This is my journal entry from November 19, 2025, part of my daily autobiography Divorce Day — my real, unedited days, published in order.
I finally beat a friend in two straight sets today, and it felt incredible. After playing him regularly for over a year, winning both sets—and the match—was deeply satisfying. The first set was tight and competitive, ending in a tiebreaker, and somehow I completely blew him out once we got there. In the second set, we stayed neck and neck again, but I managed to close it out 7–5. A friend even said afterward that it wasn’t like he played badly—I was just playing really well. I felt that too. I was super consistent, forcing him to go for winners, while occasionally landing some clean ones myself. My little slicing serve, the one that barely drops over the net, worked beautifully, especially when I mixed it in with harder serves. I can still steal aces with it. We played from 11:00 a.m. until about 1:30 p.m. out in the sun. I took my shirt off for the second set and wore my visor so my face wouldn’t burn. I love that I can still get out there and play like this. We had a good conversation too, which made it even better.
Earlier in the day, I worked on getting more of my events published and managed to put three more up during the daytime, then another one in the evening. That brings me to seven events live on Eventbrite already. I’m genuinely excited about how strong of a start this is. I’m hoping my assumption holds—that there’s organic traffic and that people will be willing to come to my house and pay $50 for something genuinely useful. I’ve also been absolutely tearing through an audiobook today, The Fear Cure by Lissa Rankin, MD. It’s hitting at exactly the right time. My mind still occasionally wanders into fear—what if things don’t work out—but the counterpoint feels just as valid: what if they do? Most of my life, things actually have worked out.
Today I also got the email confirming I’m approved to rent the four-bedroom, three-bath house near my family. I called the realtor right away and asked if I could bring my ex-wife and the kids over on Saturday to look at it together, just to make sure everyone feels good about it before moving forward. We’re aiming for a mid-December lease start date. When I think about this house, it feels like I’m at the top of a roller coaster, just about to go down. Right now, my expenses are stacked in an interesting way—rent, regular massages, my tennis membership, money I hand to homeless people when I run into them, and only a little each month for groceries. I’ve added personal training, plus a business loan and other business expenses, not counting one-off things like clothes.
Some of those clothes arrived today. I tried on a few of the new shirts and felt good in them. I wore a simple outfit—a T-shirt I picked up at a thrift store and a regular pair of blue khaki shorts—and my ex-wife told me it looked cute on me. That felt validating. I like that I can work on looking my best and still get that kind of confirmation from her. We had a solid AA meeting today too, and I gave the same guy a ride home again for the second day in a row since his car is still in the shop. It feels good being back in that rhythm of giving rides and being more available.
Around 7:30 p.m., I went over to see my ex-wife and the kids. My son was in a bit of a mood, but I played with them, and bedtime ended up being really nice. After that, I went over to my mom’s place. She was a little tired, but I asked if she wanted to watch Battlestar Galactica 1980. We started the first episode and realized we’d already seen it before, then moved on to the second episode, which was great. What made it even funnier was realizing that Robbie—the guy I saw the night before at David Downing’s Oh Yeah show—plays one of the main characters in Battlestar Galactica 1980. The timing of that felt ridiculous in the best way.
I enjoyed watching it, especially because I haven’t been watching TV or movies lately at all. No screens, really, aside from a little porn here and there—which I haven’t even touched in about a week. That’s actually felt great. I’ve been kicking my fantasy life back up instead, and sleeping naked, walking around naked, all of that helps more than I expected. Not having underwear constricting blood flow in the morning definitely doesn’t hurt either.
I’m honestly amazed at how steady and positive my mood has been. Ever since that Sunday night meeting, it’s now Wednesday, and I’ve had a relentlessly upbeat, optimistic attitude the entire time. Everything feels like it’s lining up in a way that’s almost comical. I’m very aware of how fortunate that feels, and I’m deeply grateful for it.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.