This is my journal entry from February 21, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
I'm up today and ready to go to the 8:30 a.m. AA meeting. How anonymous is that? I get out there and I'm really happy to see some familiar faces and I share where my life's at and talk to a few others after the meeting. I'm feeling pretty like down and sad today. The AA meeting picks me up a little bit. But I still end up feeling a bit down and sad afterwards. Listening to a voice in my head that says, you know, girls don't like me and there's something wrong with them and all that. I head out to go to the yoga class at 10 a.m. at my yoga studio. I get there and I don't see anybody I know, even though there's so many people there. I put my mat down up in the front row and at one point the instructor asks for us to look around and make eye contact with somebody we haven't seen before. I can't even see anybody trying to look at me. I feel all alone in this class of like 50 people. We have a nice workout and a good sweat. Then afterwards, I also have a good cry. Just letting the sadness out. Like, man, I feel all alone in this class of all these people. My mind's starting to suggest more ways of coping and avoiding like video games.
I get up after the class and walk over to get my stuff, taking my time to fill my water bottle and seeing if anybody wants to be friendly. I see a girl that looks familiar, but I don't recognize her right away. I ask her. She said hi to me, and I think she said hi to me another time. I said, you look familiar. Do I know you? She said, yeah, you came to get a few massages with me. Like, oh, man, I've spent hours with this girl and paid her hundreds of dollars. I didn't recognize her at yoga and I hadn't seen her in like six months either. I tell her I'll check and maybe I can schedule a massage with her since my massage therapist and a friend are both going to be out of town the same week. Then I see a woman I met at yoga again, who I talked to the other day about how both of us don't believe in germ theory. And I was happy I remembered her name. I tell her that I feel like I'm all alone in this class. And it doesn't seem like she's very interested in hearing it. She listens a little bit, but then heads out. Like, well, at least I was honest.
I head back to my car and head home to shower and clean up, eat lunch and be ready whenever the kids are going to be ready later. I got a lot of time this afternoon. And I got a clear target in my sights for how to use it. Today's the day we're going to knock the taxes out. I was almost finished before I got my Coinbase crypto form so I can see how much crypto I've sold. So we're going to get after it today. I finished the rest of the taxes in a couple hours, which I'm so happy to be done with that. And I'm really happy getting over $8,000 back in my tax refund. Right now, I essentially got myself about minus 10 grand net in debt versus what I took on cards versus what I have in a bank in cash still, and this will put me close back to zero, which is so good. I feel so relieved financially, like this is enough to buy me at least a month, if not a couple of months more runway even at zero. And I'm really grateful that my ex-wife allowed me to apply all the estimated taxes to my taxes. And I hardly earned any income last year, you know, maybe $20,000 or so, mostly from crypto. And that's net, so I earned more than that, but then the expenses from the business canceled it out. I think it was like $50,000 or so in total income and like $30,000 in expenses, which then gets us to like $20,000 in profit, which I hardly had to pay any tax on, which was awesome. My ex-wife will be taking the two kids as child tax credits, so she should be getting some good money back too. After finishing the taxes, I go ahead and follow my annual report, checking two big things off that my mind kept reminding me to do. I figure I definitely want to get these things done before I work on the next business. But now that I'm cleared up with those things, now I feel ready to tackle the next business and get to work making money.
I have a friend. She texts me that she's doing a comedy show in a couple weeks, and I say I'll come to it. I started thinking, man, I want to do a comedy show. Like I got all these dark jokes and I write like 10 more. I got like 50 pretty dark jokes. And I'm thinking, all right, maybe I'll do my own comedy show. And March 13th is going to be Friday the 13th. So I'm like, all right, let me try that. I called to talk to the guy from the venue that my massage therapist connected me with, a local venue owner. And he says I need to pay $25 a month plus a $10 initiation fee plus like $50 to rent the venue for an hour plus 30 minutes before and after. And then I'd need to have insurance for my event also. I'm like, damn it. That's just a little bit too much. I guess I should just have it for free at my house, not even charge for it. But still, the venue owner invites me to go out. They have this new bed and breakfast place walking distance from my house. I'm like, all right, I'll go try that and check it out as a venue.
I walk over. I get my clothes on, my nice clothes on, walk over, and he assures me the pizza crust is ancient grains, fermented longer than usual, digests great, good for you. I get a veggie pizza, no cheese, and talk with the venue owner and his partner. Then I sit down at the table they've got at their bed and breakfast. I made a $20 donation for my pizza, and as I'm waiting for my pizza, a couple of guys come up to also check out this pizza place. They know the owners and they see me sitting by myself at a table that could sit six. So they both sit down next to me, which I really appreciate. I'm like, thank you. I start talking to them. It turns out all three of us used to be in law enforcement. What are the odds of that? Now, I'm actually wondering, you know, what percentage of the U.S. population has been in law enforcement. And I'm searching for that now just because I'm interested to see. And so only less than 1% currently works. But like how many historically? Like I'm wondering how many has ever been historically. So the AI is having a hard time giving me a clear answer of that. So it doesn't know exactly, but it's got to be a pretty small amount of people that have been in law enforcement before. Thus, you know, what are the odds of three random people sitting down and two been in law enforcement. That was pretty cool. I had a nice conversation with them, asked about their lives. And then I headed back home.
Right after I get home, my son arrives and he sits on the porch for a while trying to wait. And I text the girl's mom across the street. And I'm like, just go knock on her door. She might not have her phone. Like 20 minutes goes by. He's sitting there being shy. And I'm like, just go knock on her door. It's no big deal. And then her mom actually comes out and sees us and brings him over. So he hangs out with her for like an hour. Well, I go around cleaning the house up and folding laundry, washing dishes. Then I take him and her to the park. My daughter's sleeping over with a friend tonight. They show me how to play Cherry Cherry, which I still am not sure I understand. We played hide and seek, went on the swings, and we ran around the park 10 times. My son came up with the idea they should run around the swings 10 times, so I thought I'd one-up him by why don't we run around the whole park 10 times. My son lapped me twice. Now, I can get to a faster maximum speed than my 7-year-old son, but he can run like full speed for a surprisingly long time and he's very agile and small. It's easier for him to run fast and change directions where it's hard for me to get up to full speed and then change directions quickly in the small park. So I was so proud of my little son. I'm like, man, one day he's going to dominate me in everything athletically. And I accept that fate. I love that.
I also meet one of the moms from the neighborhood. And she's there with her boyfriend and he's there with his daughter also. And they say they met online. She gets me wishing like, man, maybe I should have just kept going with the dating apps. I might have met somebody again. Is this matchmaking ever going to work? I'm not even in the matchmaking pool yet. My mind goes off on that, starting with the fear and doubt and uncertainty. Although I should go back and read my own books to see how bad I was feeling on the dating apps, right? I take the kids home. My mother arrives with the dog. And we pet the dog. Talk to my mother. The girl from across the street hangs out for a little bit. And then my mother says goodnight. My son gets in bed. I walk her out to the car. And then I get in bed with my son for a reasonable weekend bedtime. A little after 9:30.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.