This is my journal entry from December 9, 2025, part of my daily autobiography Divorce Day — my real, unedited days, published in order.
After dropping the kids off at school this morning, I came home and spent two hours on a call with Chris Yost. Chris is a YouTuber and the last person I ever did a recorded video collaboration with on my old setup. I remember that day clearly. I was in the middle of a seven-hour livestream playing Warzone when we paused for two hours to talk about ICP. That conversation ended up being the final video collaboration I recorded before everything in my online life changed. Talking with Chris again today felt like picking up a thread from that earlier chapter of my life, except now the entire context around it has shifted.
What made the conversation so satisfying was the chance to expand on many of the ideas I had discussed previously with Blockchain Pill and to go deeper into dynamics that might actually be helpful for Chris and his audience. We have a lot in common, and I felt grateful to reconnect with him in this way. It also felt good knowing the interview would give me some free publicity while sharing ideas that might resonate with people who could end up enjoying my books. In practical terms, it will also serve as a great example to show others when I want to suggest collaborations. If I approach another creator, I can simply say, “Here’s an interview I did on another YouTuber’s channel. Maybe you’d like to do something similar.”
More than anything, the conversation itself felt therapeutic. I loved being able to speak openly without worrying about YouTube’s terms and conditions or trying to self-censor every sentence. I could simply say what I wanted to say and let Chris decide later how to edit or present the final video. That freedom felt incredible. I have wanted to build better collaboration systems for years, and it finally feels like I have one that works. I can show up, have a real conversation, and let someone else handle the uploading, editing, and production afterward.
After finishing the call, I went straight to Crunch Fitness for a personal training session with my personal trainer. We had a great conversation while working out. At one point he told me that he had recently gone viral on TikTok with a video that reached over sixteen million views. Hearing that reminded me how unpredictable online attention can be. During the session he also commented on my divorce arrangement. From his perspective, the way I structured things so that my soon to be ex would be financially taken care of made me seem like a high-quality man, someone who handled a difficult situation responsibly. Hearing that left me feeling really good. It was reassuring to know that the effort I made to approach the divorce with fairness and care was visible to other people.
Right after training, I showered at Crunch Fitness before heading to a massage with my massage therapist. In the past I would sometimes go straight from a sweaty training session into a massage appointment, and thinking about that now almost makes me laugh. Back then I would ask the therapists at a massage studio whether it was gross for me to come in sweaty after a workout. They always told me it was fine. Looking back, I cannot help wondering which of them simply did not feel comfortable telling me the obvious truth. If someone has just sweated through thirty minutes of personal training and then walks into a massage appointment, of course they should shower first.
My conversation with my massage therapist was great as usual. While lying on the table I found myself reflecting on how dramatically my life has changed in such a short time. Two weeks ago, when I last saw her, I was about to leave for Michigan. A month ago, I was completely distraught and emotionally shaken. Today I feel far more stable and grounded. That shift alone feels like a huge blessing, not just for me but for everyone around me. My massage therapist shared that she is thriving in her relationship as well, and hearing that made me genuinely happy for her. After the massage I went home for lunch. At the moment I do not have any pots, pans, or even a microwave, so I simply ate a bowl of cold bean soup. It was not exactly gourmet, but it worked.
Once I finished eating, I headed straight to my 4 p.m. meeting. There were four of us there: two women, one man, and me. One of the women was absolutely gorgeous, but she is very early in her recovery and still figuring things out. The other woman had been around the program for a while and shared a really strong message. She also seemed to genuinely appreciate what I had to share during the meeting.
The man there appeared inspired by the group dynamic. He talked about his own journey and mentioned that he is also in early sobriety. Toward the end I let him know that the meeting location would be closing soon. Despite the small group, the conversation felt warm and supportive. The gorgeous woman mentioned that she had a boyfriend, which immediately made things simple in my mind. No need to exchange numbers or even consider it.
Still, walking away from the meeting, I found myself smiling and thinking about the abundance of beautiful women in the world. Thank you, Universe, for the reminder that they exist everywhere. You can place them around me anytime you feel like it.
After the meeting, I drove straight to the kids’ winter concert. When I pulled up and saw my ex-wife there, I felt genuinely happy. We sat down together and watched the performance, which felt nice and familiar in a way that reminded me of the many family moments we have shared over the years. About halfway through the concert, however, something that had been on my mind surfaced, and I decided to bring it up with her.
With the court date coming up next week, I have been thinking a lot about how our divorce settlement might look from the perspective of a judge. If I were sitting in that position and saw the numbers laid out on paper, I might pause for a moment. The agreement has me walking away with very little while my ex-wife keeps essentially all of the marital assets, along with the liabilities tied to them, primarily the house. From a purely surface level perspective, I imagined a judge looking at that and saying, “This seems a little unbalanced. Are you both sure this is what you want? Are you both comfortable with this arrangement?” That thought had been sitting in my mind, and even before I spoke I could feel the hesitation. There was that familiar internal voice warning me not to bring it up, telling me it might lead to an argument.
