The only things that can offend me are the things that deep down I think are true about me. This makes my life a lot easier. I realize that if something offends me, it shows me an opportunity to improve.
I don’t get offended by things for no reason. I only get offended by things because somehow I believe it. Understanding that, I now have a cheat sheet to figure out everything I need to know about my defects. Once I know what I need to learn, then I’m able to rise above them. I don’t have to be a bad person that is easily offended.
I used to get offended a lot when someone said something bad about me that I thought it was true. I thought that what they were saying what bringing me out into the light. I thought that the shameful person I thought I was deep down was being exposed by someone’s criticism.
Then, I fought back. I fought to prove they were wrong. I remember things about integrity used to really get me going. People could say things that could even suggest that I wasn’t an honest person and I would react so much. That’s because I hadn’t forgiven the little lie I told when I was four years old stealing my mom’s perfume. I hadn’t forgiven that and I hadn’t forgiven all of the lies I’d told since then.
Since I forgave those lies, it doesn’t hurt my feelings when people call me a liar because I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think I’m being exposed in a way that indicates who I really am. I don’t feel the need to defend myself from an attack. I only see something that’s irrelevant to me and who I am and it doesn’t rise to a level where I fight back. It’s kind of hilarious and scary at the same time to see how transparent it is.
Almost any time any one is offended, it points back to some issue they have that they believe relates to who they are. When people get offended, I feel almost as if I’m looking deep into their private life. I know from my self experience, I don’t get offended at something unless it somehow relates to me. It can be tricky to figure out exactly how. In fact, it can be challenging sometimes to get to the bottom of how it offends me. Some things I’ve been offended by and I’m offended by myself over and over.
The more I think about it, I eventually see the connection. Then I’ll feel like this person reminds me of a family member that I have this resentment against. When this person comes out and acts a certain way, it reminds me that I’m having this issue with my mother.
Now, the more I see it, the easier things get. Once I see one thing like that, then I have the chance to address it. The way I used to live, I just went around frustrated all the time trying to defend myself. I was easily offended and putting up a fight every time to prove to other people that I wasn’t the person I felt like I was.
Now that I see this, my life is easy all the time and I don’t get offended often. One of the best examples of this was with driving. I used to get offended at what I thought of as bad driving. You’re such a bad driver. This person doesn’t deserve to be on the road. The more I look at it, I ask myself why does this person’s driving offends me. What is it about this person’s driving?
I realized that I’ve been a horrible driver most of my life. I’ve been rude and inconsiderate as a driver. I’ve done tons of selfish things as a driver. Additionally, I don’t forgive myself for it. I don’t see that I was doing my best and that’s all I could do and I don’t have to keep living that way. I don’t have to continue being a bad driver and that is a miracle because no one else needs me to drive the way I was before. I would drive them off the road for not driving how I thought they should drive. When anyone pulled out in front of me or pass me, I would lose it.
I could hide from other people most of the time. The things that other people did, I couldn’t hide from myself. When someone else was selfish with their driving, there was no way I could deny my bad driving to myself. This motivated me to be a better driver.
Last week, I saw a guy in a pickup truck that passed me going maybe 20 miles over the speed limit. Most of my life that was the exact scenario where I would lose it. I would get offended. I would go off on him. I have followed people around and got into crazy situations from someone else passing me. Now that I know the nature of my craziness a bit better, I don’t have to keep doing it.
As long as I thought everyone else was crazy and messed up, I never improved. I didn’t know how crazy I was. I kept being the same crazy miserable person and I kept blaming everyone else. Today, I don’t have to go through that anymore. I’m grateful that enough people shared this with me that I learned it.
I don’t have to continue that cycle of suffering when someone says something offensive. I rarely get into that today and it’s taken a lot of work. I have a lot of painful memories to look back and understand why I get offended in different situations. I spent days of wondering why certain things bother me. Today, I’m free of that.
I pray today to see that any time I’m offended, the only possible cause is something I don’t like about myself. I pray to be willing to look at whatever I think of as myself so I can get to know what exactly I believe about who I am. I pray to be free of these limiting beliefs and to see that I’m much more than whatever I believe about myself. I pray that this post gives you the opportunity to apply this in any situation where you get offended. Thank you for reading this. I hope you have a great day today.