing? You spent an hour on it and you just lost it. For me, when things like that happened, I would just flip. I would just lose it and I would get so mad, cursing, screaming, and pounding the table. I would lose it and I have broken several pieces of technology doing that. I’ve even hurt my back before playing a video game. I jumped up out of the chair. I went one way with the chair and my back went the other way and my back hurt for months because of getting frustrated. That’s how I behaved for most of my adult life. My short circuit was technology. I could deal with people, but when it comes to technology, I just lost it. I heard someone the other day ask “have you yelled at your device today?” That was me.
Now, I’m living a better spiritual practiced, patient life each day. Today I was using Camtasia 2 to record my computer screen and make most of my courses online. I was filming a new lecture for my Facebook Ads course on Udemy. Camtasia 2 is usually reliable and works well. Yesterday it made a new video just fine with no problem. Today, assuming it would work, I started it and went to work making the lecture. It took about 15 minutes or so to record the lecture. When I hit stop and it went to the editing interface, all I saw was a black image and my face right here. The whole screen had not recorded for 15 minutes. Under any other circumstance in my life, that was a flip out trigger. I would just lose it and going crazy because one of my pet peeves is having to do the same work over again. Even as much as a year ago or less, I would get mad if something like that happened.
Over the last year and a half, I’ve learned that it’s better to be angry in my head than to express it by flipping out. Today was amazing. I actually approached it with more curiosity than anything else. I wondered what went wrong and the negative energy didn’t come out. Instead of thinking about re-filming the lecture, I looked deeper into the problem and learned more about it. I tried another quick 10 second video and got the same error. There’s some new problem now and the next step I took was to see if anyone else has the same problem.
I looked online and there was a one star review from someone just like me who lost it on the Camtasia 2 app store. Based on the review, I learned that the Camtasia 2 app was not compatible with the new Mac update and they haven’t released a new version yet. The software is not working right now, but it will be working in the future. Given that knowledge I wondered how I could work around this issue.
At any other point in my life I would’ve flipped out and gotten so mad. Inside I would’ve had negative energy and frustration building about how stupid the software builders were or how stupid Apple was for doing an update. Today, I just tried to figure out how to get what I needed accomplished.
What I need is to be able to do a screen capture for my courses. I found another program for $49 that I already used on Windows and checked out another screen capture program I already had. I just recorded the lectures using that program and it was no big deal. In fact, I was excited to film the lectures tonight because I wouldn’t have had enough time to film them before.
Instead of being mad and pissed off, I had a meeting to go to, I was grateful. I said thank you because it was a good time for this issue to come up. It was a good time for this error to come out because I had time to reload get it fixed and come up with something else. For me to just notice that is a miracle. My wife is sensitive and she said that she didn’t notice any hidden resentment. She notices when I ‘m having a hard time. I don’t have to say anything, she can feel how I’m feeling and she didn’t feel any of that. To me, that’s just a miracle to notice that little improvement. I know that I’m doing a little bit better.
I’m acting like a grown up now and that to me is a miracle. Just to notice that I did that situation a lot better than I’ve done most of my life. To look at it and see that I’ve been given the tools to make some improvement in my life and I can see that improvement on a daily basis. I can see that I’m doing better. I can see the rewards and trying to take care of myself. It’s a miracle to see when I’ve actually made improvement. How many times in your life do you realize you don’t get better at what you’re doing? It’s like dating. You don’t even realize you’re starting to be a better person to date. In work, you don’t realize you starting to be a better worker. It’s amazing to have some humility and do your best. It’s nice to do a little bit better than I used to do before. I share that with you today with the hope that when you are doing a little bit better, you can praise yourself.
If you asked God for help and you see that help in your life, say thank you God for making me a better person. If other people have helped you, you can say thank you to those people for helping you handle the situation. I told my wife about it and she was happy because she reminded me about the flip out I had when HBO Go didn’t log in. She said it was amazing that I could have such a huge change in just two years.
I pray today that I keep my eye out for that amazing change in my life. That amazing change is so subtle sometimes that it requires me to use my memory to see how I’ve improved. I pray today to remember my past to use it to find how I’m doing today in a positive light. I pray to o remember how sick, frustrated, and angry I’ve been in previous periods in my life. I look at that as a blessing that that’s not how I’m being today. I bow my head and be thankful that’s not what’s going on today. I pray that in sharing this with you that you have the exact same opportunity today. You have the chance to notice the little miracles in your life. The little changes that you might not have noticed your path to it. You can be grateful and not egotistical. Thank you. I’m honored you spent this time with me. I’m grateful for your feedback. I go through and look for your feedback. The things you take the time to share with me make a difference in my life. I’m grateful for that and I encourage you to open your heart to me and I will try and share that with you. Thank you and I hope you have a great day today.