This is my journal entry from January 12, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
Tonight's my first overnight with the kids during a school week, and I'm really excited about it. I start the day off by going to my yoga studio for the 8.30. There's lots of attractive girls as usual. I put my mat right up next to the mirror this time. It's actually nice looking at myself. I'm like, God damn, this is a narcissist row up in this bitch. I can just look at myself like, damn, look at this. I got some abs. And it's nice to discreetly check the girls out, too. I try and talk to the girl a little bit after class because she has three blocks next to her. And I guess one of them is the instructors. But she doesn't seem really into it. So I move on. Then I see a woman coming in for the 10 a.m. that I'm surprised I remember her and her name. So I say hi to her and talk to her a little bit, then head out.
I come straight home and get ready for the AA group that I go to at 11 a.m. My sponsor's there, and I get there just in time to see him. The girl I asked if she wanted to meet up a couple days ago and didn't respond is there as well. I actually get called on in this meeting, which is nice. They read the part of the big book where the guy's like 30 years old and quits drinking to focus on his business and then goes to pieces in his 50s after he retires. And I share. So the main theme from this message is if I wait to my 50s to drink, I can drink. You know, it's just being toxic and shit. Like, I'm going to take good care of myself. Thus, my share, I move on.
I head out of the meeting a little bit early and then I go get a massage with my massage therapist. She's dealing with her ex-husband and selling her house, which is tough for her. And it gives me an appreciation of everything my ex-wife and I are doing and how grateful I am for the smooth relationship that we have. I'm also super grateful for my massage therapist as a friend because she actually consistently responds to messages. And I feel like we have the same level of interest in each other as friends, which is really nice, which has been lacking on my messages with girls. But it just will take one girl really to turn everything around.
I go to pick the kids up from school. And my ex-wife texted me earlier that my daughter's staying after for a girlfriend's club. So I just picked my son up. My son and I ride home. And it's nice to have some time by himself, just the two of us. I enjoy chatting with him in the car and hearing how he's doing at school. And he's really excited to go to the park, but he says he wants to wait for my daughter, which is so nice. So I eat and rearrange stuff around the house and we wait for my daughter to get home.
Meanwhile, earlier in the day, I'd listened to this book called How Could She? The Shocking Story of a Mother's Betrayal and a Daughter's Survival, which is absolutely a horror story. And at the same time, it does give me an incredible contrast and perspective for how I show up and take care of my kids as a parent versus the worst that other kids endure at the hands of parents that just abuse them at shocking levels. And it leaves me feeling super grateful like that my son's just here with me having this nice day and being treated right and loved so much. And that my daughter's coming home to that, too.
My ex-wife drops my daughter off a little after four. And then when my daughter gets home, we have little snacks and we go to Crescent Lake Park. We hang out there for a little over an hour, flying the drone, driving the car around. And my son's chasing the car. I lay down in the grass. My daughter cries and is missing her mom because it was one thing when my ex-wife was going out at night and it was the first time over at my house for everybody on Saturday because, you know, that my ex-wife was going out and had something to do anyway. But this is different. You know, she's just got home from school and now that's all she's going to see of her mom is the ride home from school. And my daughter's pretty emotional about it. And I think my ex-wife was also pretty emotional about it. But my ex-wife doesn't often outwardly show her feelings that much. But this is a big night for my ex-wife, too, because after she drops my daughter off and leaves at 4.30, my ex-wife has the whole rest of the night to herself. There's no kids. She doesn't have a man at home that I know of, at least. She had the whole rest of the night to herself. This is a space she said she wanted before, and now she gets to have it.
I think the two of them, they both were feeling a lot of the emotions, and my son and I weren't feeling as much, which was nice. So my daughter had a good cry and gave me lots of snuggles. At one point my daughter was sitting on me and my son had his back sitting to my back in the park and we all just snuggled up and I'm like, this is what I've been missing. And I didn't, you know, I knew it was a struggle and I felt lonely over the last three months, but at the same time, like this, for some reason I didn't quite see how hard it was to not be having this kind of dad time with my kids. Like I was seeing them and I was taking them to and from school and doing stuff with them as I've described in depth over the last three months. But I didn't have this like quantity of time where I'm just doing dad stuff and it's like a normal routine and it's all on me, which is really nice.
We came home from the park about 5.30. And we take an hour to get ready and eat. We were going to play some games, but we didn't end up having any time. I have a salad for dinner. I cut up a bunch of fruit for my son. I cut up a pineapple and a watermelon that I bought and we get ready for the night. Then we head out a little after 630 to the grocery store because my daughter needs some shampoo. I need some dish soap and I need to pick up the package that I would have dropped at the grocery store again instead of at my house. Because I have a house. Now, if you're living in a van, it would make sense to have a package dropped at the grocery store because you don't have an address. But I'm not going to be taking up space there anymore.