Recently I have been reading No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover, and one of the ideas in the book is about the tendency to avoid conflict in order to keep everyone comfortable. I recognized that pattern in myself. For years I have tried to make sure everyone is okay all the time, often at the expense of saying what I actually feel. A real man, according to the philosophy I am absorbing right now, is willing to approach uncomfortable subjects directly and say, “Let’s talk about this and make sure everything is really okay,” even if the conversation feels tense or awkward.
So I asked her if she truly believed the settlement was fair. As soon as the question came out, the tension in the room shifted. My ex-wife responded immediately that of course it was fair because she was the one who structured it. She began explaining her perspective, talking about our historical income and other financial factors that influenced the arrangement. I listened and then asked her to step back and imagine how it might look from the outside. I said that if someone who did not know our entire financial history simply glanced at the agreement, they might reasonably conclude that the arrangement looked skewed in her favor.
On the way home afterward, I decided to experiment with something. I uploaded the PDF of our settlement agreement into ChatGPT and explained the context. I will admit that ChatGPT has a tendency to tell you what you want to hear sometimes, so I take its responses with a grain of salt. Even so, its assessment was clear. It said the settlement did not appear financially fair from my perspective because I was leaving with negative net worth and no assets, while my ex-wife retained all the marital assets along with a positive net worth and the foundation of the family’s financial life.
I showed her that analysis and explained that this was what an outside observer might see if they looked at the agreement without digging deeply into the nuances of our past finances. I told her that not everyone would see it this way, and certainly her attorney friends might interpret it differently. Still, I felt that many impartial people would glance at the numbers and conclude that the arrangement leaned heavily in her favor.
The conversation shifted after that. My ex-wife became emotional and began to cry. Through the tears she explained that she is also struggling financially because of the situation. She reminded me that she had given me half of her savings and that she deeply appreciated the fact that the settlement allows her to stay in the house. By removing myself from the property and taking a modest cash amount instead of forcing a sale, I had effectively given her stability. She pointed out that if I had insisted on selling the house, which would have been completely within my rights, she likely would have had to move in with her parents.
Hearing that helped the conversation soften. She asked me what I actually needed from the situation. My answer surprised her with its simplicity. I told her that what I needed was a little gratitude and acknowledgment. I wanted to hear her say that she appreciated the way I structured the agreement so that both of us could move forward financially. I wanted her to recognize that by taking a modest cash amount and removing myself from the house, I was giving her the security of staying there without worrying that I might force a sale later.
Once I said that, the emotional tone shifted again. My ex-wife expressed sincere appreciation for what I had done. She admitted that the gratitude had been there underneath the surface, but she had not often expressed it out loud. I told her that hearing it mattered. In that moment I thought about my grandfather. When my dad tells him “I love you,” my grandfather sometimes responds by saying he grew up in a generation where men did not say those things to each other. That mindset always struck me as sad. Love and gratitude become much more powerful when they are spoken openly.
My ex-wife then had a heartfelt emotional release. She shared her fears about money and explained that she has been applying for a second job because she feels financially uncertain as well. She told me that nobody wants me to succeed more than she does because my success would ultimately benefit everyone involved. Hearing that landed deeply with me. By the end of the conversation I felt a sense of relief and calm. I thanked her for expressing those feelings because that was exactly what I needed to hear.
At the same time, the ideas from No More Mr. Nice Guy were echoing in my mind. The book talks about how men often crave validation from women and how much energy we can spend chasing that approval. I could see that pattern in myself, yet I also recognized something simple and human underneath it. It feels good to be appreciated. It feels good to hear someone say, “Thank you. This is a good deal. I recognize what you did here.” When my ex-wife expressed that gratitude, the arrangement suddenly felt much more balanced emotionally, even if the numbers on paper might look uneven to an outside observer. In that moment it felt like the right agreement for helping all of us move forward successfully.
From the perspective of other people, though, the feedback has almost been unanimous. Nearly everyone I have mentioned the settlement to says something like, “It sounds like she’s taking advantage of you. You should get more. If you hired an attorney, you could probably walk away with a lot more.” I understand why people say that. On paper it can easily look that way. But I do not want to spend the money we still have fighting over it. I also have no desire to sabotage my ex-wife financially or put her in a situation where she would have to move in with her parents just to survive.
Technically, I could have forced that scenario. If I had insisted on selling the house, which I had every right to do, my ex-wife might have ended up moving in with her parents. In some ways that might even have been beneficial for her. She would have been financially secure and free from the monthly costs of the house. If we had sold the house together, I probably would have received far more. She would have eliminated her largest expenses and reduced her monthly costs by thousands of dollars. But that is not the life she wants. She loves the house, and I love that for her. Because of that, the arrangement feels energetically right. I could have pushed for more money, demanded a bigger share, or tried to squeeze every possible dollar out of the situation. Instead, I chose not to.
