This is my journal entry from March 19, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
I got some serious snuggles with the kids this morning. We didn't get up until after nine, and I really enjoyed all the time with them. At one point, I was sandwiched between both kids, and I'm like, thank you very much for this. What an awesome experience. After that, we got ready and went to the local video game store. Finally, I decided I'm going to buy an Xbox or a PlayStation 5. But I got there and they didn't have either of the consoles, despite last time they had several. Although last time I went was probably eight months ago. I gave the kids $20 to spend and they bought some Pokemon cards. My son managed to play the pinball machine, the Bart Simpson's one they have, for over 30 minutes. Somehow he put in a dollar and it gave him 14 credits. My daughter played the Pac-Man machine and looked around, and we left without me buying anything myself.
I came back to my ex-wife's house with the kids, dropped the kids off, and then tried to decide if I wanted to go to the electronics store to pick up a PlayStation 5 or an Xbox Series X. I figured I might as well go to the AA meeting first since I'm playing tennis later. I sat at the AA meeting. And I actually got called on, which was nice. Not a meeting I usually go to and I didn't know many people there. We were talking about miracles and I shared my transformation since getting sober in a general sense. Also mentioning the PlayStation. One guy after the meeting told me that I should find a newcomer instead of getting a PlayStation. I agree with that on principle. And I'm thinking maybe I need to get some customers instead of a PlayStation.
After the meeting, I could have easily driven to the electronics store because I was already a third of the way there. I thought, maybe I'll order one online or maybe after tennis. Just not right now. I came home and had lunch to make sure I have time to digest before tennis. Being single, I ended up spending part of the afternoon looking at some of those adult games and some porn, but I came away with the same conclusion I drew like three months ago, that I'd honestly rather fantasize than watch any of it. I figured, you know what, I'm single, if I'm ever going to do it I guess now's the time, but ironically, I don't feel like doing it again anytime soon.
Thinking about how I have a book named My Porn Addiction and Recovery Story, I'm like, yeah, I guess let me write something else. One reason I don't want to buy a gaming system is I've got $2,000 left in credit on this 0% interest credit card, and that would knock out a significant portion of it buying a gaming system. Like, why don't I try and make some money? So I write out a two-page loneliness letter. I'm thinking if I can deliver letters that are shorter and cheaper, those can just directly promote the calls and promote my books. I write the letter and I come up with what I think is a clever little ending, putting that if the person reading it thinks of somebody they know that could use this letter, they could just text me the address and I'll drop it anonymously on their doorstep and I'll drop some to their neighbors so it's not obvious who was the target. I figure this could give me some very targeted referrals where people could send me to exactly the right person that would need what I'm having to offer. And it'd be kind of funny, people could even troll each other, like, yeah, go drop my friend this letter. I finish up writing a letter and print out an envelope, get everything ready right before tennis. And I'm thinking maybe I'll go buy an Xbox after tennis. I'm thinking of Xbox Series X now but I'm annoyed the price is up to $650 on it, especially when I bought one years ago and had one before and sold it for like $300, thinking, man, if I'm going to buy another gaming system, I should have just kept the last one and the one before that.
But that's what I'm thinking about as I drive down to tennis at a local tennis center. I meet a guy there for singles and warming up, we cannot. Me and him are on different wavelengths. Like our hitting session is one of the worst hitting sessions I've had in a while. We're just hitting the ball different styles. He destroys me the first set, 6-1. And I thought based on his record I saw on the app, I'm like, he's probably going to wreck me. So in the second set, I just start kind of playing more to feel good about hitting a couple of nice shots here and there. I start hitting some really hard shots. I hit some really skillful shots. I make some outstanding play at the net, realizing that he's not usually pushing that hard back to the baseline. And often if I push the net, I can finish the point. I end up getting ahead in the second set 6-5. He ties it up 6-6 and we take a tiebreaker. He wins the tiebreaker 12-10. Both of us are kind of relieved there's not going to need to be a third set.
Now I get my car at 7-50. I'm like, shit. Should I go to the electronics store right now? It's open till 9 because I looked earlier. Like, nah, the kids wanted to go with me if I bought a gaming system. I really don't want to deal with the kids and me having a gaming system because if I have a gaming system, they're going to want to play it. They're going to judge me. They're going to miss out on some time potentially with me because of the gaming system. Either that or I'm going to miss out on some time working. And I'm thinking, I'd almost rather install dating apps and swipe on them because I might meet a second wife out of doing that. But what's going to happen playing video games?
I think back, my mind was so inaccurate in 2025 when it told me how great it'd be to play video games again after I'd sold and got rid of everything in 2024. And it was wrong. It was dead wrong. I mean, I had little bits of fun, but I remember playing the Call of Duty Zombies and it was boring. I remember playing the Warzone and I got high off of it, but then I felt the withdrawal and everything feeling boring afterwards. I played the new Indiana Jones game, which looked so cool, but I got bored with it. I got bored with all the games. I had a PlayStation 5. I had an Xbox One. I had a gaming PC and I got bored playing all of them. Even after I deleted everything online, I still had my games. And while I did really enjoy beating that rogue-like mansion builder called Blue Prince. That was one of the most fun games I'd played in a while, and I enjoyed beating FTL also, faster than light. And I looked up and I found a bunch of new games I'd love to play.
If I make one decision to get a gaming system, that introduces a thousand more decisions for me to make. Which game to play? How long to play it? Should I let the kids play? So many decisions follow that one decision. I remember that Gary Keller book talking about the one thing. And man, if you can make one, or maybe it was Tim Ferriss, whoever, if you can make one decision to eliminate a thousand decisions, that can be so powerful. And I'm just thinking, I don't know if I want to introduce that complexity into my life right now. But at the same time, I don't have a girlfriend. If I ever want to play video games again, this is probably the best time I'm going to have, maybe for the next decade, because I get some new girlfriend. She's going to want to hang out all the time. She gets pregnant. She's going to really want to hang out all the time. She has a baby. She's going to want me around all the time. And at some point, hopefully I'll make some money.
So I still, even as I wrapped the day up, I came home. I took a nice walk around Crescent Lake. I sat by the water for a little bit. I showered. I listened to Alan Watts's book called The Book, which ChatGPT recommended. I was looking for something that was up my esoteric alley. It's called The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. I'm really enjoying this book so far. It provides such incredible commentary on the nature of reality. And then I'm thinking maybe what I need to do is start listening to some fiction, some fantasy books. Then I could listen to those while I'm doing things like folding letters and stuffing envelopes. And I could add some excitement in my life by delivering all these envelopes and working my business.
I remembered how bored I am with video games. I think video games that I recall used to be fun, but they end up being boring in reality. I remember playing that Call of the Dead Zombies map, which came out 16 years ago at this point. And I remember being so bored after I got to like round 20 with it. I just wanted to lose. Still, there's part of me that loves the idea of getting an Xbox again or PlayStation again. And maybe my brain can process all this when I go to sleep tonight. I'm grateful I did some meaningful work today getting this letter out. And people took both my little booklets that I printed out of the little free library at Crescent Lake. So I dropped two more in and I dropped my book I'm Seeking a Wife in there. Somebody took that one, too. How cool would it be if I found some amazing second wife off dropping a book in a free library? It'd be pretty incredible.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.