This is my journal entry from December 16, 2025, part of my daily autobiography Divorce Day — my real, unedited days, published in order.
I spent most of the day at Crunch Fitness today. After dropping the kids off in the morning, I headed over to set up for my Crunch marketing table. This time I only brought one box of books, which had about twelve different titles in it. I brought my folding table and the dog blanket I use as a table cover. I like doing things my own way there. The other vendors tend to have corporate displays and rules, while I just throw a blanket over the table, set up the lawn chair I bought yesterday at Academy Sports, and get to work.
I also brought my laptop so I’d have something productive to do. What I really don’t enjoy is standing around hoping someone will talk to me with nothing else going on. My plan now is to sit there editing my books, and if someone happens to come over and look at them, then we’ll talk. I had transcripts from my fifth diary book ready to edit, so I opened those up and got started. Between 9 a.m. and about 1 p.m., around five people stopped by to talk. One woman bought two of my books. I was surprised she picked It’s Not You, It’s the Dating Apps and 28 Strategies to Experience Peace and Love in Your Life, especially because I wrote that second book about nine years ago and don’t even think it’s one of my better ones.
It was interesting to see how people behave differently in person compared to online. Books that barely sell on the internet can suddenly move when someone is standing right there talking with you. I also loved how easy the payment process was. I had the Stripe app on my phone and she just tapped her credit card to the top of it. That contactless payment is incredibly smooth compared to how it worked a decade ago when you had to plug in a card reader and hope it would connect properly. I remember trying to swipe cards back then and constantly dealing with glitches and connection problems. This felt effortless, and I appreciated her support.
While I was there, I also did another training session with my personal trainer and caught him up on everything that had been happening. The more I talk through the my yoga studio situation from yesterday, the better I feel about it. I’m grateful to be an adult who can set boundaries with people and step away from conversations or environments that don’t feel right anymore. It also opens the door to enjoying classes at places like Crunch Fitness and other studios where I might feel more welcome.
After a few conversations about the books, I also realized that attacking people’s lifestyles probably isn’t the best way to sell them. At the same time, selling books isn’t really the whole point for me. I’m just out there being visible and letting people encounter the work naturally. There are plenty of interesting people walking through the gym all day, and I’m starting to see that I enjoy putting myself in environments like that where I can edit my books and let conversations happen organically. By the time 1 p.m. came around, I packed up the table and went home to get ready for my massage appointment with a friend.
When I got home, I made myself a salad, did a little more work, and started preparing to head back to Crunch later that evening. I wanted to have more transcripts ready to edit so I could sit down there for several hours again and keep working while people moved through the gym.
After leaving Crunch, I drove to my massage appointment with a friend. During the session we talked about a lot of different things. I started by telling her that she had been right about a life coach I’d been interested in, who wasn’t interested in dating me after all, which she found amusing. From there we talked about her marketing with her partner. He runs a high-end service business and has been wanting to bring in more customers. For years his main strategy has been posting constantly on social media, but lately that hasn’t been producing the same results. One thing we discussed is how many people with disposable income are spending less time scrolling online, while a lot of the people who spend hours on social media are not necessarily the kind of high-paying clients his business depends on.
I suggested that he might want to experiment with direct mail marketing. I remembered a massage therapist who had mailed me a postcard years ago. I actually held on to it and scheduled a session months later. The massage itself turned out to be disappointing, but the marketing worked because the postcard stayed in my house long enough for me to eventually act on it. If the massage had been excellent, she probably would have gained a long-term client from a postcard that likely cost only a couple of dollars to send. I explained that if her partner invested a couple thousand dollars into sending well-designed postcards to a carefully targeted group of households, he could potentially bring in clients worth far more than that, especially once referrals start spreading. I told her I’d look up some more information about how that kind of campaign could work and send it to her later.
We also talked about the my yoga studio situation from the day before. My friend mentioned how strong sexual energy can sometimes be perceived very differently by different people. Some women feel comfortable with it and others can feel unsettled by it, especially if it reminds them of past experiences or brings up feelings they don’t want to deal with in that environment. For some people, even feeling attracted or turned on in the wrong context can make them feel out of control, and that discomfort can turn into fear or defensiveness. Hearing that perspective helped me think about what might have happened differently than the way I had first interpreted it.
