Why I Had Gemini Summarize Benjamin Cowen Instead of Watching Him
I was scrolling through crypto YouTube, wondering what to make my next video about, and I see Benjamin Cowen has a video titled "Bitcoin: Extreme Uncertainty." 78,000 views in eight hours. The video is an hour, 11 minutes and 56 seconds. I've watched him enough times to know what it's likely to be. So, being someone who values my time, I went into Gemini and said, "Summarize this," because I'm not sitting through that. I just want to see what y'all are watching.
Here's the summary. Cowen discusses why Bitcoin is at a pivotal decision point characterized by high market uncertainty. Bitcoin is sitting in the low 80K range, caught in a tug of war. He goes through the bull case: a recent golden cross, a breakout to 87K, consolidating above the 50-day moving average.
How are you guys watching this? How are you watching charts? This is so boring. Bitcoin is boring. The technology has not gone anywhere in years. Things like Internet Computer are very exciting. Jerry Banfield, it's very exciting. Watching moving averages and momentum price action? Maintaining above the 50-week moving average with the RSI and MACD displaying a standard recovery signal? Cycle precedent: in 2019 there was a fractal, guys. There's a fractal.
Then he covers the bearishness of the market, and then... I don't have that long. This is not worth your time. This is so boring, oh my god. Bond yields and seasonality. Bitcoin cycle bottoms in midterm years often correspond with... Bitcoin is so boring. It's not going to go anywhere. If anything, the exciting part is going to be when AI hacks something, or when the quantum migration happens, and it's probably going to go down. That'll be the exciting part. All this stuff is a massive waste of time.
Critical levels: this is a make-or-break pivot, it must hold key support. I used to watch videos like this, and none of them were a good use of my time. None of them. I never watched a Bitcoin video that was a good use of my time. I wrote Bitcoin Price and Cycle Videos Are Wasting Your Time for that reason. Worst-case setup: be careful what you wish for. There could be a direct bounce off 87, a full breakdown with no new cycle low, or a breakdown that could form a higher low before stalling out. You guys, who spent an hour watching that? Cowen advises traders to avoid being rigidly deterministic and instead watch weekly closing levels. Your life is ending. You can't handle this.
Bitcoin Is Boring and Holding It Is Nothing but Risk
Bitcoin is so boring. I don't see why anyone would hold it (see Why I'll NEVER Buy or Hold Bitcoin Again). So far it has stalled out, and more than likely it's not even going to keep up with inflation going forward. There are so many risks. If you're letting your Bitcoin sit on a centralized exchange, that's not safe. If you're letting it sit in a Ledger, that's not necessarily safe either. If you're trying to hold it on some other wallet, you might lose it, and someone could steal it and you're never going to get it back. There's no point in holding Bitcoin and watching price videos, and for god's sakes, f***ing up, why are you doing this?
If one person can see the insanity of spending time watching Bitcoin price chart videos sooner than I did, I will feel like I did my job. You can't handle the truth. Oh my, guys, this is so crazy. I asked Gemini and I'm like, all right, I'm going to troll this. The absolute truth is Bitcoin has stagnated so hard, and there are things like Internet Computer out there. If you want something fun: Internet Computer. If you want gains: meme coins. I have a couple on my website. Meme coins are fun. Yes, most everybody loses money, but at least you might get 100x. You will never get 100x again in Bitcoin. Never, ever. Bitcoin is finished being fun. Bitcoin will be predictably boring even when it goes down and rugs and finally goes to zero someday.
That is what I'm talking about. If you want something fun, Internet Computer. If you want something predictable because it's been out since 2009... it ain't 2009 no more. Maybe it was even earlier. It's been a long time, which is why Bitcoin Was Built for a World That No Longer Exists. Bitcoin is boring. That's all you need to know. Never watch another Bitcoin video again unless you would rather waste your life. The macro influencers treat every little wiggle... I mean, it's crazy. Sitting there: it could go to 80, it could go to 85. Who cares? Price barely matters in crypto. What are you going to make?
You Are Poor If You Care About the Bitcoin Price
Do you have 10 Bitcoin right now? Say you're sitting on 800-some thousand dollars of your net worth in Bitcoin. Every time it moves a thousand, your net worth moves $10,000. You are poor if you care about the Bitcoin price, because even with that much Bitcoin you are still poor. If you were rich, you wouldn't sweat 10 grand, or 20 grand, or 100 grand. And if you have a thousand dollars in Bitcoin, every time the price moves a thousand dollars your portfolio barely moves, in which case you are also poor, because if you were really rich you'd be doing something better than watching your crypto portfolio go up a dollar or down a dollar. That's the flip side of You're Not Poor, You're Getting Robbed.
I've lost $7,000 in my meme coins because I got socially engineered, and then they rugged it, and then I bought back into it, and some of the people used me buying back in as exit liquidity. And I'm loving it. I check it once a day, and it's my coin. I have JERRY and JBBJ. The longer version is in my PeiPei vs ICP meme coin review. This obviously isn't financial advice. This is life coaching.
Holding Bitcoin is a waste of time. It is predictably boring. It's never going to make you rich. If you have enough money that Bitcoin's price moving could make you a serious amount of money, then there are better opportunities, and why waste your time? If you have enough Bitcoin to be caring whether it's 80 or 85 thousand, then you should have enough other things you could do with your life that you shouldn't be watching these videos. My own portfolio has been boring on purpose for years, as I shared in My Crypto Portfolio is So BORING in June 2023 (But I'll Still Make 100X), and I don't sit around staring at it.
A Time Traveler From Your Future Has a Message
Oh, are there bots? Like, come on, guys. Benjamin Cowen's video, 78,000 views in eight hours? Those gotta be bots, right? Those have to be bots. Who would watch that? I mean, me three years ago, which might be you now. But I've traveled in time. I have traveled in time from your future. Technically it's your past when you're seeing this, compared to when I recorded it, but practically I'm a time traveler, hence my outfit. I'm a time traveler from the future to tell you: you don't have much longer. And you on your deathbed is like, "Please don't watch those Bitcoin videos anymore."
You could be hanging out with your kids. You could be making love. You could be traveling. You could be watching Jerry Banfield videos that are inspiring and growing and building you an amazing life. You could be hanging out on Jerry Banfield's live stream as he's talking about a gratitude practice and how he's crying at yoga (I Cried at Yoga. Now I'm Saying This 1,000 Times a Day.). You could be doing that, or you could watch this chart go up and down.
So if you want something fun, I'm going to plug everything you can do to support me. Instagram and Instagram TV are fun without the meme coin risk, and meme coins are fun with the risk. All right, so I just thought I'd travel from the future to tell you that. Well, what I just said, really. So you see how boring that video was when I didn't talk? That's, like, the whole video.
Come Have Fun on My Website Instead
Go to jerrybanfield.com and, yeah, come hang out on my live streams. Check out my coins. Maybe get a review. Maybe, if you think I'm funny, why don't you send me a personal video of you? I've got signed books. You can buy this shirt I'm wearing. Like, this is fun. You could have fun on my website. You could get a one-on-one call with me and talk with me for an hour. Imagine how much fun I am on a call. More of this is on my Crypto Reviews playlist. And you know what? As toxic as I was about that video, I'm going to wrap this one up and I hope to see you again soon.