This is my journal entry from January 31, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
Can't believe it's going to be February tomorrow. The rent is due. And it's cold as a bitch up in here. I've got the heat on 64 right now and the emergency heat cranked on to try and keep up. Right now, it's 39 degrees and it says it feels like it's 22. I'm like, yeah, this feels as cold as Michigan. Right before recording this, I just took a walk around Crescent Lake wearing a sweater, a shirt, one layer of pants and a mammoth cave jacket that I had bought with my ex-wife last summer. Took a nice walk and I've been listening to a book a lot today. It's called I Forgot to Die by Khalil Rafidi. Fantastic book that my friend recommended to me about a guy in the depths of his alcoholism and drug addiction.
The day started off waking up feeling like I've got to jump into my books today. I had all this energy and enthusiasm for my books pouring through and I'm still like feeling the euphoria of that business idea and vision that I poured myself into dictating the chapter that I called Facebook Gaming in my book, Un-effin' Myself. I dictated an hour and 45 minute long chapter straight through, which really is long enough to dictate a whole book. And I should only need like one more full chapter to cover 2022 to 2025, and then maybe an epilogue and an intro. I'm so close to finishing this book, and I realize that, yes, I'll have some books that are bigger, longer books, and some books that are shorter, and that's okay. This is un-effing myself, my full life story book, and it makes sense that it's going to be a deeper book that I'll reference consistently in other books that will be shorter. I am so hyped about writing all these books. It's just an amazing business system where the books will recommend each other. I'll consistently send people to my website.
Then I get a surprise. A guy messages me at five in the morning asking for help with his ICP wallet. I message him back a few hours later saying, you can go to my website and schedule a Zoom call. I just added the Zoom calls yesterday for $222.22 for an hour. He drops the $200 immediately, just within a few minutes of me scheduling, sending the text. And I'm really happy to see a paid call. And that's good money I just made in cash while it's coming into my bank account. That feels fantastic. It's funny, I used to take those calls for granted and get to hate them. But now, thank God, this dude already scheduled several calls with me. And yet I forgot to even put yoga on my calendar. So he actually schedules it right when my yoga class ends. I asked him if we can bump it back 30 minutes or an hour. And he says, sure, we can bump it back 30 minutes, which is perfect.
I go to my yoga class at noon at a yoga studio, and as usual, I'm looking for the perfect place to put my mat. I find one between two beautiful girls, neither of them with wedding rings. One's with their friend, the other one appears by herself. She has her name on her cup. I've never met her before, and I still didn't meet her today. I didn't talk to her. I was more consumed with the girl on the other side of me. This girl's just gorgeous. She's wearing socks. And she's kind of awkward doing the class. I wonder if it's the one I talked to before or a different one. I don't know, but she's gorgeous. And as one of my standard practices, I offer to take her blocks back. But her and her friend have so many blocks, she ends up carrying them back too. I don't end up talking to her at all. But just being next to her feels really good. Especially thinking one day I'm going to have another wife that looks like this. And man, that feels good.
I'm thinking like this is what faith is. A knowing of what's coming and a gratitude and a joy that it's coming. That's the opposite of fear. Like, oh, it's not going to happen. Faith is knowing I want what's coming to me. And you know what's coming and the excitement builds when it's not here. When there's no one that I know right now that wants to be my second wife that I would have. And yet I know the girl that we're going to both be really excited to be together. I know she's on her way and I'm on my way to her. And that is exciting. It's funny as I get there, I'm cold when I walk in the studio. I heat up, but don't get to sweating too much. And then as cold as hell going back outside and I'm shivering at home. I knocked out a thing of guacamole this morning while working on my book.
I then have jumped straight into the call as soon as I get home. The guy has several different computers that he wants his ICP wallet all to work on. Between using his Zoom phone camera and the screen share on his iPhone, I get his wallet working on every different device. He has two different Mac computers, a Windows computer and an iPhone. And based on what he shows me, I figure it all out and he gets it working. I find that he's got $15,000 sitting in his wallet, a couple thousands in dumb coins. And I say, just move that back to your wallet. He hadn't even remembered he hardly had anything over there. And he ends up with $2,000 more in his main wallet than he had to start the call. So he was pretty happy with that. We wrapped up after an hour and I really enjoyed having the call with him. And a great reminder of like, you know, what if people all over the world are willing to pay me for coaching and support me, and they want to talk on Zoom on the phone, I'll do that. I'd like to have some local clients too. But at the same time, if it's going to work for me to be an international author, I'll take it. And I'll do as much in person as I can. But I already do a lot in person. What's funny is creating books, though, doesn't feel like I'm working online. And I'm happy if someone has to pay me $200 an hour. I'll take it. I was sitting in the yoga class feeling like, I wonder what these girls would think if they see my body and how I'm doing this yoga. Now I tell them that I'm getting paid $200 an hour to talk to someone on Zoom right after this. I wonder who throws themselves at me with that information in mind.