During the massage I also felt a strong sense of appreciation for where I am in my life right now. I felt grateful for my friendship with her and for the way we’ve supported each other’s work. We traded the massage for the help I’ve been giving her with writing her book, and I’m excited about helping her bring that project to completion. I told her that in my experience the hardest part of writing a book isn’t actually writing it. Many people write huge amounts of material. The real challenge is finishing the manuscript and getting it published. Even though self-publishing has made that process easier than ever, countless people still have books sitting unfinished on their computers. My mom is a perfect example. She has hundreds of thousands of words saved on her computer, but they’re not published. In my view, the most important step is putting the book out into the world. If it’s still sitting on a hard drive where nobody can read it or buy it, it almost feels like it doesn’t fully exist yet.
I was laughing a lot at Crunch while I was editing my diary entries. I ended up spending hours researching and thinking about what the title should be for the book. I wanted something that would last the test of time, something funny and memorable that would feel right once the whole story came together. After about nine hours of thinking and experimenting with ideas, I finally landed on the title Nine Hours Later. The joke of it fits perfectly with one of the main stories in the book. On November 1st I had a girl come over, and it took nine hours from when she arrived until the connection between us finally deepened late that night. It stretched from around 5:30 p.m. into the middle of the night, and that whole long buildup is one of the moments the book circles around. So the title ends up being funny once you understand the story behind it.
What I like about Nine Hours Later is that it’s simple and memorable. It’s the kind of title that makes people curious. Someone could easily say, “Have you read Jerry’s book Nine Hours Later?” and the title itself becomes part of the joke once the reader knows the story. I want to keep choosing titles that have that kind of personality. Some of my earlier titles feel more generic to me now. I’d rather lean toward titles that feel like inside jokes or signals to the reader that there’s something unusual waiting in the pages. When someone finishes the book and looks back at the title, I want them to think, “That’s actually a perfect title for this.”
I also felt proud that I finally finished everything needed to publish the book. I had actually completed the manuscript on November 2nd, and it was now December 16th, which meant it had been sitting for about a month and a half. That’s exactly the kind of delay I sometimes criticize in other people, so it felt good to push through and finish the job. I edited the entire second half of the book, wrote the Amazon description, created the cover, formatted everything through Kindle Create, uploaded it to Amazon, and ordered five proof copies. Getting the book fully prepared and submitted felt like a big win after letting it sit for so long.
Right after leaving my friend’s place I packed everything back up to return to Crunch Fitness for their evening marketing event. They only hold two or three of those gatherings each month, and with my $150 monthly membership it feels like free time to promote my books while being in a place I enjoy anyway. It took me about ten minutes to find parking, then I carried all my gear back inside and set up my table again. Once everything was ready I went right back to editing my books while people walked through the gym.
While I was working, I noticed that the woman from the event had finally replied to the email I sent her. I had written to her the night before after getting my matches around 4:44 p.m. and then sending the message around seven that evening. When there was no response that night, I assumed it might end up being another rejection. By now I’ve had plenty of those. The life coach made it clear she didn’t want to date me. My massage therapist didn’t want to date me. Another massage therapist didn’t want to date me either. There have been plenty of other small moments like that too, where someone I liked or thought I had a good connection with ended up saying no. It’s become such a common pattern that when I don’t hear back right away, I almost expect the same outcome.
While I was sitting at Crunch today, my phone suddenly started lighting up all at once. Three or four different women messaged me at almost the same time. A woman from the Shop City Summit sent me a message, and earlier that morning I had sent quick texts to two women I know from around town. They were simple messages like, “Nice to see you yesterday.” They replied with things like, “Hi, great to see you as well.” Just light contact to keep things warm and friendly so that the next time we run into each other there’s already some connection there.
Around the same time, I got an email from the woman I met at the event giving me her phone number. She wrote that she’d like to spend some time together but wanted to make it clear she’d prefer to start as friends. Years ago, I might have reacted poorly to that kind of message, but now I see it differently. There’s no need to rush anything. It makes sense to take time to talk, get to know each other, and see how things develop. While I was sitting at Crunch working on my editing, I spent a little time figuring out what to text her.
Sometimes my first instinct with messages can come across a little blunt or overly direct, so I asked ChatGPT for some guidance before sending it. My first draft sounded a bit stiff and overly structured, almost like a meeting invitation instead of a natural text. ChatGPT pointed out that the tone should be lighter and more human, especially since she had already said she was open to meeting up. After a bit of back and forth, I ended up sending a simple message: “Hi there, this is Jerry. I was really happy to see your email this morning. Would you like to do something active and fun together tomorrow after four?”
