I'm a full-time YouTuber, and it's day 5,026 on YouTube. This is March 3rd, and this vlog is part of my autobiography, my life story told 10 minutes at a time, one day at a time. I really wish everybody had something like this, so I'm going to lead by example. I'm narrating it the next day, so I have the whole day to tell you about. March 3rd, a Monday, was a very full day.
A $5 Fine to Start the Morning
It started with getting the kids ready and taking them to school. The first thing that happened was I got out of bed and Madeline was trying to feed the dog. She yanked the door and ripped the handle clean off while Jack had his hands on it, and he started crying. I said, "Five dollar fine, Madeline. Five dollar fine to start the day off. Good morning, that'll be $5 off your balance." In my experience, money is such an effective mechanism for punishment and rewards. It works. As a parent, you don't really need anything besides money to help your kids learn right and wrong, so to speak.
Power Flow Yoga and a Few Honest Words
Then I went to a Power Flow yoga class. The instructor is very pregnant and going to have her baby soon. She led a nice flow, and I told her, "Pregnancy has really looked beautiful on you." What I didn't say to her was what I was actually thinking: some women go downhill while pregnant, putting on a ton of weight, their whole body starting to look a mess and stressed. But this yoga instructor really enjoyed being pregnant. Yes, there are pains and challenges, but she enjoyed it, and I thought being pregnant made her look even prettier than when she wasn't. I often don't say things like that because I don't want to be vulnerable or have a woman think I'm coming on to her. But this instructor has known me for years. She's not going to think I'm coming on to her, and she's pregnant. I always appreciate it when people tell me things like that too, so it felt good to tell her.
There was another girl in class I'd seen for quite a while but never talked to, and I was wondering, is she pregnant now too? She was telling somebody else she was pregnant, and I was glad to hear it because I wanted to ask. During the first trimester or two, you're really rolling the dice asking a woman you don't know whether she's pregnant as the first thing you say to her. So that was cool. I met some new people at yoga.
Tennis With a Man Who Could Be My Dad
Then I went to play tennis with a guy at the racquet club whose oldest son was born the same year as me. So I kind of feel like I'm playing tennis with another version of my dad, or six other people's dads, actually. The first set, he won 7-5. This is a guy who I think hadn't played singles in years. The first time I played him, I think I won by a little bit, or maybe he did. The second or third time we played, I whooped him, won something like 6-1, 6-2. Then the last several times, he's won. This time the first set was 7-5, but the second set he was playing great and I was playing badly, and he won 6-0.
I started to spiral a little at the end of it, thinking, "My tennis game is so bad, I suck so much." But I'm also so inspired by this guy. He came out there and beat me 6-0, and he could be my dad. I find that so inspiring. He told me he's a doctor and a dentist, and I thought, God, that's a lot of education. He said he was going to go fix somebody's face later that day and then go see his son in Orlando. I sent him an ICP video afterward. In all the time I'd hung out with him, I'd never asked what he did. I generally try to avoid asking people what they do because it's such a boring question, and I'd rather it come up naturally. But Laura wanted to know. She asked, "What does this guy do? He's a member at the Racquet Club, a member at the Vinoy." So I told him my wife wanted me to ask. Now it makes sense, a doctor and a dentist, that's a lot of education and should be a good income.
An Affordable Lunch and a Single Video
Then I went home and got one single autobiography video done. I'd filmed so many videos on Sunday, which is technically two days ago now, that I only needed one more before I took a shower. I also went to lunch with Laura, even though we'd just gone to lunch on Friday, so it felt luxurious to go again on Monday. We went to Fresh Kitchen. It was busy, but I got a seat right away and she ordered. It was pretty affordable, only $31 for lunch, and Laura took a lot of hers to go. Then she took a nap while I showered and picked the kids up. Laura was originally going to pick them up, but in exchange for her time going out on a date, I disrupted her nap plan and picked them up myself. That was great, because as soon as I got home with the kids, I was off to my massage at 4 p.m., so I wouldn't see them much the rest of the night.