After I have the call with him, I head over to my ex-wife's house because my daughter is taking a bit of a rest after her day. I go over and I have a salad with the fresh lettuce on my ex-wife's garden. My ex-wife goes in and takes a nap. It feels like old times where one of the main times I used to spend with the kids was when my ex-wife would go and take a rest during the day. And it's funny to be back in her house with her taking a nap. It feels like old times, but at the same time, it feels like everything's changed. I feel a great level of acceptance about it. And for that, I'm super thankful.
My son really wants to play the Harry Potter deck building game, so he really wants to play the seventh game within it too. It has seven different games and as you keep evolving and getting better at the game you get more villains and it gets harder and harder. My son and I tackle the seventh game which introduces horcruxes and gives you Lord Voldemort at 20 health plus adding to the location every time. But my son and I managed to knock the game out. We keep the location on the first one every time. And my son's learning how to play the game so well that I don't have to tell him what to do or suggest what he should do most of the time. He's just plowing through and making his own decisions. It's beautiful to see how fast he learns and to remember how much I loved customizable card games at his age. We knock him out. He's thrilled. And we have a great time. My ex-wife gets up. We chat and plan for the week a little bit. I give my daughter some hugs. I give my ex-wife a hug, tell everybody I love them. And I head out.
I got an AA meeting I'm going to tonight, to meet a woman that I've known since she first got sober. This was a woman who the first time she walked up to me and I met her, she said that she thought about my share every day since she'd seen me. And I said, what did I say? I mean, it'd been weeks since I'd seen her. I didn't hardly remember her from the meeting. It was an outside meeting. She said, what you said is that this was when the hurricanes came through in St. Petersburg in 2024. On the night that Hurricane Helene came through, my now ex-wife's house flooded three inches. And we were going to, it was 1 a.m. in the morning. And yes, there were a couple hours where I was aggravated. I'm like, the fuck is this bullshit? I can't believe this house flooded for the first time since it was built in the 60s. This is ridiculous. And then I felt bad that I didn't take it seriously and barricade the door, stop some of the water from coming in.
And then I relaxed and I started saying, thank you. I'm like, you know what? I am God. I'm the creator of all reality. I manifested this. I accept that. This is fine. This will make for a nice little adventure. And you know what? Thank you. Thank you. This is going to be fun. You know what? This is going to be fun. And I trust the process. I went to bed in the room with the kids. I put my hand down next to the bed and I could feel a couple inches of water on my fingers. I went to bed saying, thank you. You know what? Thank you. I'm up for this challenge. Thank you that I'm healthy enough and strong enough to handle this. Thank you that we can stay in the house. Thank you that it's not worse, that this is it. And we went to bed after it stopped rising. I said, thank you. I can handle this. This is going to be fun. I woke up the next day. We cleaned the shit out of the house for 16 hours. And then I shared at the AA meeting, where I had said that even in the middle of my house flooding, I said, thank you. And this woman just got this euphoric hit from that, being like, man, I want to be that grateful in my life. She was in early sobriety, and hearing that was just blowing her mind. And she's loved me ever since then.
She doesn't come to the meeting at my home group anymore, but she has a home group that's a bit of a drive from my house, and she's frequently inviting me up there, but I've always said, eh, it's too far, but now that I'm single, and I got my nice clothes and shit, and I'm not doing anything this Saturday night, I'm like, you know what, I think I'm gonna go up there, so I texted her this morning, I said, hey, I'm gonna come up to your meeting tonight, you gonna be there? She said, yep, really excited to see you. And I got there and her sponsor, you know, I love her sponsor too. Her sponsor's one of the longest people in AA who's known me, longer than anybody else up here, and I love her. She's got a fantastic story and she helps so many people in the program. And the woman I went to visit, her sponsee was also there as well, and there are several other attractive women there that met me too and enthusiastically introduced me. I brought one of the guys from the home group that I talk on the phone a lot too. And he was happy to come up there and meet this woman that he's heard so much about.
