This is my journal entry from February 19, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
Today's the big day of meeting my matchmaker, which I'm really excited about. First, I wake up with the kids and we take our time getting ready. They make their lunches this morning. We get off to school, drop my daughter off, and my son takes the time. We read the Venus book in the back of the car, which I've read. I think I've read almost all the Planet books with him, which has been so much fun. I drive home and I am ready to meet my matchmaker. I get home and I put on a nice shirt. I prop the computer up to the right height. I find the best spot for the lighting and I get connected with my matchmaker. And I'm like, am I supposed to say her name or not? She's a very pretty girl that lives on the east coast of Florida and seems like we have some of our lives, you know, the hobbies and stuff in common. She asked me all the questions that she needs to make a good profile of me. And I have a really nice time talking to her. I feel like this is so much fun. Like I'm so grateful for her help that she can look through all the profiles and then she can verify and find women that are compatible and ready to meet me. Like I'm so grateful for her help. Like that she'll do a much better job with this than I would have because I go through all the profiles on online dating websites and get emotional and butt hurt and rejected by girls that mostly never even see me. And she's got a database of girls that are actually serious and looking for a man. And she knows which women have paid to find a man. She's got access to serious women that are looking for a husband. And that's really exciting. I'm glad she can go through all that.
We talked through the preferences. I can't put health or sobriety or weight as a deal breaker, but she notes these things. And she probably won't set me up with any unhealthy women or alcoholics, which, you know, I think that'll be great that we don't do that. You know, she's clear that she took lots of notes that I want a girl that's really healthy, like a runner, a yoga girl, etc. And I put that I'd like an active first date. I do put deal breakers down as obviously a woman that wants kids, but also the woman has to be, you know, single, never married, divorced or widowed. No separated at this time. And we'll begin the search in a 40 mile radius. And I also make it clear like I do want to live and stay in St. Pete indefinitely. I was thinking yesterday that maybe I'll move or if I need to, maybe I'll search further away. And it's like, I can meet a girl that lives in Orlando or Miami or something, but as long as it's under the context that she would need to move here, that I'm not moving until the kids are at least teenagers, which would be about five and a half, six years. I mean, by the time my son's 13, he's not going to have the same need for his dad that he does when he's seven. I mean, I remember that clearly. I did not need my parents nearly as much as a teenager. I easily could have done without my mother, especially because she was working full time. And in a lot of the relationship with her as a teenager was just rough. Like she was struggling. She worked a lot and then she was struggling with her health. And I felt like I had years where I didn't have a good relationship with her. I resented her and we didn't even spend much time together. The one thing that really repaired our relationship was I worked with her for a summer. She got me an internship at the base she was assigned to. And we spent an hour each way in the car driving together, and we shared an office. It was really nice. And that left me thinking, like, I could move away if needed and just have summers with the kids by the time they're teenagers. That would probably be fine, especially if my ex-wife had another man at that point, too. You know, the kids could have a stepfather in their life. They wouldn't need their real dad as much, which definitely could happen in like five, six years. But for now, I'm not leaving those kids. I need those kids. The kids need me and I wouldn't feel good moving off somewhere else. That was very good to get clear on.
As I slept, I woke up at four in the morning today with an edgy idea to take my show to the next level, something I thought could really stand out, and I was excited to run it by my personal trainer. Meanwhile, let's finish up the call. So my matchmaker and I have a fantastic call. And one of the funny questions she asked is the preferences for race. I was going to put no preference at all, but I don't think that's honest. And she did ask my race and I put white on there because it's just going to be too much effort to try and explain why I identify black but I look white and everybody would think I was white. So I just say white for simplicity. I ended up putting white as a preference because I do acknowledge that I'm most easily attracted to blonde white women. That said, I'm genuinely open to a Black woman, a Hispanic woman, you know, an Asian girl that really wants to have a family and takes care of herself. I'm down for all of that. And I made a joke that left myself feeling uncomfortable when she's like, you know, do you want to put your race in as a deal breaker that, you know, they have to be white? And I'm like, I made a joke. I'm like, this is the part where we find out if I'm racist or not, right? She didn't seem like she thought it was very funny or kind of got what I was saying, but I'm like, no, no, just leave it. You know, it's not a deal breaker. I'm happy to go out with a Black woman. That could be a lot of fun. Definitely happy to do that, especially since I identify as black, which I didn't say. But then I felt awkward after I made that joke.
