This is my journal entry from August 6, 2025, part of my daily autobiography Author in St. Petersburg — my real, unedited days, published in order.
Today was another clearing-out day. I gathered roughly a thousand dollars’ worth of monitors, lighting equipment, stands, and microphone arms and delivered them to a video production business I found on Google Maps. Selling that kind of gear at a pawn shop didn’t seem realistic, and I wanted it gone quickly. Keeping old equipment in the house makes me feel as though I’m standing still. I want to write books, but it’s hard to pour myself into that work while surrounded by relics of my past life in video production.
Clearing out the old to make room for the new isn’t just a metaphor — it’s a practical necessity. Still, I noticed a flicker of resistance before making the call. Part of me wanted to just dump everything at Salvation Army and be done. Yet these small decisions matter. Choosing where something goes can make a real difference. The owner of the video production business was thrilled. He said it was enough gear for one of their interns to set up a full studio at home — essentially the same kind of livestreaming setup I used to run. That made me happy. It felt better to give the equipment to people who could truly use it, rather than to a donation center where someone might look at it and wonder what it even was.
That resistance I felt — the irrational urge to avoid a new place or interaction — is the same mental block that keeps people from opportunities. Today I was glad I pushed through it.
This morning I played tennis with a friend, starting at 10:30. The first three games were a disaster; my shots were sloppy and I couldn’t find my rhythm. Then something shifted. I started hitting clean, confident shots and took four of the next five games. At that point, my friend said the heat was getting to him. We stopped at 4–4. He felt bad about ending early on a tie, but I told him the real solution was to adjust. August tennis in St. Petersburg at 10:30 a.m. is brutal. Starting earlier makes far more sense. He’ll need to rearrange his schedule, but I’m looking forward to trying again a couple of hours earlier next week, when the sun isn’t as oppressive.
The game was a reminder that sometimes surrendering, making an adjustment, and accepting reality is the smartest path forward. I had warmed up with a power yoga class that morning, and while I’ll miss that class when we move tennis earlier, I’m fortunate to have so many yoga options. I love the teachers, the students, and the sense of community, and I’m always open to deepening relationships or making new connections.
I’ve also been expanding my network of massage therapists. I don’t want to get stuck without someone to see. Four months ago, I met a girl at my yoga studio who was working toward her massage license. She came to mind again today, and I realized she should be licensed by now. I’d held off contacting her until she was ready or I saw her again in person, but today I finally sent a message. She responded enthusiastically. Starting out as a new massage therapist can be difficult — you get scheduled heavily or not at all, make very little money, and struggle to build a client base. She offered to work at my place, her place, or the spa where she’s employed. I chose her place so she could keep the full payment without a middleman. We set an appointment for Saturday, and I already have another massage scheduled for Monday with an existing therapist. This is partly about trying something new, but also about having enough therapists in rotation to get massages every four or five days instead of just once a week.
I took the kids to an ice cream shop, stopped by PetSmart, went to my Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and wrapped up another good day. The only hiccup was my son melting down in the middle of his haircut — a sharp reminder that even the best days have their unpredictable moments.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.