Just yesterday I told my personal trainer that I do not want any more money from my ex-wife. She has already given me enough, and I am tired of living off her financially. I am a man who is fully capable of making a lot of money on my own. My ex-wife said something last night that stayed with me. She pointed out that in just a few months I could easily be making two or three times as much money as her. She herself has a solid, well-paying job, yet the skills I have developed ghostwriting books create opportunities that could scale quickly.
Her point was simple. If I find just two or three people who are willing to pay tens of thousands of dollars for me to ghostwrite their book, I could earn a substantial income in a relatively short period of time. She even suggested starting with family members. She mentioned that a family member is in a financial position where paying for a professionally written life story would not be a burden at all. They might genuinely appreciate having their story preserved in a book. My ex-wife also pointed out a relative who works constantly. Because he has been so focused on work, even his own kids might not know him very well beyond that role. Writing his life story could become something incredibly meaningful for him and for his entire family.
Hearing my ex-wife talk about those possibilities made me feel optimistic. She looked at me and said that I have massive earning potential and that she believes in me. Those words landed deeply. After our conversation, she left to go to her Pilates book club while I focused on the evening with the kids.
I took them over to my mom’s house for a while. They had a great time playing with the dog, running around, and drawing some beautiful pictures. Eventually I brought them home and got them ready for bed. When the kids stay with me, I usually let their bedtime stretch a little later than when they are with my ex-wife. She prefers having them in bed consistently by 8:30 p.m., while I tend to take a more relaxed approach. I do not enjoy nagging or fussing with them about bedtime. I would rather let the evening wind down naturally so they drift toward bed on their own rhythm. That night they ended up settling in around 8:45 or 8:50. Before my son went to sleep, we shared some really nice snuggles, one of those quiet, simple moments that makes the entire day feel worthwhile.
Later that evening I spent some time working on the letter I plan to place in the front of each of my books. The design is simple and effective. One side promotes my books directly, while the other introduces my services helping people write their own books. As I worked on it, I kept thinking about how powerful it might be to place that letter inside every copy I distribute. Someone might pick up one of my books for the content and then realize they could work with me to create their own.
The letter itself looks amazing, and while refining it I started thinking about how I might structure my services in a way that encourages people to commit quickly rather than dragging things out. One idea that came to mind was offering a membership model. For example, someone who wants coaching with me could join a $1,000 per month membership. I have seen other people offering similar services structured that way. The advantage is that it encourages momentum. Instead of slowly inching along, we could use that month to get everything done. In thirty days we could easily complete a tremendous amount of work if we stayed focused.
I also started imagining a similar structure for ghostwriting. Instead of offering a fixed price like $2,500 or $5,000, I could create a higher-level membership around $3,000, $4,000, or $5,000 per month. The idea would be to work intensely together during that time. We could meet multiple times each week, dictate chapters, refine ideas, and move the manuscript forward quickly. I would be writing, they would be dictating and reviewing, and together we could push a book to completion in a relatively short period. Structuring it that way would also give me predictable income and clear limits. If I were receiving something like $20,000 per month from clients, that would probably be enough work already. At that point I could simply tell new people that I was full and place them on a waiting list.
After my ex-wife came home from her Pilates book club, we spent some time talking and wrapping up the day together. The earlier tension had dissolved, and the conversation felt warm and calm. Eventually we gave each other a hug, said we loved each other, and expressed gratitude for where things are right now. The divorce process, surprisingly, is moving forward peacefully.
I did notice a small part of my mind briefly wandering toward old intimacy, but I could clearly see how going there would complicate everything. It might feel appealing in the moment, but it would blur boundaries and create confusion just when we are doing such a good job of separating in a healthy way. It could easily pull us back into emotional entanglement. Recognizing that helped me appreciate the difference between a passing impulse and what actually supports the life we are both trying to build. Right now we are doing a good job of respectfully detaching from each other so that I eventually have space for someone new to come into my life.
By the end of the night I went home feeling grateful and optimistic about where things stand. My energy is returning to writing and building my work around books. I do already have a few people I am working with in different ways. A friend is trading massages with me, and a life coach is coming over tomorrow to work on her book. We will figure out some kind of exchange for that, perhaps life coaching or another form of trade. I am also planning to talk with an older friend about paying for the book project we have been discussing. My intuition is that it might actually be better for him to pay for it. When people invest real money into something, they tend to take it far more seriously. If he pays $10,000 to have his book written, he will likely show up with much more commitment than if the entire project is free.
When I step back and look at it that way, I might already have the beginnings of three paying clients. At the same time, I recognize that this is also a valuable window for writing my own books. If I suddenly have $20,000 worth of clients paying me each month, that will inevitably consume a large portion of my time and energy. Right now I still have the freedom to focus on producing my own work.
Because of that, this moment feels like the perfect time to grind out more books. I am genuinely excited to keep writing projects like this one while also creating a wide range of smaller books I can give away freely. Sobriety books, entrepreneurship books, books about health and personal growth. The more I write, the more material I will have circulating in the world, and each book becomes another doorway for people to discover my work.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.