But then I asked her what bookshelf was on her. She had like a virtual background, but I forgot it was a virtual background, even though her hair kept clipping out on the background removal effect. And she made a joke. She's like, oh, it's the book I'm Seeking a Wife by Jerry Banfield. I was like, damn, that was good. You read my profile thoroughly. Remember that? Pulled that joke in there. I'm like, well done. I am officially impressed. You brought my book in in a very relevant way and made a joke on a recorded call. I'm like, well done. By the end of the call, I feel that we have a nice harmony together, you know, as co-workers here and the same mission to find me a woman and I'm really grateful for her support. This actually seems really natural, like this is what we should be doing. Like instead of people swiping on dating apps, I should have a woman that represents me and goes out and looks for a woman for me to date because I think it's easier for women to deal with other women lots of times and to get recommended from a woman. And then you know the women should have a man that represents them. So this seems actually more natural that, you know, a woman would find a woman for me instead of me trying to directly do it. And man, I'm so glad I'm relaxed about this.
After I wrap up the matchmaker, I have a call with one of my friends and then it's time for the AA meeting. I actually forgot to even go to the AA meeting and I end up getting there 30 minutes late. But I still see a couple of people I love there. And lots of people I like. And it ends up being a great meeting, even though I was only there for half of it. I go to personal training with my personal trainer afterwards. It looks like we only have two sessions after this. And I give him all the new material. He's like, dude, you spent $7,500 on a matchmaking service? No, you didn't. I'm like, bro, I'm serious about this. Like, I'm doing this. He's like, how you aren't making money. Like, you're just putting this on credit cards. That's crazy. I'm like, I know it looks crazy. But I look at it, I got nothing to lose. If the future is bright and I'm going to make it rain, then I'm free to spend the money. If the future is dim, then fuck it anyway. If the future is dim, I might as well live and enjoy today because there's no guarantee on what kind of future you're going to get. Being divorced really reinforced that. Now, I am intending to be financially responsible and pay all these cards, and I would love to just start printing money this year, and I'm obsessed with that. I'm in a good spot for that to happen. I do another leg day with my personal trainer because my arm's been feeling good without doing those arm workouts. It seems to be helping the muscles there relax a little bit, especially I've been playing tennis constantly. There's a pretty girl that I was talking about, I think, two weeks ago. She's there again. No luck making eye contact and getting a smile from her, but whatever. I don't care anymore because I have this matchmaking service I dropped $7,500 on. Still, I leave the gym feeling a little bit rejected, but I really enjoyed my talk with my personal trainer. I tell him about my edgy business idea. He definitely agrees people need to get together and connect, but he's not sure if this is exactly the way to do it.
I go to a grocery store to shop for some groceries, and I get some creamed honey with some almond butter, which, man, I miss that. We're going to start having a little bit of that again. Cut back on the lower bar some and add that in there. Get some chips with avocado oil. It seems everybody's catching on on the seed oil thing and avocado oil shit's popping up all over. Got a grocery run going up on Thursday, baby. So I'm really excited about that. Load my card up. Somehow it costs $191. Throw that shit on a 0% interest credit card. I'm like, fuck it. YOLO. Thinking about my personal trainer talking about my money spending. I'm like, see what's going to be great when this all works out and makes a great story. And it's great that my ex-wife isn't implicated if it doesn't work out now, too. It's like I don't crash her finances if I crash mine, which is awesome. I'm about to get some tax money back anyway. Let's go.
