When you run a marathon, you take around 33,000 steps. When you start looking for love, consider that you are beginning a marathon with the same number of steps. When I was a teenager, I always wanted to rush straight to where I am now. I did not want to start looking for love. I wanted to just find it right away. How would you ever run a marathon or even a hundred yards without taking each step?
What is the first step to start looking for love?
Defining a clear vision of how you want to feel when you are with the love of your life. From as early as I can remember, when I went to bed I used to fantasize that I had the love of my life there with me. Without realizing it, I already had a great start looking for love as early as first grade. I knew exactly how I should feel when I was with the right person. More than likely you have already taken this step and many more. What is important about this step is always remembering this feeling. You are not with the right person unless you feel when you are with them how you imagined you would feel with the love of your life. Start looking for love now before it is too late!
Can you start looking for love if you are already in a relationship?
How do you tell if that feeling is really there or not in the relationship you have? I wrote this post more recently about how to verify if you are dating the right person which might help a lot with this question. There are two simple ways to diagnose how you feel about the person you are with. Think of the first time you saw them in person when you knew you might date them. How did you feel? For me, the first word that comes to mind for most of my relationships that failed is disappointment. She did not look good enough or she did not have confidence or she was a disaster or she was too fat or she had a stupid look on her face. I asked one of my friends that is planning to marry and have kids with the girl he is dating what he thought the first time he met his girlfriend. He said his first thought was that she was fatter than he had hoped and that her friend was a lot hotter. After telling me this, he did not like my suggestion that maybe that was the truth he was trying to bury underneath his desire to not be single.
The second way to tell if the person you are with is right for you is to think of your most recent memories together. When was the last date you went on and how did you feel? What was the last movie you saw together? How did you feel last time you kissed or made love? Now, simplify these answers into one question. Do you feel better, about the same, or not as excited about these recent memories compared to your first memories together? Most of my failed relationships got stale quickly. The sex got boring, our dates felt like a chore, the most recent kiss was going through the motions, and overall the original feelings we had together had grown stale. The passion was dead in every relationship I had before within a few months until I met my now wife. With her, our new memories kept getting better. Our first dates were amazing but the hundreds of dates we have had since then are all that good or better. I even cried at a movie we went to after being together for a year because I was so happy. The original vision I had as a kid of being with the perfect girl was now real. Now I will try to tell you how hard I worked to get there.
Are you ready to start looking for love?
I hope what I have written has helped just a little bit with your quest to start looking for love. Signing up for match.com was the largest single step since I had thought to actively start looking for love. If you want to get started meeting new people and make sure more people can see this post, sign up for match using this link now to get a three day free trial. When you do, Match will give me a few dollars as a thank you for generating your subscription and I will be able to put this post into more paid advertising. When I put this post into more paid ads, I can make sure people read this instead of the bad information I got when I needed help. If you want to chat with me about your situation, you can also schedule a Skype call here.