She replied warmly but said she was busy until the weekend. I suggested meeting Saturday with something simple like a walk at Treasure Island Beach around 10:30. After a little more back and forth, she asked if the afternoon would work better. I responded that we could meet at 4:44 or 3:33 if she wanted more time in the sun. She liked the idea of 4:44 and said she was looking forward to it. I added it to my calendar and sent one final message saying I was looking forward to seeing her again on Saturday.
It was funny sitting there realizing how much thought I was putting into something as simple as a text conversation. At the same time, it felt good knowing I’d started the conversation off in a relaxed and friendly way instead of sending something heavy or awkward right out of the gate. In that moment I was genuinely grateful for the little bit of help smoothing out the message so the interaction could begin naturally.
What felt especially good about the situation with her was that there seemed to be some real mutual interest. After so many interactions with different women that ended in polite rejections or fading conversations, it felt refreshing to have a text exchange that flowed naturally. Over the course of about six and a half hours we sent a total of seven messages and ended up setting a time that may or may not turn into a date on Saturday. Either way, I’m genuinely excited about it. I’ve got a walk on the beach scheduled, and it feels good to have something like that on the calendar.
Part of what I’m appreciating is the simple feeling of possibility. Whether things work out with her or with someone else down the road, it reminds me that there are women out there who are attractive, healthy, and interested in getting to know me just as I’m interested in getting to know them. She immediately stood out to me when I first saw her at the event. I remember thinking right away that she was striking. During the exercises at the event she was the one person I was most excited to interact with, and afterward she was the only one I followed up with by email.
It’s also interesting to notice how things unfold naturally when you simply express interest and see what comes back. Some of the other women from the event could have reached out too if they were interested, but she was the one who responded, and that’s where the energy is right now. At the same time, I’m reminding myself that physical attraction is only one piece of the picture. I still don’t really know her yet, and that’s why spending some time together and getting to know her personality matters.
One encouraging sign is that we met at a Tantra speed dating event, which already suggests we might share some values or interests. The event itself was sober, and I also know she attended a local spiritual community the night before, which is another sober gathering. Seeing someone at those kinds of events gives me the sense that we might already be on a similar wavelength about certain things in life. For now, it simply feels good to look forward to meeting up, talking more, and seeing where things go. Just having that anticipation added a bright note to the day as I headed back into Crunch Fitness after the massage.
While I was sitting at my table at Crunch that evening, there was a guy set up across from me. We sat there for quite a while without talking, just occasionally making eye contact. His tablecloth said Rivly.com. After about an hour he finally came over and started asking about my books. At first I didn’t even realize he was the guy who had been sitting across from me the whole time. Once we started talking, I ended up telling him a lot of my story. I talked about my books, about deleting my channels after getting more than a billion views online, and about my experiences with crypto and the internet business world.
Then he started telling me about his company. He’s building something he envisions as a competitor to Amazon. He said they already have investor funding and around a dozen employees and that they’re aiming to grow the company enough to eventually go public. As he described it, it sounded like he’s looking for someone who could take charge of the marketing and really know what they’re doing. I got the sense he was trying to feel me out to see if I’d be interested in working with him in some capacity. My first instinct was that I’m not interested in getting pulled into a traditional job. My lifestyle doesn’t really revolve around that kind of structure. Still, I was open to continuing the conversation, so we exchanged information. He gave me his phone number and told me he had a calendar link where I could schedule a call with him.
We ended up talking for more than thirty minutes, which meant neither of us were paying much attention to our tables for a while. Before we wrapped up, he bought two of my books. That felt great because it pushed the total of books I’d sold over the past few days to about seventy dollars. It might not sound like a huge amount, but it adds up and helps keep the whole operation moving forward. Selling books in person feels especially satisfying because it’s a direct exchange with someone who’s interested in what I’ve written. One other guy added one of my books to his Amazon cart instead of buying it directly from me, which was a little funny because it would cost him more there, but everyone has their own way of doing things.