I get home and I really want to pick the kids up today. So I text my ex-wife. She's at this conference in Tampa. Her mom was going to pick the kids up, but I'm like, let me go get them. I really want to see them again. I almost texted her twice earlier to pick the kids up, but I didn't. But this time I did. So she says she'll tell her mom to cancel and I'll go grab the kids. I get there and my daughter's like, I thought Nana was coming to get us. I'm like, I just wanted to see you loves again. So my daughter's a little thrown off by that. I bring kale chips for them and start talking to them on the way home. I tell them I'm excited about the matchmaker. Now, my sponsor says he didn't think I should be having or he wouldn't have these kind of conversations at this point in the kids lives if it was him. I believe in sharing my life genuinely with my kids so that they can share my thoughts and be prepared for the things that are coming in my life where it's not a surprise suddenly when dad has a new woman or here comes a new baby. So the kids can see where I'm at in my journey and kind of adjust their expectations and stuff. So I'm talking about that I'm definitely going to stay and I'm not going to be moving away from them because I'd talked to them before saying I might. And I like that the kids can see my real life. The kids really see me, not as some stick figure of a parent that has his shit all figured out. But it's like, I'm figuring this out in real time.
I tell them that, you know, I've got plans to, you know, meet a woman through the matchmaker. And I end up talking about some of the details. I said that I cried today when the matchmaker asked me to send a picture of my ex and some of the girls like that I have as friends that I thought were attractive. So I got a picture of a woman I'd had a crush on from an old dating profile that she put up like a decade ago, which god that's gorgeous let me tell you. I sent a couple of pictures of a friend in because she's very pretty and she's like half Korean so that you get a little diversity up in this bitch. And I sent a picture of another friend in. But I couldn't, I didn't have any good pictures of her. I got some crappy low res picture. And then I sent some pictures of a woman I had been seeing in. So bad. It's so bad, but it's so real. So I sent some pictures of her into him like I got some hot ass girls for friends. You know, actually, I don't have any ugly ass girls for friends come to think of it. And there's one woman from my recovery group that I really like. I'm not sure if she's hot. It's like, I could picture her being like, do not, do not fucking call me an ugly friend. My mind is fucked up on this right now. And then who else did I send a picture? Oh, obviously, I sent a couple of pictures of my ex-wife and me from our DC trip last summer. And I cried. I'm like, fuck, I can't believe I'm sending pictures that we took on our family road trip that the kids took to a fucking matchmaker to try and find another woman. Like, just grief. Straight up grief came up. But I'm so glad I can just feel that and move that and let it go through my body instead of it coming out in weird, irritable shit or, like, dysfunctional behavior like buying, you know, a PlayStation 5 or some shit like that. Like, I'm glad I just recognized that immediately. As soon as I sent the picture, I started to feel like I needed to cry. I'm just like, fucking cry, bro. Let it come out. And it came out. I was like, oh, my first wife is so beautiful. Oh, just let it go. I just let it get out.
So I was telling the kids about that because I figured they'd appreciate that. And then I ended up talking about the matchmaker and the preferences in the race. And I'm like, you know, I'm probably going to find a woman that looks a lot like your mom. But I told the matchmaker if they find, you know, a Black woman, an Asian woman, a Hispanic woman, I'm down for all of it. And my daughter's like, no, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm like, what? You know, she's like, no, you should you date a woman that looks more like mom. I'm like, why? It's like, well, I just I don't want a woman that looks you know different than mom. I'm like, okay, I can understand that. And then we got home and my daughter got in a like a funk after that where she kind of got into this emotional spiral. And I bought the milk that we didn't have yesterday and that I tried to buy the day before on Monday. I got milk now. Everyone, we got home and I read to my son. I snuggled him a little bit. Him and my daughter played a little bit. And then my ex-wife came there to pick them up to go to piano.
Well, my daughter was in a fuss and tried to tell my ex-wife that she needed to go home to pick up an outfit for her that she could wear to go out with her friends. And my ex-wife's such a nice person. People pleaser. That she's thinking about doing it. And then I come through as the voice of reason. I'm like that's ridiculous. Like it'll take you the traffic and stuff, probably at least 20 minutes round trip, to go back home and get clothes for my daughter. My daughter has clothes she wore to school. Like there's nothing super fancy or something happening. It's just my daughter's like, I want pants. I'm like, you got pants in a dresser lady, but she was just upset. And I'm glad I could recognize that. Like, it's not about the thing itself, you know? And then my ex-wife got a bit of that upset feeling too. And I, maybe I should have waited to another time to talk about this, but I like to keep my ex-wife updated with what's going on. I told her very quickly in like one minute that the matchmaker call went really well. I'm excited about it. I'm definitely going to stay in St. Pete.
