For 30 Days, You Don't Have to Figure Your Love Life Out Alone

I'm not coaching from outside the arena

Most dating coaches figured out how to get phone numbers at twenty-seven and turned it into a career. My qualification is different. I met my wife on Match.com in 2011. We were together about fifteen years, married more than twelve, and raised two children. I lived through attraction fading inside a marriage, accumulated resentment, different visions for the future, separation, and a divorce kind enough that we still love and respect each other as co-parents. I didn't just study how relationships begin — I know what it feels like to build one for over a decade, watch it stop working, and end it without destroying anyone.

Then I had to start dating again from scratch, in my forties. So I do what I've done with everything for fifteen years online: I treat my own life as the laboratory and publish what happens.

That last line matters. I'm not selling you the Twelve Eternal Secrets of Seduction, because I don't agree with every dating video I've ever made — and that's one of my strengths. I test something, realize I was wrong, explain exactly what changed my mind, and update. You're buying judgment, pattern recognition, accountability, and an experienced second set of eyes — from someone running the same experiments you are.

The receipts

In the last year of dating I've gone on roughly twenty first dates and asked out or pursued far more women than that — fifteen in one recent three-week stretch alone. I put over $10,000 into the search: premium app memberships, boosts, $400 of Hinge roses that produced exactly zero dates, $7,500 for a professional matchmaking service with twelve introductions, and $1,200 for my own dating coach — yes, I pay for coaching myself, and it helped me more than any video I ever watched. I also studied over 100 dating videos from over 100 different creators — men's coaches, women's coaches, therapists, matchmakers, attachment teachers, pickup artists — and turned it into a four-hour presentation mapping the entire modern dating-advice ecosystem.

The transformation behind all of it: I'm about eighty pounds lighter than I once was and I've kept it off for a decade. I've been sober twelve years. I practice hard yoga, play singles tennis, and deliberately live in social environments where meeting people happens naturally. Early after my separation, one unmatch could wreck me for a day. Now I can get unexpectedly unmatched and laugh, because somebody just saved both of us time. That shift — from devastated to durable — is trainable, and it's the foundation everything else gets built on.

My whole philosophy in one line: become someone worth choosing, and learn to choose well.

What we work on depends on who you are

I don't know what we're going to work on until I meet you — that's part of the value. Gender gives me a starting hypothesis, not the diagnosis. But here's how it usually looks:

What you're really buying

The product is not four Zoom calls. The product is having me in your corner for a month while you actually date.

• Someone messages you? Send it to me before you reply.
• Someone cancels? Talk to me before you send the angry paragraph.
• You meet someone amazing? Let's look carefully instead of projecting a whole marriage onto them after two dates.
• You're getting nothing? Let's figure out whether it's the profile, the photos, the standards, the environment, or the entire strategy.
• You're about to over-pursue? I've done it — I once told a woman she was my queen after four dates and watched her attraction evaporate within days. I'll catch you before you learn that one the way I did.

Between calls, I don't promise instant 24/7 replies — I promise ongoing, thoughtful support. You'll get my honest read, not a reflex.

What I am not

I'm not a therapist, psychologist, licensed counselor, or certified anything — and if you need clinical help, I'll say so and step aside. I can't guarantee you dates, a girlfriend, a husband, or a saved relationship, and nobody honest can. What I promise is this: for 30 days, you don't have to figure your love life out alone. We'll look directly at what you're doing, what's working, what isn't, what you're afraid to face, and what the next move actually is. Clarity is kindness — and you'll get clarity.

Why $963 is fair

The four scheduled hours alone work out to about $240 an hour — before counting the month of support between calls and lifetime chat access. Established dating-coaching programs commonly run $1,000 per month with a four-month commitment, $395 for a single 50-minute session, or $7,500 for a VIP package. I know, because I've been the customer: I paid $7,500 for matchmaking and $1,200 for coaching out of my own pocket. This is a one-time payment, not a subscription — 30 days, and then you decide if you want more.

How it works

1. Buy your 30 days above for $963 — sign in free with Internet Identity (no email, no password) and pay by card or ICP.
2. Share your contact information on the thank-you page right after payment — email, phone, or WhatsApp.
3. I reach out and we schedule your first call. Your 30 days start when we begin, not when you pay — you don't lose days to scheduling.
4. We get to work — four hour-long calls, support in between, and a love life that finally has a second set of experienced eyes on it.

Not sure yet? Talk to me first

If you want to know whether your situation is a fit before spending $963, don't guess — ask me:

• Join the community chat and ask me directly — I'm in there every day.
• Join the Jerry Banfield Family on Skool and send me a direct message.
• Book a single call with me — a fraction of the price, and you'll know within thirty minutes whether you want a month of this.

I'm grateful you read all the way to the end. Whatever you decide, I hope you stop settling for figuring this out alone — it's the most expensive way to do it.