Doing too much has ruined most of the good intentions I’ve had in my life. Today I practice doing just what I need to and not try to take on everything.
For example, the consistent drive to do more has ruined my workouts and going to the gym. I would always try to do more and more. When I got to the gym I would start with a 30 minute workout. Then within a few weeks, I would do a 40 minute or 50 minute workout. I would lift heavier weights, I would keep pushing up to higher levels on the elliptical. At one point I got up to workouts almost 2 hours long. Then I stopped working out completely.
That is what I did for most things in my life. I was doing too much and constantly felt like I wasn’t working hard enough and I should just quit. With dating, I was desperate to find a relationship back in 2008 and 2009. I was dating more than ever. You know what I didn’t find? A relationship. I was too consumed with dating and trying to do so much with getting the relationship. When I had opportunities to get the relationship I was bogged down with trying to date too many people. I was in a bad state of mind and I was frustrated that most of my dates hadn’t went well. It was hard to see the dates that did go well in the middle of all the dates that didn’t go well.
Same things happened with work. Most of having my business online, I always wanted to more. I have to make more money, I have to get more customers. I have to get more clients. I have to start branching out into new things all the time. I felt what I was doing in the moment was only validated by what it might become. What happened? I got hundreds of new clients but it collapsed into not to doing anything well. Almost all the clients were frustrated with what I provided.
The constant drive to do more left me with nothing except a lot of frustration and broken down dreams. Now, I try to do just enough to keep doing that. With my workouts now, I have no intention to someday be a bodybuilder. I don’t needs to do more than exercise 30 minutes to an hour every day. It doesn’t need to be hard. Today I took a walk, yesterday I swam in the pool. Any exercise for 30 minutes is good enough. I ‘m not trying to be a body builder or get in super shape. I’m just trying to stay healthy enough as long as possible alongside my wife and family and everyone who needs me. That’s why I am exercising.
Doing too much lots of times is the worst thing I can do because that will turn into nothing at all. I will get crazy and try to push my workouts to the point where I do nothing at all. This month has been the most consistent work I’ve done in my life. Every single day, I’ve done at least 30 minutes of exercise. That’s been possible because I don’t try to push it. I do the minimum everyday and some days I will do a little bit more and do an hour instead of 30 minutes. It’s easy now because I’m comfortable. I know I can do my exercise every day and I know when I get started with it, I don’t have to get anywhere. All I have to do is show up, do it, and don’t get too hard. It doesn’t need to be hard, it just needs to be done.
The walk doesn’t need to be fast or a power walk. I burn 200 calories in 30 minutes but taking a nice slow walk with my wife, the baby, and the dogs. With these videos, it makes a big difference if I do 1 – 3 each day. It is the worst thing I can do to try to do 30 in one day. I have the ability, I could probably bang out 50 of these each day. They only take about 5 – 10 minutes each. I do what I need to do and I don’t push it because I would get so sick of it that I wouldn’t want to do anything for weeks.
I try to live a healthy life today by doing just enough. The trick is to have some pace and tolerance about it. The trick is to not think when I go to the gym, I need to lift heavier weights all the time. I don’t. If I lift the same weights for the rest of my life, that’s fine. I will keep a good healthy amount of muscle mass.
If I keep showing up, my body tends to get a little bit stronger just lifting the same weights on a regular basis. I’m not trying to be a body builder so that helps to focus on why I’m doing these things in my life. Same thing with video games, I try not to go overboard on my recreation.
The summary of this is to live life in balance. For me, I thought balance was trying to do as much as I could and juggle all of it together. When I mean to say is that saying no to things is one of the biggest things I’ve done to respect myself in the last year. Saying no, I don’t have time to teach a course with you right now or no. No, I’m not going to exercise 30 minutes today because I have enough other things to do. I say no to over-scheduling myself. I think a great day is one that has 1 – 2 things scheduled because then I have time to do what I need to when the time is right.
It’s easy to see how you can be lazy. I’ve been afraid of being lazy most of my life that I’ve been the opposite of lazy which is just as bad, if not worse. I’ve been the over-achiever. I always try to do too much all the time.
I’m no longer taking on more things than I can handle. That’s been a huge change with my business. I now have more work that I can ever do right now at my fingertips. That means I say no to every additional thing I get. People say we would love to have you consult with us. I say I don’t have time for that now.
I have a system set up for consulting that I do over the phone. If you don’t want to work within that system then I do not want to work with you. People ask me “will you teach this course with me”? If it’s not on the hot topic list, I’m not going to teach it with you because I already have enough courses I’m doing.
Same thing with money. It’s a beautiful thing that I have enough money today that I don’t need more. I don’t need to go over the top and try to do all these new things. I just do good work and ironically, by having that view of it, I’ve gotten more than ever but I’ve had that view before I got more. I had that view that all I need is enough money today. My mom says you can never have too much money. You can have too much money when money starts controlling your life and causing you problems – that’s too much money. I want to have enough of everything that I don’t ruin the rest of my life over any one thing. I want to be a good parent. I don’t want to make my entire life about parenting though where everywhere I go and everything I do is all about what kind of parent I am.
It’s the same thing about being a husband or being a friend. It’s doing this right here. It’s nice to be an ordinary human being and it’s nice to feel like I’m enough most of the time. It’s nice to recognize that shame feeling of you’re not enough. You’re not doing good enough. I made a second video for my Halo 5 game play and I did too much. I stayed up about an hour too late which was significant. I did too much and I felt that “not enough” shame trigger.
The irony is that when you do too much you will continue to feel like you’re not enough and you will continue to do too much. It’s ridiculous. The more you do, the more you feel like you’re not enough and the more you need to keep doing it. At some point, you just say screw it. I’m not going to do anything anymore for anyone.
Today, I pray to do just what I need to and nothing else. I pray to make my videos just as long as they need to be and not any longer. I pray to feel like I’m enough so the things I do are not poisoned with the shame of not being enough. I hope when I feel the shame that I’m not being enough, I sit there, look at it and move on. I pray that you have the same opportunity today to evaluate how much you’re doing and how much you can handle. What’s your limit in what you can do? I’m honored you’ve read this. Thank you and I hope you have a great day today.