And, you know, here's what happened right before that, though. Right before the kids came over, I was going to say I fucked up, but looking back now, it doesn't sound like I fucked up. But I was thinking about that edgy idea for the show, and I thought, you know, there might be some issues with this. So I asked ChatGPT about it, and it roasted me. It absolutely roasted me, laying out serious legal and ethical risks. So I'm like, shit, yeah, that's all too likely. All right, fuck, I'll just give up on the show. So by the time my ex-wife gets home and by the time I had picked the kids up, I told them I'm not doing a show. I'm going to fucking do some kind of coaching or something for wealthy people. That's what I'm going to do because I already have a lifestyle that looks like wealthy. I got a tennis club membership. I get massages every week. I haven't worked a real job in a decade. Your boy already lives that wealthy lifestyle. I can feel the wealthy clients in that respect. I tell my ex-wife that I'm going to stay in St. Pete. The matchmaker went well. I'm going to do something. I'm not going to do a show. She was in a bit of a mood and kind of couldn't hear me at first, but then she pivoted real quick and was like, Hey, I hear you. Okay. That sounds good. Thank you for the quick updates. And I'm like, yeah, I just, I want to keep everybody on the same page. I want to check what I'm doing and get feedback because I thought the show idea was a great idea until ChatGPT roasted it and ruined it, you know, in one minute.
After my ex-wife and the kids leave, which my daughter eventually leaves when, you know, my ex-wife finally gets in the car and it's barely time to go to her piano lesson. My ex-wife and the kids leave. My daughter sends me a sweet little message after she leaves. She says, I love you, Dada. I'm sorry. And it's at this point I figure out where she got upset. I remember she got triggered on the way home from school, but I couldn't figure the exact conversation. I said, I love you too. You know, I understand you had a long day. Don't worry about it, sweetie. And it's nice. I feel that unconditional love for my child. I'm like, I get it. It's hard. You know, she's just a kid, picturing her dad dating someone different than her mom, you know, and it's like, what the she's wondering what the fuck happened to her life, right? Like, this is crazy. Like, we're, you know, it's it. I can see that. And my son bumped his head while I was playing with him. So he got his emotions out by getting physical and bumping himself a couple of times and having a cry. I need to get some proper boxing mitts for my son, though, so he can really lean into that. But as soon as I do, he'll probably get tired of the boxing gloves. But that's OK.
After my ex-wife and the kids leave, I get ready for my singles tennis match. And I start trying to figure, I'm like, OK, you know, what am I going to do? It's time to make some money. So I get to the tennis center early and I get to work talking to ChatGPT. I'm like, OK, you know what I need to do? Because it says that some different things I could offer. And I'm saying, okay, what it really sounds like is that I have services I could offer to wealthy clients. That seems like where we're really going here. Out of my offerings and stuff, that seems to be my niche. I'm a person who could serve wealthy clients because their wealth doesn't intimidate me or bother me or make me worship them. I could have that if I wanted that also. If I had chose to just continue uploading videos and do anything to make money online, I could have, especially if I'd have just been willing to lie about crypto, I could have a fucking huge house and all kinds of cars and shit myself. But I decided I wasn't interested in that. And, you know, I wanted to stay home and spend more time parenting the kids and support my ex-wife, who was really interested in working. But now I am ready. We're going to get a regular 10 grand a month income, 100 plus K a year. We're going to get that going.
So I asked ChatGPT for some ideas and it says, one idea that pops up is a legacy and identity strategist. Wealthy adults eventually ask, what am I building now? You help with life redesign, identity evolution, legacy alignment. And I'm like, you know, that actually sounds pretty accurate. Legacy work. Remember that letter I sent out to hundreds of people in December in my neighborhood where it talked about helping people write books? Well, what I did wrong in that letter is first off, I put a stamp on it and addressed it to my neighbor, which probably got thrown out 95% of the time. And then it just had like ghostwriting or book coaching services, which I addressed the legacy a little bit, but it didn't make it clear like the exact narrative. I uniquely am in a fantastic position to help someone who's got money and wants to preserve their story and control the narrative on their life. I'm in a fantastic position. I can help them do a podcast, a YouTube channel, short videos with all of it, books, audio books, print, Kindle. I can do all that shit. And I imagine I picture somebody would pay me really well to get all of their life thoroughly documented and in a book so that they could preserve their story, their legacy, and have it to pass down. I mean, for somebody that you think of as maybe like a deca-millionaire, like they could drop 50 grand to get it done right. And they'd be very happy to do that. And I'd do a great job for them. I think, nice. All right, now this sounds promising because this I have credentials for. Like, hey, I've filmed 10,000 videos. I published 30 books on Amazon. A friend's book is finished now. So I can say, hey, here's a little tiny thing I did for a friend. This was super easy. I could train somebody to do it themselves or coach them or have it done full service.