We go to the grocery store and I'm figuring out stuff that they can eat for lunch as well as wondering if there's any single moms with their kids that I might run into and have a happily ever after with. No luck on that front, though. But we go around and have a great time shopping and picking out foods that they might enjoy in their lunch and end up spending $67. They scan everything for the self-checkout. Then we go get gas. I love just ordinary things are just so fun with the kids. They both get out and are helping fill up the Toyota Corolla with gas. My son and I put new black hubcaps on the Corolla earlier today that I received in the mail, which was fun. He even got one of them on completely by himself.
Then we get to my daughter's basketball at 7:30. There's tons of kids there. I was hoping my son and I would have time to shoot and have a basket to ourselves, but no, there's four teams playing at the same time. The courts are full. Nobody besides the people that are signed up for these teams seems to have space to play. My daughter's having fun with the seven other girls that are on her team. She has the same coach as last season. Meanwhile, my son is messing with me and hanging out for the first 15 minutes, but then he sees a girl from his class sitting down, her sister's playing basketball at this time, and the girl is just sitting there bouncing the ball off the wall. I'm like, come on, go play with her, and he's a little shy at first, but then he gets up and goes to play with her, and they end up playing the rest of the 45 minutes while my daughter plays, which was so cute because I felt that way a couple of days ago when I talked to the girl at the AA picnic. I'm like, come on, go talk to her. It was so cute to have that conversation with my son and see how much fun he had playing with her. They were rolling the ball across the gym on the sidelines and bouncing it off the wall. And they came up with all kinds of little games they played.
Meanwhile, I went through my phone and caught up on my text messages. And I'm thinking about having the events at my house. So I also wanted to let people know who I wasn't going to be around anymore. So I messaged a guy from AA that's working on a business servicing cars. And then I went back and messaged a woman I'd been talking to, to follow up with her after I didn't text her for like a month. And I also texted a woman I'd been interested in and I hadn't messaged her in a month. And it was nice because the woman I'd been talking to actually, I look at it, I'm like, you know, I first met her on October 25th. I messaged her on October 26th to do an invite. And then I did not message her again for two months until I saw her at a local spiritual community again. And then so I sent her a message last night saying that I dropped the ball on responding, that I just moved. And the best night I had at the local spiritual community was talking to the woman I'd been interested in. And I'm not doing that community anymore. You know, let me know if you'd like an invite to my events. And she sends a message back to me asking if I'm all moved in. I sent a message back to her asking what she does for fun. And she said she's into acroyoga and asked what I like to do for fun. It's like, man, here's a girl that is actually asking me questions and responding to my text messages. Isn't that nice? And while last time I saw her, she didn't seem interested in meeting up for doing anything one on one with me, this is a girl who actually I like and seems to like me and has some interest. How silly that I just didn't text her for two months and then for another month. So I didn't respond to the last message because the kids and I are about to go to bed.
I also messaged the woman I'd been interested in and she said she's going to go out of the country soon. I'm like, man, this is funny. Two of the girls I've been most interested in that I've met, I've texted them the least. And just kind of gave up quickly on even doing anything with them.
It's also got me thinking about my books. This morning I woke up and I was getting a bit paranoid about my books. I was wondering, like, man, after stuff I said about people and just all the shit I've talked in these books, all the, you know, the cursing, the clowning around having fun, all the events I've described and people and places, I'm like, you know, is there something I should do with this to protect myself a little better? I was like, what if someone like sues me for the shit I said in this book or somebody else, because I'm just talking about people now. I generally am only using people's first names. Although I tried to just use someone's first name, I slipped one time. So there it is, but still with the first name, there's no last name. It's difficult to even identify exactly who I'm talking about. And even if somebody that I did know being talked about read this, which seems unlikely but possible, thinking, what can I do to cover my ass a little bit better?
At first, I was just thinking, fuck it. I'm not going to publish these books anymore. I'm just going to print them out and try and sell them in person. And it's like, really? You know, how are your kids going to get access to that? What about the people online that might buy these books someday? What about the people across the world that might buy a book like this and just be interested in the story. So I asked ChatGPT what to do, and I was thinking before I talked to it, I'm like, what if I publish these books as fiction, that I'm not claiming anything in this is true, that this is just all my subjective reality in my head. I'm just, this is me processing life. I'm not trying to put this out as if this is reality or fact or anything like that. Like, because if I publish it nonfiction, then I'm standing behind this and saying this is true and this is my experience. But what if some of the stuff, you know, I don't want to have to prove anything in court and say that this is true. And I also like to take the edge off of any of the shit I say is like, you know, this is just my motherfucking opinion. Like I'm just in my office saying whatever I feel like.