And it was a great night up there. I enjoyed the drive up listening to the book, I Forgot to Die. And I had a great time talking to everybody, especially the woman I went up there as the main one to see, although I wanted to see her sponsor and sponsee and this other guy too. She loved my outfit. She said, you look so handsome. She's dating someone, but she is someone I would absolutely consider dating if she was single. And at the same time, I don't know if there's that much chemistry on her end there or what. She is the one who told me before that, you know, the first thing she notices about a guy is his shirt. So she gave me a big hug. She's like, you look so handsome in that outfit. And it was really nice. She said you swung completely opposite. Like you used to dress, you know, all the way on the bottom. And now you swung all the way the opposite way. And I'm like, yeah, if I'm going to change how I dress, I might as well try and look as nice as possible. Right. It felt great to go there and talk with everybody at the same time.
It's silly what I think should happen sometimes. I think I should just meet the love of my life and bring her home at any time. I think that's kind of unreasonable. But it was cool. I met a mom up there who's moving back to town. And I got to see friends. It was a nice meeting. I drove home and continued listening to the book. And then I threw on my layers, went for a walk around Crescent Lake. And I'm so grateful to be here right now, to have this beautiful space that I've got this house in. I'll be paying my second month of rent tomorrow. And I just love where I'm at. I love my business idea. I'm so grateful for everybody who's helped me get through this divorce and some of the down times that I spiraled through. I called my sister tonight and she was at work still, but at 8.30. She sent me a text saying we'll catch up soon.
And man, I'm feeling so grateful. I feel totally in the zone. And I really want to just hold on to this feeling, like just stay in the zone, stay in that joyful place. And it's funny, I wonder, like, how the hell do I get out of this place? I know that writing a book, the books is a big part of staying in this place. It really like dumping that hour and 45 minute book dictation. And then as soon as I finish this, I'm going to get to work editing all that so it's ready. And then catching up on these diary entries. And then I'll go to bed. I know that writing is one of these things that leaves me feeling good. And some of the worst days I've had have been when I didn't do it. And some of the times I've started to spiral out have been like when I was trying to distribute all these letters and stuff. But really? The letters I wrote recently are great templates for books. It's like, just write that as a book. And instead of it being a letter that dropped on people's doorsteps, it can be a book that's there indefinitely.
I did hear a funny story from one of my friends. He said that this girl he knows freaked out a bit when she comes home and she sees this letter that says help written on it. And she tears it open wondering if somebody's been abducted or something. Like, all right, I guess we're not going for that effect, really. And what I am going for the effect, though, that my books do help people. And I'm trying the Amazon ads today. I updated the bids on them. They got 2,000 impressions today. One click for 99 cents. But shit, it was 99 cents. And hey, Amazon showed my ads around 2,000 times for a dollar. That sounds good. I figure if I can get that many impressions, and if I can actually make some sales, this is all going to work good. I'm so grateful for the validation, too, of this guy scheduling a call with me. This guy has so much money all over the place in crypto. I'm grateful he gave some of it to me. And I'm grateful that I'm right here right now. And I'm really excited to see how long I can stay in this place and where we go from here.
I remember, as I'm going back through my un-effing myself life story book, you know, the times like 2015 where I was setting everything to blow up on Udemy, it just seems magical right now. And the times I was gaming in like 2018, 2019, where I was laying the seeds of all that, you know, blowing up on Facebook and hitting those retro gaming streams on Facebook. Like so many of these times, you know, it just seemed magical when I was laying that foundation for all the sharing with people and getting all the things I'd wanted. And I feel like that again. I'm like, this is a magical time where I have so much time to just knock these books out. And because the more coaching calls I get the less time I'm gonna have to write books, and when some beautiful woman comes along and wants to go everywhere and do everything with me, that's gonna cut into my book time too. And it's gonna cut into the time with my kids. It's precious now I can have these three overnights with my kids, because if I start spending a lot of nights with someone, well, some of the overnights with my kids could slip, or maybe I'll have a girlfriend here for the overnights with them too. I would love that. But I'm really happy with the way things are today, and I feel like that's the best place any of us can get to, is being happy with where things are today. And I'm also excited about what's coming.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.