Why did I quit gaming again in June 2019 and where do we go from here? I quit gaming recently because the passion had slipped away from it. It felt like a chore. It felt like I wasn’t doing anything that was really useful in my heart. Now that changed from a year ago. A year ago I was so excited about gaming after taking a year and a half off before that and especially I was excited to play Call of Duty Black Ops for zombies and blackout. I played a lot of those and at the beginning of the year, I started Uthena, which is a place where education and service are combined at one place for learning and offering everything you’re willing to do for others. There’s no platform like it and that’s where my passion is now i.e. building Uthena. I see that to go forward. It’s time to optimize my whole life and gaming lately especially as just been taking up time.
I’d rather be investing in Uthena and all of the other things. I do like my family, like going to my AA meetings, like all my self-care from massages to personal training to hypnotherapy each week. I have about maybe 20 or 30 core hours of real-time that I can just get out here, be in my studio, film videos, and do high-level tests. Then I often have lots of other hours where I can kind of passively do things like listening, learning and be preparing or planning in my head. The gaming was taking up a huge percentage of those core hours and yet the gaming was producing a very low return. The audience on the gaming videos was dwindling down after a lot of initial growth last year and that’s probably a reflection of my own energy and my own lack of excitement in terms of gaming.
I’m grateful that I had the chance to carry a message of love, hope, and faith, especially sobriety and healthy living. That was the reason I wanted to get back into gaming as a chance to carry that message and that has been accomplished and I see there’s a ton of other people trying to do that same kind of thing now. And to me, gaming seems to have helped mobilize some others to do the same thing. Now, what my focus is needed elsewhere. I trust the feeling of my passion. If I’m not loving and excited about doing something, then that is not a part of my life that needs to stay. I am ruthless about cutting stuff out of my life that doesn’t feel amazing and that’s not to say that every moment should be in at blissful happiness. It means there should be some passion and feeling about it, even if sometimes it’s the negative gut. I hate this as a frustrating even that is preferable to just apathy and not caring about it.
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Thus like a surgeon, I’ve cut out the gaming out of what I’m doing. Where do we go from here? Where are we to go from here is that I’m filming 3 videos a day on average and getting out all of what I have to share directly. The gaming lately has been obscuring the message I’ve been trying to share. I’ve been intending to share about things like sobriety and yet when I’m playing gaming videos there’s often not a good chance to do that. Instead, now I’m planning to make videos directly and when I say videos I make things into Podcast episodes and Blog posts also. I intend to now make videos directly about various aspects of sobriety instead of trying to get into this awkward conversation while gaming about it.
Playing video games often taken the time I have that’s most valuable to make tutorials and almost all the money I make online and almost all the opportunities I have. The reason I have the studio today, it’s not for gaming. In fact, gaming financially has been a complete loss despite the generous donations of thousands of people gaming totaling at 5 or $10,000. I’ve given more to others in gaming than I’ve actually got for myself. I’ve spent thousands on equipment, games and downloadable items. Gaming financially is a total loss. Meanwhile, I’ve bought a bunch of money this year to build up Uthena because the world has a huge open space for Uthena. It is one place where you can go to learn and serve. It’s incredible. Imagine you can go take video courses with someone and have the services directly related to. For example, you can enroll in someone’s video course, take coaching with them, join the membership group, offer your same services and put your own courses up on that same platform. That’s what all of my attention is needed on now, especially seeking investors. Thus there’s no room for video games in my life.
I’m grateful for today. I have the courage to just look at my life from an objective point of view and cut things out, and yet I’ve been feeling this way for about five months at least. I’ve just continued to do the gaming on autopilot anyway even though the passion wasn’t there. The trick in life is just to be flexible, to back out of things where there’s no more passion. Sometimes this could be a relationship, it could be a job and a lot of us just keep going, going and going as I did in my life. I had lost the passion for drinking and it just was this destructive habit and I just kept going and going on it anyway instead of cutting it loose, learning, growing and changing.
I’m grateful today that you’re here. If you want to stay in touch, here are the best ways that you can do that. On Youtube, you can hit the subscribe button at youtube.com/jerrybanfield if you haven’t already. If you want to make sure not to miss videos, hit the notification bell to get notified on all of them. On Facebook, if you haven’t already, you can hit the follow button not to miss new posts, make sure to see it first. If you want a little something extra, you can join on Youtube and I will put your channel’s name in the credits, either in the description to start with and maybe we’ll have some videos at some point. You can also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin. That’s where you’re able to find me going forward and I appreciate our journey together with gaming. Thank you very much to the supporters on Facebook. The supporters on Facebook bought most of my gaming gear within 24 hours of me posting it which I was giving all up. So, thank you very much for being here. I love you. You’re awesome. And I’ll see you wherever you want to join me in going forward.