On February 5, 2023, it was 10 a.m. and I was at Sunday Yoga Flow again with Emily as the instructor, and the girl I have a crush on was there again. I was honest with her. She asked, "How's your day been going?" and I said, "All day I've been wondering if you were going to be at this class or not." She seemed to really like that. She seemed to really appreciate the attention and to know that I'm thinking about her. We talked some more during class. As usual, I absolutely love doing yoga right next to her. It's the absolute best part of my week by far.
The guy on the bike
We went to walk out today and we were having our usual great conversation, getting to know each other, when this guy on a bike — as we were both going down the ramp in front of the class to exit — butts into the conversation and starts demanding both of our attention, interrupting us and hogging all the conversation. At which point the yoga crush girl waves and says, "See you later." Obviously she couldn't stand this guy interrupting, and I left about as angry as I get. I'm like, how dare this guy butt into the little bit of really exciting conversation I get to have every week.
How irrational my anger was
At the same time, I was thinking about how irrational that thought is. I already have a wife, and nobody's bothering her, nobody's interrupting our time together besides the kids, I guess. I've already got a home. And it's like you just rewound to 15 years ago when you're single and getting frustrated about other dudes getting in the way. What is going on here? I don't know what's going on here, but I really hope this is not the last time I see this girl, because out of all the interactions we've had, that was by far the worst one we've had so far. I hope she wants to keep seeing me — but God, it'd be so much easier if it just ended.
Most of the time I fantasize, forget about your boyfriend, meet me at the hotel. But at this point it's been almost two months and I haven't made any kind of move. I've been very friendly, and there's this intense energy there, but what are we doing here? I wonder if she's hoping that I will advance things, or if she's hoping I won't. I feel like we're pretty much in sync, and that we're probably thinking the same kind of thoughts, and that she's probably wondering what she's doing here too. I hope she's not suffering as much as I am, wondering about her life.
She mows her own lawn
I told her I noticed she was much more tan today, and she said she mowed the lawn. I thought, wow, this girl's out there actually mowing her own lawn. My wife's not the kind of girl that mows our lawn, to be sure — it's either pay somebody for it, or I mow the lawn now. And I'm like, wow, that's really hot. But then again, my wife does everything else around the house besides the stuff I do, like the yard and the dishes. My wife does a heck of a lot, and I feel so guilty, like I'm not appreciating her properly. So I'm going to try and appreciate her properly today.
Maybe I'm the one who got boring
To be fair, I'm there at everything I should be there for. Maybe my wife feels kind of the same way about me that I do. Maybe I'm becoming boring in our relationship. Maybe I'm the one who is not very interesting with her. Maybe I've stopped doing some of the things that she really liked. We're definitely going to need to talk about this, because right now I can see these things are going on, and we're going to have to communicate and figure out where I can be a better husband if this marriage is going to keep going.
If you've followed this part of my life, you can read more in The Yoga Girl Date Story, and I keep sharing these honest moments in my Dating playlist.