This is my journal entry from February 10, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
I enjoyed waking up with the kids this morning. We got off to school at a nice leisurely pace and everybody arrived on time. I read with my son this morning and then I headed back home to get to work on my big un-effing-myself memoir. I went through some typo edits with ChatGPT because I'm not going to go censor and soften all my content. At this point, I'm a small author, and if I can't say what I want to say, and I have to censor myself just as much as videos, I might as well not publish books. So I had it. It told me I was thinking about softening everything, but I didn't. But I put so much data into it, it started hallucinating typos and making up typos that weren't there, which is interesting.
After I wrapped that up, I had a salad and went to my AA meeting. Then after the AA meeting, I went straight over to the yoga studio for a Power Flow lunch time, which was great. I put my mat down in a little bit different spot this time, in the middle right side. And there's a very attractive girl next to me. And I kept thinking, maybe this is my second wife. Yes, this is it. But we didn't even look at each other or anything. And I was playful and screwing around, having fun. Doing the flow intentionally on the wrong leg and stuff, being kind of toxic like that. It was a challenging flow. Do it holding like warrior three for like a minute on each side at the end of the flow. I was like, damn, this is a good workout.
I powered through any time I had today. I powered through the rest of Mark Manson's book, Everything is Fucked, which was a lot of interesting learning material in there. Hearing about these different psychological philosophies and meaning of life and all these stories he told. I love the story he told in there about this guy who was a Polish freedom fighter and had to deal with the Soviets and then the Germans. And he's the only known person to voluntarily submit himself to go into Auschwitz. He intentionally got arrested just because he wanted to go in there and see if he could get the information about what was going on out of there. And his life was just amazing. The courage he had, he's like, can you imagine just being like, I want to do something about this concentration camp. Let me see if I can get in there. I love that mindset. That's the kind of mindset. It only takes a relatively small amount of people with that mindset to totally change the world. This guy got some of the only intelligence out about what was happening in Auschwitz. And he met a miserable end from fighting the Soviets after World War II and then being tortured for like a year. But still, at the end of his life, he felt his life had meaning. And before he was executed, he lived his life thinking that at the end of it, he'd be proud of it. And that's where he was. And that's how I live my life too, thinking I want to be proud of it at the end of my life.
Reading through Mark Manson's book also talked about the value of being able to endure pain. The story he told about the, which I had never heard before, of the monk in Vietnam who set himself on fire and apparently sat there while he was burning, like rigid in a meditation posture, like not screaming or anything, just like meditating. That image was so profound, it went around the world and changed the entire dynamic of the situation in Vietnam, which did also seem to increase the escalation, lead to a plot for the assassination of the president, and it seems like they put the slimiest person in charge of South Vietnam that they could find, and arguably putting that guy in charge more than anything contributed to the Vietnam War. Like, what the hell, couldn't we have got somebody who wasn't such an asshole in charge of South Vietnam back then? I really enjoyed listening to all these stories.
I slipped into some more questioning. I guess you'd call this doubt as to what should I do with myself? The ideas for letters came back up again. And I looked on Amazon. None of my books are selling. That's okay. It's not supposed to. Do you think I should just be able to instantly put books up and sell them? But in my experience, I'll figure out something.
I had a great talk with my sister this morning, too. We talked for an hour and caught up on everything, and it was so great to hear how she was doing, and she leaves me wanting to write some more letters. My other sister is not a big phone talker, and I'm not a big texter, so I think I'll write everyone else I don't keep up with that much. I'll just write them letters, like family, friends, write letters to keep up. Anybody I don't talk on the phone that much with, because sometimes it's just too much to talk on the phone. Especially if you don't talk to somebody all the time. But maybe I can build up to talking on the phone if I send letters over time to somebody. So I've got lots of envelopes and stuff from my door drops that I was going to do. I got lots of paper. So I'll get in the habit of cranking out some more letters to people. I got everything cleaned up in the house too while talking to my sister, which was great.
After I get home from the hot yoga flow, I eat and then go pick the kids up. I grab them from school and bring them home. We lay around the house for a little bit. And then my ex-wife comes over to my house and we take a walk over to the dog park at Crescent Lake. I have a great conversation with my ex-wife there. And we talk about all the different changes we're going through in our lives. And we reminisce a little bit. And she talks about she wants to take the kids on the same road trip with her parents that they went on last year, without me, and I'm happy to not go. I'll watch the dogs, and I didn't even want to go that much last year when we were married, and I'm glad today that I'm so excited about where my life is. After we walk home from the dog park, my ex-wife heads out, and the kids go over to hang out with their friends across the street right after that.
I'm powering through the rest of Mark Manson's book at double speed, which I rented from the library. How cool is that? I'm remembering to check the library. I listen to audiobooks on Audible, Spotify, and I'm remembering now to use the library because I listen to so many books that it can save me a decent amount of money every month. It's kind of fun to just go through all the different listening apps and formats and try that out. My mom comes over a little after seven while the kids are over having dinner with their friends after I clean everything in the house. I vacuum, clean all the dishes, get everything ready for the kids' lunches. My mom comes over. The kids come home. My son does his reading and homework with her. And all of us, well, I already took a shower in the afternoon, but the kids take showers. We all get ready for bed. I get them in bed about 9:30 and say goodnight to my mom. Then I read a little bit of The Unknown Reality by Jane Roberts and notes by Robert Butts, another one of the Seth books. I love how that book just expands my mind.
And throughout the day, I've had some doubt come in with my work again. But I go to bed thinking, you know, I'm choosing faith. All signs have been pointing me to books. But in this world, Mark Manson's book kind of wraps up talking about how AI is the god that we need, basically, if I could summarize it. His book's called Everything's Fucked, a book on hope. Basically, the hope is that AI will rule us better than we rule ourselves. This was written in 2019, so he's pretty ahead of the curve on this. I'm thinking in this world of AI, AI has a lot of limitations. AI can crawl data on the internet. It can play 2D games like chess. It can figure out lots of stuff in terms of putting words and information together. But when it comes to interacting in the real world, AI needs human beings to do stuff. To me, we can have a nice partnership. AI can be a very valuable tool, but AI is no substitute for loneliness. Loneliness is at record levels today. Talking to AI often ends up being an exercise in cosigning my own bullshit. As I've seen, AI thinks everything I'm going to do is a great idea, but it's not. I'm figuring, you know, where can I fit into this world going forward in a world where people are generating all kinds of AI slop books? And here I am trying to write books also. Where do I fit into this? Well, I pray for inspiration from that, from my dreams.
I'm still thinking about the woman from my yoga class today as well. I talked to my sister about her and she said to let me know how class goes Friday. And what's exciting thinking about her is whether it's her or another girl like her, it's a sign of what's to come. And I am very grateful for the entire journey, the entire adventure, that anticipation, the not knowing, the wondering. That's fun because, you know, that's what kind of sets up the joy of having the connection, of having everything materialize into form. The experience of being able to see it beforehand. And to be prepared for it is a sacred, beautiful experience.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.