After we finished talking, I went ahead and filled out the form to schedule a call with him while the conversation was still fresh in both of our minds. I figured if I was going to show up for that conversation, I should come prepared to demonstrate what I actually know about marketing. A lot of people in that space talk big about impressions and reach, but when you look at the results, not much really happens. I wanted to be clear that if I did anything with him, I wouldn’t just agree with whatever strategy he already had in mind.
For example, he mentioned that they were thinking about scaling up with Facebook ads and Google ads. My immediate reaction was that approach often wastes a lot of money when it’s done without a very specific plan. Years ago there was a window where Facebook ads were incredibly powerful, and I was teaching people how to use them during that period. Today the landscape is very different. The cost of impressions has gone up, bots and low-quality traffic are everywhere, and companies often spend a lot of money without seeing meaningful results. In certain situations, like promoting a very specific local event, targeted ads can still make sense. But simply blasting ads everywhere and hoping people notice them rarely works well anymore.
For something like a Tantra speed dating event, running Facebook ads can make sense because the path from the ad to the purchase is simple. Someone sees the ad, clicks it, lands on an Eventbrite page they already recognize, and quickly understands what’s being offered. People already know what speed dating is, they understand the platform, and if they’re single and interested, it’s easy for them to decide whether to sign up. The funnel is clear and familiar, so the friction is low.
With something like Rivly, the situation is completely different. If you send someone from a Facebook or Google ad to a brand-new website they’ve never heard of, especially one trying to compete with Amazon, most people will land on the page and immediately wonder why they should care. If the platform doesn’t already have the products they want or a reputation they recognize, there’s very little reason for them to sign up or enter payment information. In that scenario, paid ads often end up wasting money because people click out of curiosity, see something unfamiliar, and leave right away. A lot of the traffic ends up being low-quality clicks or automated bot traffic anyway.
Advertising tends to work better when the ad appears inside the same environment where the purchase happens. For example, when I advertise a book on Amazon to someone already browsing Amazon, there’s a much higher chance they’ll buy it. They’re already in the app, they trust the platform, and their payment information is already stored. They only need to click once or twice to complete the purchase. That’s a very different situation from asking someone to leave a social media site, visit an unfamiliar platform, and create a new account before spending money.
Even when ads work well, they usually need a larger system around them. Back when I ran campaigns promoting my online courses, the ads were only one piece of a bigger funnel. The courses were hosted on a platform people already trusted, and I built additional layers into the system, like affiliate links and internal promotions. With everything structured properly, the ads could produce results, even though the conversion rates themselves were still relatively low. That kind of setup can work, but it requires the entire environment to support the marketing effort rather than relying on ads alone.
After that conversation, another guy stopped by my table. I gave him one of my books, and in return he handed me a free juice from his stand. I don’t usually drink juice, but I went ahead and finished the whole thing. It was watermelon with cayenne pepper. He told me his name, and I joked that it reminded me of Mike Jones, so he probably hears that comparison all the time. He’s a local juice maker who makes the drinks himself, so we talked for a bit about what he’s doing with that.
After wrapping up those conversations, I packed up and headed out. On the way home I kept thinking about the guy from Rivly and the idea he mentioned about marketing for the company. At first, I dismissed the idea of working for someone else, but later I looked more closely at their website. I noticed they were advertising engineering roles starting around $132,000 a year. That made me think that if they valued marketing leadership at a similar level, it might actually be worth considering. If there were a way to contribute meaningfully without completely changing my lifestyle, it could be interesting.
What I realized is that if I ever did take on something like that, it would have to make sense for how I want to live. The way I think about it is that my time and attention have value, and I want to use them in ways that reflect that. I’m not interested in trading all my time for a modest hourly wage when I believe my work can generate far more value than that. At the same time, I can imagine a situation where a company benefits from my experience while I still maintain the freedom to keep writing and working on my own projects.
A big part of that confidence comes from believing in the long-term value of what I’m creating with these books. When I write entries like this, I’m building something that could grow over time. If the series keeps expanding, eventually there could be hundreds of entries covering life day by day instead of a polished summary that smooths over the details. I often imagine what it would be like to discover someone’s life documented that way, where you could follow the story as it unfolded in real time rather than hearing a condensed version years later.
Before leaving Crunch that evening I also tried something new with my table display. Instead of using the sign that said I deleted a billion views online, I printed one of the reviews a reader had written for my book and placed it on the table. It didn’t immediately lead to more book sales, but I liked the way it changed the energy of the display. Sometimes small changes like that make the table feel more personal and inviting, even if the effect on sales isn’t obvious right away.
