Why is it so hard to help myself and why is it so easy to see what everyone else can do to help themselves? I’m amazed at how much effort I need to go through just to work on one little problem about myself. I can tell you the solution to everyone else’s problems in a half second.
If someone comes to me and says their having a hard time in the relationship, I can give them advice very quickly. I could get similar advice for my own problems and I would make excuses for why I couldn’t take my own advice. That is what my problem was. I would not apply that same judgmental outlook on other people into solving my own problems. I would look at everyone else’s problems so I didn’t have to look at my own and I would say no to doing anything about my problems. I didn’t know that I could be a different person.
When people told me I should stop drinking so much I made excuses. I didn’t know who was I if I didn’t drink. What do I do? Why is it when you look at someone else’s problems, you are so sure you understand their problem better than they do. You have a friend come to you and they had a hard time at work and they are complaining about their boss. You can easily see the solution – quit and get another job.
Then the person says they cannot quit and get another job because they need the money. You can see that you can use that power on yourself and it can make your life better if you use it on yourself. I’m grateful that I finally admitted that I had one little problem. Everyone in my life had told me about it and everyone in my life could see the solution to it. Everyone in my life knew I needed to not drink. I wouldn’t listen to anyone because I didn’t know who I was and I didn’t know what to do. There was so much uncertainty.
If I tried a new way of living and admitted I was wrong and I didn’t know what I was doing, then what happens after that? I was so scared to see what happened after that because I went into this unknown. I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I do, I don’t know exactly what I like and don’t like. I don’t know what I’m capable of. It’s scary to enter that great unknown and now I can be free to actually do what I need to.
I’m free to stop eating so much to lose some weight. I can do that now. I am free to not do so much. I can lose some weight if I want to. I have lost 30 pounds in the last year and a half. I monitor what I eat now. I can do the work to live life so I don’t need to numb the pain of life now. If you can see that you can solve everyone else’s problems then you can see what opportunities there are for you. Look the same way you look at other people at yourself. Accept that if you actually go solve your problems, you don’t know what’s going to happen after that.
There’s this predictable misery that comes with knowing who you are and what you have. That’s the real barrier when you look at people and you say this is a bad relationship for you and you should just leave it alone. The barrier is that they don’t know who they are anymore without that relationship.
Going into the unknown world of being single again, you don’t know where you’re going to live and what you’re going to do. If you can see that that’s why it’s hard for other people to take advice, you can see that in yourself too. When you have a problem and you ask someone what you should do about it, you can see the resistance that comes up.
When you have a problem with a relationship family, friend, or work you ask someone else what you should do about it. You’ll see the fear of not taking some predictable response come up. For example, quitting a job is difficult. People will work a job for their whole life because they’re afraid of what will happen without that job. They are willing to sit there and take the same misery every day than to go into the unknown.
It’s uncomfortable to go into that unknown and yet it’s amazing. I went into that unknown last year and I was somewhat forced there. I had to make the choice to go there and say if I don’t serve clients, I don’t know what I’m going to do anymore. I can’t keep running my business they way I’ve been running it, I don’t know what I’m going to do anymore. I don’t know what the right thing to do is, I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how I can help people. I don’t know how I can make money. I don’t know if I’ll have money.
It’s amazing to see what you can do if you’re willing to open up and listen. I’ve been trying to listen as much as I can to everyone and see how everyone in my life is right. I want to see how they’re right and what they’re doing that’s working. I want to see the little habits people have that help. I want to see how and why it helps them. It’s an amazing way of living today. It all starts by being able to see how you can do better. It starts with seeing a different choice and facing that fear and saying I’m terrified of being someone new because I don’t know what to do anymore.
A car pulls out in front of me and I don’t flip them out and get so upset. If I just sit there and accept that that happened, who am I? You can see that the struggle is the reason why it’s so hard to take advice from other people and why it’s so easy to solve everyone else’s problems. and so hard to solve or even see any of my own. It’s an amazing thing to be able to see what potential there is for me to be who I’m needed to be right this moment. It’s amazing and I’m honored to share this journey with you.
I’m honored to have the chance to share this with you today because I didn’t know I was going to make this video about this today. I try to do my best to be of service and to be helpful and be useful each day. I’m not sure what that format will take today. I’m not sure if people will like it. I’m not sure what people will think. I try to do my best in this moment. I try to acknowledge when something is causing a problem. I try to look at it and see what kind of solution would solve it if I was looking from outside.
If someone on the street saw me all in a bad mood and depressed, what would they say? You should appreciate your life, you have a wonderful life. That’s the solution. It’s right there and it’s perfect. I should appreciate my life, shouldn’t I. Why am I not appreciating it? Because I want to be miserable. Why would I want to be miserable? I don’t have to be like that. It’s an amazing gift when you can look at all the advice people give you and see what is right in it. I am thankful for that.
I pray today that I keep an open mind about who I am and who I’ve been and who I can be. I pray that I’m willing to look at myself and see what can be done better and what’s already going well. The same as I would look at someone else and see what they are doing right and where they can improve. I can use that same objectivity on myself and not tie who I am and who I’ve been to who I must be so I can’t do anything new. I pray that you have the same opportunity today to enjoy life and be anything and do anything and to have an exit anytime you need one. Thank you for reading this and have a great day today.