I asked ChatGPT about it and it says that, you know, it is a genre of literature where people publish as autobiographical nonfiction or autobiographical fiction because that way, you know, it's honoring that this is a subjective reality. You know, the idea is I'm describing like, you know, how things felt in my life, not who people are, or actual events, or, you know, I'm not trying to make this something for a court case or to put anybody down. It's like, you know, I want to just document that this is my art. I'm creating this as art. And yes, this is my experience, but, you know, I'm not claiming this is nonfiction and everything is going to match what other people experience, and what other people say. To some degree, this is just a work of art.
So I asked ChatGPT what to do. It says this is fiction helps. If I label it as fiction, auto-fiction, or a novel inspired by real events, it does reduce legal exposure if I avoid clearly identifiable people being portrayed as doing harmful, illegal, or defamatory things. You don't use full names. You don't present statements as verifiable facts. And yeah, if I'm going to say this is fiction about this specific person who did these specific things, that's one thing. And thus, you know, I'm thinking the safest framing is to put it that this is my subjective internal experience, not objective truth. ChatGPT says, for the daily autobiography style books, the strongest legal and artistic positioning is that this is an auto-fiction subjective memoir. That I could do a disclaimer, and I may do this for the sixth book up front to say that this book is a work of autobiographical fiction. It reflects my subjective inner spirit, experience, perceptions, and emotional interpretations at any given moment of time. Names, details, and circumstances may be altered, condensed, or imagined. The narrative does not claim to represent objective reality or the experiences of others.
So it says I'm only at risk if I produce a real identifiable person with a false statement presented as fact that harms their reputation. And thus, it says, the memoir does give more credibility, higher emotional impact, and slightly higher legal risk. If I do autofiction, there's lower legal risk, still emotionally honest, gives me creative and philosophical freedom, which I would definitely like over time. Because I do have some fiction ideas that I'd like to dictate, and it'd be easiest to just put them in here. And it says, this also fits my creating-my-own-reality worldview. ChatGPT says, given how raw and interpretive my writing is, autofiction is more honest, not less, which is interesting. And going forward, I'll try and describe more of how I felt or how I experienced things instead of saying what people did. So I may, you know, starting today and going back, switch these to autobiographical fiction. You know, no book is zero risk. At the same time, though, I've seen people put lots crazier shit and put it as nonfiction, like putting that they're abducted by aliens and sold into sex slavery, taken off the planet, regressed through time. So I'll think about this some more, because I want to position these books for long-term viability, and I want to keep doing these.
I've also been wondering, should I catch up on these books? Right now, I've got a backlog of probably at least 50 days, which is an average of probably 20 minutes per day. So if we round and say maybe I probably have close to two months. So I probably have a backlog of close to 15 hours of audio dictated like this that I've not processed into writing. And it sucks because, well, I feel like I'm behind all the time. And I've done all this work that's not published. And to me, if I'm doing work like this, it should be published immediately. Once I'm done with it, I shouldn't be doing all this writing and have it sitting on my computer forever. Whereas if I took 20 or 30 hours, I could go through all these entries and get them published. But I've been hesitant, especially the sixth one gets into a whole new level of talking shit. And I've been a little hesitant to even publish that because I've been feeling like, is this just a ticking time bomb that somebody's going to discover one day and my life's just going to blow up because of how real and honest I've been? And yet, you know, I love publishing books. I want to continue publishing like this is my legacy.
This is my thing that 10 years from now, having published something like 20 minutes a day, let's say I get 100 hours a year of dictation, which I'm easily doing at this rate. Imagine in a decade that you'd have a thousand hours of these you could go through. That'd be a catalog that almost no human would have, that raw quantity. Assuming there's still humans reading in ten years. And my whole life would be recorded day by day. In the short term, they don't do anything. But I'm like, over the next decade, imagine someone finding one of these and they'd be able to buy a hundred of them. Like that's something I could never replace either. Like I can't go back and dictate 10 years ago in my life day by day. That'd be something priceless for my kids or grandkids or whatever. It'd be something amazing that you'd get to go through somebody's life in that much detail day by day. This is something that's worth doing. At the same time, I do need to figure out how I can publish it on an ongoing basis and minimize my legal risk. I don't want to have the whole damn series come tumbling down. But I guess there's just no going through life with no risk either. I mean, to me, the biggest risk in life is that you go through life so risk-averse that you don't really live, and I don't want to do that. So I'll research more about autobiographical fiction.
To wrap the day up, I put the kids to bed. We went to bed late at like 9.45. All three of us took showers and had dinner after basketball, and then we got in bed and snuggled up, and I went to bed so happy, feeling like, man, this is what I need. Like, this leaves my house feeling like a home. I've got the kids here. At the same time, I'm wondering about my ex-wife. She wanted all this space, and she's got it, and I'm looking forward to seeing how she did with it tomorrow.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.