Why do I only play videogames while I’m live-streaming on Facebook, Twitch, Twitter, Mixer etc? I only play video games while I’m actually live-streaming because I have a purpose with my gaming. It is to carry a message of love, hope, and faith to others, especially as it was carried to me.
When I was in the depths of my alcoholism, unhealthy living, the depths of depression and frustration in my life, I often would play video games to try and escape to try and entertain myself. I’m very grateful that my friends helped carry some message of love, hope, and faith to me. I remember one night after telling my friend in more detail than I usually did about how I was living my life with my drinking, adult movie watching habits and my health. I am grateful my friend told me, “Man! You need God”. At the time that sounded pretty stupid. I’m like, I don’t see what God has to do for my life. Why I would need that and I don’t see that God is doing great things in your life either. I consistently felt safe talking to my friends and relating to gamers online about my life whereas I didn’t feel the same for many of the people I actually knew and I struggled to open up and to ask for help in real life.
Thus, I carry a message now. I’m grateful. I’m sober for 5 years. I’ve lost over 70 pounds. I’m feeling the best that I’ve maybe ever felt in this body. I love it. I love myself. I love the people around me. I consistently talk with people about everything going on with me today and I try and carry that energy out there to other gamers. Especially, the gamers who are really isolated, who are living either alone or with their family but not talking much to their family, who have a lot of issues with alcohol and drugs, who have obsessive behaviors like playing video games 12 hours a day and then watching video games when they’re not playing or while they’re playing. I use the opportunity and the skill I have by playing video games to carry this message that, a happy peaceful balanced sober life of love, care, and concern for others is possible. I just carry it by being an example of it. I love having the chance to give someone an unexpected reaction on Steem.
I remember we were playing hardcore blackout one day and it was me and the teammate versus this last guy. He was shooting at me and I was shooting at him. Then I got him and I’m like, Yes thank you and he comes in the game chat after that. He can hear me for a few seconds as the games just ended. I’m like, yes thank you very much for helping me win that game and in this scenario, lots of people are used to hearing a lot of curse words. The f you, you suck, that’s BS and this guy’s just blown away. He was like, “whoa why are you thanking me”? I’m like, “Thank you I’m streaming and you helped me look good because you shot me a few times and made me work for a bit. You didn’t make it look too easy but at the same time you did end up losing the game and for letting me win. I feel great about it. So, thank you for that”. The guy was just so like, “Dude, no one’s ever thanked me before like playing a video game and being on the opposing side like that.”
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And I love the chance to thank my opponents for helping me look good on Steem and to praise. The people playing against me say, man, that was a really good move or dude that guy worked me. To not have it all be about me and giving excuses all the time like, oh it’s lagging that shouldn’t happen. Like to play with a powerful loving connected presence that reminds that, the other gamers are people just like me. To remember what the other gamers want. The other gamers want to win, want to have fun, want to look good the same as I do. To bring that kind of a presence and a mindset into gaming, that’s why I play video games.
Now, after almost 5 minutes in and I’ll tell you a little secret. I don’t really care that much about the games themselves if I wasn’t live-streaming. I doubt I would play any video games. I took a year and a half off of gaming after struggling a lot of times with obsessive-compulsive video gaming. In fact, I started my business based on video game addiction. Now, I did that because I didn’t want to address my alcohol addiction and that worked for a little while. Until then the alcohol addiction was unavoidable and caused so many problems. Then I tried to just isolate, well if I just played video games, play zombies, solo by myself in my bedroom and drink alone, I can’t hurt anyone. Then after the first few years of getting so blinded up playing a lot of video games which is common like, hey I can actually play better. Now I’m not drunk and I got really into playing Call of Duty Black Ops 3.
I often would miss opportunities to think about or help out with my family. I then wondered what my life would be like if I stopped playing video games which I had not done for an extended period since I got a Gameboy at 6 years old. I took a year and a half off gaming and I came back to gaming because it’s a great opportunity for me to carry a message. In an Alcoholics Anonymous, I go every day and we tried to carry this message to other alcoholics and the practice these principles in all our affairs. The opportunity I have to game and do live streaming gives me a unique chance to carry the message in a way that not a lot of other people are trying to do so to speak. I’m able to reach to other alcoholics and people who can relate that are drug addicts or just compulsive gamers or eaters. I’m able to reach so many of these gamers who are watching video games. I’m grateful.
I’ve seen for everyone that I’m reaching or every 10 that I’m reaching or maybe even 50 or a 100. There’s consistently 1 or 2 that will come on say, “Thank You, Jerry. I’m in the middle of my alcohol addiction. I’m really struggling with it and seeing your videos gives me some hope. That’s why I do my gaming. Thus, if I’m not gaming on Steem, there is no motivation for me to even play video games. Some of the people I play with will say, Hey do you want to play some games off Steem after I stopped my live stream? I’m like, no I want to go be with my family. I want to go make videos for my business. I want to go take time to make some music. I want to walk my dog. I want to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I want to read some books or watch a TV show. To me, a TV show is like a treat. I get to watch maybe 30 minutes or an hour every other day or so at most generally of TV shows. If I’ve played 2 hours of video games and I’ve carried the message then I’d much rather go do something else. Thus, I generally avoid playing any video games off Steem because it doesn’t mesh with the reason why I play video games and there are so many other things I’d rather do. I’m grateful for balanced life today and balance mean, once I’ve played enough video games to carry the message that day, I’m done and I’m off to doing something else.
Thank you very much for reading. I appreciate you reading the answer to this question in this much detail. I imagine you’ll love and enjoy more of the Jerry Banfield vlog style videos that I have on YouTube, the Jerry Banfield vlog playlist or my podcast videos at jerrybanfield.com/podcast. if you’d like to catch me live gaming, I trust you’ll follow on Facebook, Twitch, and Mixer. That’s the best way to make sure you are able to interact with me on gaming. I remember listening to Brene Brown with a hangover one day and her power of vulnerability book and being so inspired. That helped me take action to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and pray to God for help. if you are being reached and these messages are helpful for you, the best way to let me know is to come by on a live Steem. If you’d like to talk about things in detail with me, I offer a free 30-minute call to everyone on my website at jerrybanfield.com. 1 person 1 call per life. First-come-first-served. 1 free call a day. You can try and take a shot at the calendar. If you’re unable to get in because other people keep booking the calls, you can just purchase an hour with me and guarantee that you get a call scheduled at your convenience.
You’re awesome and thanks for making it to the end of this and I imagine I’ll see you again soon in another video, podcast episode, free call or live gaming Steem.