The Massage, the Hemorrhoid, and an Epsom Salt Bath
This is a therapist I really like. I work with two therapists, and she's the one I prefer. I thought a lot about why, and it's mainly because she talks to me. I seem to like people better when they talk to me, because I feel like I get to know them better. But I'm also opening my mind to the idea that talking is not the only way to be comfortable with or get to know people. I had a great conversation with her and told her about my little hemorrhoid. She asked if there were any issues with my body, and this is the second time with her where I wanted to talk about my little hemorrhoid. She suggested, "I had a friend who had that issue, and she said soaking in an Epsom salt bath was really helpful." I asked her for advice because she's a massage therapist but also into all kinds of other healing, and she shared that soaking in an Epsom salt bath had really helped her friend.
It was nice that she went a little over on time too. I always appreciate a little extra, so I gave a good tip. It was $180 for 90 minutes, but she went almost two hours. I asked Laura what a good tip is and gave her $240 for the nearly two hours, though I'll probably give $240 for 90 minutes going forward, which is actually less. For perspective, I've scheduled an in-person ICP session to help a guy locally I've known for years, and he's going to give me $300 for an hour. So $240 for an almost two-hour massage is a fantastic deal for me, especially leaving with some clear things to do. I went straight to Rolling Oats afterward and bought some Epsom salts, then went to an AA meeting right after that. I came home around 7:45, said goodnight to the kids, dumped two cups of Epsom salt in the bath, and focused on being still and relaxing.
Letting Go of a Months-Long Family Issue
Out of this whole healing day, and a session two days before, came something bigger. I'd talked to Laura about fixing things with a family member. I had a good cry and realized the obvious thing to do was exactly what Laura said. I'd asked her what to do, and she said to apologize and to state that I'm going to move on with kindness and compassion in the relationship. So that's what I did. I had this big long thing in my head, so I took the time in the bath to simplify it. I thought about this family member and their personality and everything I know about them, and I asked myself, "What format would they prefer the apology in?" From their point of view, I figured I'd rather just get a text message, and it should be short and to the point, not some long thing. It should address what I did wrong, what I wish I'd done differently, how I feel about them, that I'm grateful for the relationship, and then ask if there's anything I can do to make things right. It was probably four sentences. It didn't even take up the whole text message screen.
I sent the message, cried, and thought, "Finally, after months of making this issue, I'm letting it go." It's really nice to realize that I made this issue for months. I hadn't talked to this person in months. It's my responsibility to send the message. It's not my responsibility to get a reply or anything else. I just need to do my part, and my part is to send the apology and make the amends. In Alcoholics Anonymous, Step 10 says that when I've been wrong, I promptly admit it. In this case, it took three months to promptly admit it, which is better than going a whole lifetime. I got it done.
I felt really relaxed after the bath. I went over to talk to my mom, then came back to share with Laura, who thought the message was just perfect, which left me feeling really good. I didn't get any reply that night, which is fine. If somebody has been ignoring you, upset with you, and telling everybody else about it for three months, yeah, you might want a few minutes to think about it. I also realized something. One reason I've been critical of this family member is that they like to keep things private and not talk about everything with everybody, and I've thought about the times in their life when, if they'd asked for help and talked a little more, they could have avoided some really difficult experiences.
The Things We Criticize in Others
But then I remembered during my massage that, yes, I've certainly avoided a lot of negative experiences. I've avoided dying an alcoholic death because I opened up and talked. But I've also gotten myself into trouble. I've lost what probably would be millions of dollars in followers because of running my mouth and not thinking before doing radical things, like changing my race, or criticizing the platform over and over until they banned me. I wasn't violating the terms. I was just irritating them because I wouldn't shut up, wouldn't stop criticizing them, and wouldn't just be quiet and take the money they were giving me.
So it's often the things that other people bother us about that turn out to be things we need to face within ourselves. If I'm being critical of someone who's different from me, I'm usually having my own version of the same trouble on the other end. It's really nice to appreciate that there are different ways to exist in the world, and each of those ways has validity. We don't all have to be the same, act the same, talk the same, or think the same. But in the end, we all end up having pretty similar ups and downs and experiences. I'm really grateful. This felt like a truly therapeutic, healing day. If you've been following along with my Life playlist wondering when this family member thing was going to end, I'm glad we could wrap it up today.