Somebody who has known me in person for years said to me a little while ago, "Jerry, I had to unfollow you because it's hard to watch your videos. It makes it harder for me to have a relationship with you in person." This was pretty surprising to me. In more than a decade of being a content creator, I had never gotten this feedback before. But it does make a lot of sense, because most of the people I know in person, my wife, my kids, my friends, my family, don't watch my videos.
That has been annoying at times. When I felt like I wasn't getting enough views, I felt like my friends and family weren't supporting me. I'd think, come on, why aren't you watching my videos? Why aren't you supporting me and what I'm doing, my dream, all of it? But then I talked to this friend, and she said, "You have this public persona that's hard for me to keep in mind, and it makes it more difficult for me to interact with you the way you are when you're not on camera." She told me she had followed and was watching about five or six years ago. At that time, I don't think I was making many down-to-earth vlog videos. Back then I imagine I was making a lot of gaming content, maybe when I was streaming constantly in a tube top, or going after controversial subjects. And I was really high energy on a lot of those videos too.
There is a different side to me in person
So I want each of you to know that yes, there is a much different side to me in person. And I also want to make sure I get more of what you would see in person into my videos. One thing I'm really excited about is doing more videos that aren't in the studio, more real-life videos. You all have been telling me to do this for years. You've said I should make a vlog, that I should do more down-to-earth, real-life, spur-of-the-moment videos. So I'm doing that now, because I hope it will help me get out of being only the personality you might think of when you picture me.
What I've really struggled with as a creator is getting boxed into specific personalities. People want a hyped-up energy crypto video. Or they want me to be like Wayne Dyer or Eckhart Tolle, doing spiritual talks while I'm playing Call of Duty Warzone. Or they want me to play retro games and swear and be nuts. Or they want me to teach online courses, and that's it. The path to success that most of the YouTube gurus give you is to pick a niche, pick a personality, and that's all you should be for people. That's all you should do, be this one little idea.
One niche has never felt authentic to me
That doesn't feel authentic to me. I have so many different ways I like to be, and I don't want to be just one little niche, one little idea. I want to show you a broader world, a world of hype and enthusiasm, the "I'm excited about this, I don't like that, this product review worked, that didn't work" side of things. And also the down-to-earth, normal, regular videos just talking about real-life stuff, vlogs. Gaming where I'm relaxed and chill, and gaming where I'm hyped and swearing and crazy. Music, dance music, instrumental ambient music, freestyles, affirmations. To me, what's really magical in life is when you can explore so many different versions of yourself.
And it starts to come down to what even is real. I had an epiphany recently that I was talking about at a meeting I was at. I was upset because somebody had said things I thought were lies about me. How dare they make up their own story based on what they've seen and tell it to other people? But really, all of us are doing that all the time. What I think about me is not the truth, and it changes every day. Your perception of me is just as valid as my experience of myself. And that really leaves you wondering, what is true?
The things I was sure were true
There are things I was absolutely sure were true. Pluto was a planet, that's a minor one. But I was also sure at various points about things like death, that this is a fact, and it's scary, and it's horrible, and we all have to experience it. Now I don't even know if, whenever this reality ends, I'm actually going to experience death at all. I may never experience death, because I could just fall asleep and pass at night. I would literally never experience all the things you think about when it comes to dying, all the things people are so afraid of. I don't even know if death is true at this point. Sure, I've seen things that were living that are not living now, like my dog passing. But the things I believed at various points in my life don't look true anymore.
I was thinking about this in yoga this morning. I used to believe that beautiful women were so scarce, that beautiful women with nice personalities who would give you attention were so rare. I used to believe in that scarcity, because that was the world I lived in mentally. But now I don't believe that. Beautiful women are everywhere, friendly and kind. The things I used to believe, like how hard it is to find a partner, a good relationship, I'm like, no, it's not. It really is not. These things that were so true to me at one point in my life are blatantly false to me today. It just leaves me wondering, what is true?
We only know one tiny version of the people we know
I used to think everyone, all my friends, all my family, should watch my videos and support me and help me be a content creator and get to know all these different parts of me. But some people can't handle that. It's too much. Some people don't want to have this expanded idea of me. A lot of the time we just want to hold simple ideas of people.
So if you get anything out of this, I hope to encourage you to hold expanded ideas of people, and to realize that pretty much everybody you know in your life, you only know one little tiny version of them. All of us have a depth. Each of us has a depth that we haven't even explored in ourselves. And all of us have a depth there that's really exciting. If you want to see more of how I think through all of this, you can explore my YouTube Coaching playlist, where I share more of these realizations.