I get out to the tennis center to play the match, and I'm like, all right, I think we got something here. I think we got something here. We're going to explore this further. I meet my opponent, a tennis partner. We meet on court 12, and I'm so grateful for my tennis center membership. There's a clinic right next to me where there's men and women both playing together, which I love that. We start playing, and I win the very first game. I'm starting to think this is looking good. He wins the next six out of seven games and beats me 6-2. Unlike yesterday when I was screaming my ass off playing a friend, I'm keeping it pretty cool. Like, it's a guy I don't know yet at the tennis center, not out at a local park with a friend. As we go into the second set, he gets up 5-2 against me. And he was up 4-1 at one point. And then we take it to 5-2. And I really laser in on my inner game of tennis. I start telling, talking to myself like I'm my son. I'm like, I love you, little buddy. Good job. Just play your best. Do whatever you can. Just get out there and play and have fun. All right. I love you. I love you. I love you. I shower myself with love and talk nice to myself when I miss a shot. I'm like, fuck, but it's OK. It's OK. It's all good. You're playing your best. Just get out there and play. And we're both getting great exercise. He's sweating his ass off. And I'm actually mouth breathing here and there because I'm running so much. He has a decent power serve, and he's like a barreled, big-chested guy, but he can run too, which is inspiring to see. And somehow, my game elevates and his game collapses at the same time. I bring the set to a tie at 6-6, and we do a tiebreaker. And I win the tiebreaker, like 7-3. Meanwhile, it's 8-20. And we still have a third set or a tiebreaker. He says he doesn't want to do a tiebreaker, which I respect in almost every case. I'd rather play a third set too. But I go in and ask the guy at the tennis center and the lights go out at 830. So we agree to meet again and schedule on Sunday to do that last set, which that'll probably benefit him a lot because sometimes it takes me like a set to warm up. Other times I come out firing. But today I was just getting good and warmed up after two full sets of tennis, two hours of playing tennis.
God, I'm so grateful for my body. Like it is so healthy and physically active. And I looked beautiful. I got to say, I looked beautiful on that Zoom call this morning with the matchmaker. I'm like, man, I look great. I'm really excited to find a girl who appreciates that. I'm driving home and I'm in this real clear mental state. I can kind of like feel the second woman and her proximity. Like we're getting closer in time to each other. That she recognizes I'm truly ready for her. And I'm excited because I know she's coming and she's getting closer and closer. And I imagine she's probably coming through the matchmaking service, but I'm open to if it happens another way. But the matchmaking service plus the I'm seeking a wife book are a clear commitment that I'm absolutely ready for my next woman. I get home and I eat some potatoes and beans with a spaghetti sauce on them for dinner because I'm like, I'm going to just stuff some nutritious shit in my belly right now. And this tastes good enough, so fuck it. Load the dishwasher up. And my friend recommended a coach. I look up and read his website a bit. Then I'm like, all right, let's get these diary entries done. Maybe I'll talk to ChatGPT a little bit about wealth, you know, wealthy clients and legacy work. Then it'll be time to shower. And I wonder if she will be at yoga tomorrow. You're going to find out really quickly. But I'm going to have to wait about 10 hours. My bet is no. Although it did feel last week like she kind of wanted to go but had something come up, but I don't think she's going to be there tomorrow. I think she's going to do the 10 o'clock class if I was accurate in seeing her walk in. I think I was too much with my compliment, my energy, and she switched to the 10 o'clock class. That's what I think is going to happen. That to me is the most likely probability, but I'm so curious to see what actually happens tomorrow. You're about to find out real quick.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.