As I’m heading to bed tonight, I’m thinking a lot about her. I talked with my friend earlier about what really matters in a relationship and what might be flexible. One of the things we discussed was that the question of having more kids might not need to be decided immediately. It might be something that can sit on the back burner while I focus on what really matters right now. One thing that feels non-negotiable for me is strong attraction. There needs to be that spark where I look at someone and think they’re incredibly attractive, and they seem to feel the same about me. When she and I made eye contact at the event, I felt that kind of energy immediately. It was different from the interactions I had with anyone else there.
Beyond attraction, another thing that feels important to me is health. I don’t want to build a relationship with someone who relies on substances or constant coping mechanisms just to get through the day. I want someone who is generally healthy and grounded so we can inspire each other to live well. Physical attraction and health often go together, though not always. Sometimes you see someone who looks amazing but their inner life is chaotic. Ideally, I’m looking for both: someone with a beautiful presence on the outside and a healthy mind and personality inside.
Thinking about that made me realize I’m open to relationships that might look a little different from what I once imagined. If she, for example, is a few years older than me, that wouldn’t bother me at all. If there’s strong attraction, shared interests, and a healthy connection, I’d absolutely be open to dating someone in her forties or fifties. At the same time, the possibility of having more kids is still somewhere in the future of my life. I’ve got time for that. It’s possible to have a meaningful relationship for several years, enjoying life together, traveling, having adventures, and building memories, while still remaining open to the idea that life might take another turn later.
Reflecting on all of this also made me think about moments in the past when I avoided being honest about what I really wanted. Four years ago, there was a woman I knew who was beautiful and clearly attracted to me, and I had the feeling that she wanted more out of the connection. At the time I pushed those thoughts aside because I felt it would be wrong to acknowledge them while I was still married to my ex-wife. A similar situation happened two years later with someone at yoga. Looking back, part of me wishes I had simply been honest about what I was feeling instead of burying those desires.
What I see now is that the real problem isn’t having those desires. The problem is pretending they aren’t there. When people hide what they actually want, it creates confusion and dishonesty in relationships. Being open about what you want—whether that’s love, companionship, sex, or building a life together—feels much more straightforward than pretending those desires don’t exist. That honesty, even when it leads to difficult conversations, seems healthier than carrying around feelings that never get spoken out loud.
At the same time, I’m not going to close my eyes to women who might want kids in the future. I realize there are probably many women I could date right now who I’d find attractive and who would enjoy being with me, but who don’t want children. It wouldn’t make sense to ignore that entire group of people just because I might want more kids someday. There’s no reason I can’t be open to a relationship with someone like that while still staying open to the possibility of having more children later in life.
I also thought a lot about timing when it comes to my own kids. Right now, they’re ten and seven, and they still need a lot from me. They want time together during the week, overnight visits, and the kind of attention younger kids naturally look for. They don’t yet have the big social worlds that teenagers tend to develop. But in another five or six years that will change. When I was a teenager, I didn’t rely on my parents the same way. At that stage, the basics were what mattered: meals, a stable home, guidance when needed. My kids will still need me then, but in a different way.
That perspective helped me realize that the timing for having more children might make more sense later. If I waited five or ten years, my current kids would be older and more independent. My son might be focused on sports and friends, and my daughter would be close to adulthood. They would still need their dad, but not in the same day-to-day way they do right now. Waiting could allow me to be fully present for them during these years when they depend on me most, and still leave open the possibility of building another family later.
Thinking ahead like that also made me consider how much life circumstances can shift over time. Right now it makes sense for me to stay in St. Petersburg because that’s where the kids are. If I were dating someone seriously, it would need to be someone who also wants to stay here. But years down the road the possibilities could open up again. When the kids are teenagers, travel and relocation become much more manageable. They could visit easily, and our family rhythm would naturally look different than it does today.
So tonight I found myself reflecting on how many different paths could unfold from here. For now, I’m simply enjoying the feeling of possibility. She is on my mind, and I’m looking forward to seeing how that meeting goes. It feels exciting to have something new developing, to feel attraction and curiosity again. And as I think about it all, part of me wishes I had recorded these moments years ago when my ex-wife and I first started dating, just to see what those early days looked like through the same lens of reflection.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.