I would love to get married again and have a family, but I will never ask another woman out again. If you're a guy that's frustrated with the dating scene, or a woman wondering what you have to do to find equality, this is going to be fantastically helpful for you. And this is a surprising place I've gotten to, because for most of my life I have been of the mindset that the man should pursue, that the man should chase, that the man should be hunting and always looking. What I find is that I feel disgusting with that mindset today. All I've done with that mindset is have one woman after another reject me, get uninterested in me, and leave me feeling bad. Even texting a woman first right now, I feel this emotional leakage.
I've taken a whole bunch of effort trying to find a wife. I got divorced last year, married 13 years, with my ex 15 years. I've spent over $10,000, as I've documented before, on matchmaking, dating coaching, and dating apps. I've made a hell of an effort. And what I see now is that I would have been better off doing nothing. That was a total waste of my effort, because of the frame, the kind of person I am. I am a safe, healthy, happy man. And that kind of a man, generally, needs to have a woman who is going to pursue him. Because now there's another dynamic. There's this toxic trauma bonding where you just get together immediately, often go straight into things, and then see if there's a relationship. I've tried that before and I can't stand it.
I want a wife. I don't want anything besides an amazing wife that we can build a beautiful partnership with, and have at least a couple more kids. I already have two kids. I want at least two more. And for that, I want a wife and a real partnership and a real relationship. The shocking thing I've noticed is that when I've tried to pursue and send text messages first and send good morning messages and call and get on dating apps and arrange dates, I've gotten lots of dates. I've been out with at least 20 women in the last year since I got separated and divorced, most of it in the last few months. And yet I felt more burned out, distracted, distraught, and destroyed. I felt like dating was just constantly a humiliation ritual.
I Am the Prize
What I've learned comes down to two things. One, my personality. I do very well being focused. Right now, my focus is YouTube, my kids, my health, and my community. I have a lot of love to give. I'm very safe. I'm very grounded. I'm emotionally intelligent. What these women are describing on dating apps, I have it to offer. I'm able to articulate my emotions very clearly and go through them in real time, process things in a healthy way, and you can feel the passion I have for life. But what I'm noticing is that kind of a man is the prize. When I am the prize, I must sit back.
I grew up with this mindset of being a pickup artist, going after and chasing women, getting phone numbers all over the place, being persistent, texting, and dealing with fake phone numbers and women calling who had no idea who I am. Just constant disappointment, disconnection, frustration, one-night stands. And then somehow that worked for attracting my ex and being with her 15 years. But I also used to drink back then. So I'd get drunk and totally withdraw and not have any interest. I'd send crazy 2 a.m. text messages and all that stuff, hook up with exes. My life was a mess.
So what I see, and I want to keep this to my own mindset, I don't want to tell anybody else what to do, is this. The way I see it, if I'm a man whose life is a mess, I need to go chase women. Because since my life is a mess, I need a woman, and a decent woman wouldn't want to be with me, so I need to basically hunt women down and try to get whatever I can. And you can see why that mindset doesn't work for me and why it's been so frustrating. It seems that women, at least the ones I've encountered, project onto me. If I'm hunting them, they seem to project that my life is a mess. But when I'm not bringing that energy, that toxic trauma bonding energy, then supposedly I'm sending all these mixed signals, there's not romantic chemistry, or they're not getting the whole package.
I talked to one of my friends and she said the relationship she's had, the guy has been all over her, texting her, calling her all the time, showing up unannounced at her house. I'm like, what? Dudes are just showing up unannounced at houses in 2026? That's crazy. Now that made sense before cell phones, when you had landlines. I get that. I remember I'd have girls show up in my dorm room sometimes unannounced at one in the morning. I get that. But now when everybody's got a cell phone and you're on social media, you can't just be showing up to people's houses. At least not the kind of man I am, who's full of self-respect, who is very healthy and has a very nice offer for a woman and a huge amount of unconditional love. I can't be acting like I'm a man that doesn't have that. It doesn't make sense for me to be hunting, because I have a very full life that I'm very proud of. It seems that the kind of woman who wants to be with me will also want to pursue me. I'm tired of being the hunter and feeling like I'm always some woman's second or third choice.
What seems to be happening is that women generally, or at least the kind of woman I want to be with, need to feel safe with me, need to trust me, and will appreciate those aspects of me. And she will start putting out the emotions and the desire toward me first. What I've found is that the sensitive kind of guy I am, the kind of guy that's still letting go of loving my ex and hoping we'd get back together six months after divorce, the kind of guy that has that kind of loyalty and unconditional love, it is dangerous for me to be hunting women. I then end up putting all these emotions out toward women who've given me no signs, in a lot of cases, especially on dating apps, that there's any mutual interest there.
No More Offensive Action
So I am in a place now where the strategy seems to be this. If you're a man that feels you are high value, that knows exactly what you're looking for, that is healthy, that is proud of your life, that kind of man I feel I am now, then I do not take any offensive action with women. I do not ask for a woman's phone number. If she wants me to have her phone number, she will give it to me.
I have an example of this that just sticks with me. There was a divorced dad, very similar demographic to me. He was in a grocery store. He ran into this absolutely beautiful single mom. He made an icebreaker in the section of the grocery store they were in together, but it was something casual about the grocery food. Not some pickup line. He was just like, oh, are these good? Literally the simplest conversation opener. They talked for a few minutes. He then checked out ahead of her and walked out of the grocery store, did not ask for her phone number. This gorgeous single mom could have had any guy on a dating app, but she hated dating apps. It was a bad experience for her. She runs into this guy, a nice guy, a safe guy, a man that has his stuff together, that has a six-figure job, that has kids of his own, that has a house of his own, the very exact kind of man a single mom would want. Not every single mom, but in this case, her. He walked out of the grocery store with no intention of asking for her number, and did not make any kind of move on her. She followed him out into the parking lot, running after him to grab his phone number. That's what we're going for here. I refuse to date under any other circumstances at this point, because I know that's possible, and I feel horrible doing the opposite.
I am so tired of asking for women's phone numbers. And they say it's not appropriate. Or, do you have an Instagram? No, I don't, because I don't waste my life on there. Or I text them and they don't respond. I call them and they don't answer. Trying to isolate the one place I've gone wrong out of all these dates and interactions, I should never be taking any kind of action to pursue a woman. I am the prize, especially right now: 42 years old, extremely healthy. I already have a history of having kids. I know I can have kids. To a woman that wants to have kids, I'm an absolute prize. I'm a proven, experienced father. I went through a kind divorce with my ex-wife. I look good, at least to some women. I was out with a woman in her early 20s, and she said, you have such beautiful eyes and teeth. I'm like, hell yeah, I do. I'm lean, my body's in shape. I'm an absolute prize for the right woman. And the thing that puts me off of being a prize is if I start taking action to try to make something happen.
It seems like in this present environment, women and safety have been so prioritized. 20 years ago when I was dating, people didn't seem to care about being safe. People were being dangerous and crazy. People seemed to care a lot more about adventure. My ex, when I met her, she wanted adventure. She cared about being desired. And I'm happy to express my desire to a woman in person. I'll say, I find you very desirable. But now, whenever I'm having that conversation, it's like, look, you need to know I never text first unless I have some specific thing I need. I interact the same way with my mother and my daughter and my ex. The culture has changed today, and the culture is obsessed with safety. There are two basic kinds of cultures I see.
One is this toxic, trauma-bonding, instant hookup, all these romantic sparks, let's sleep together on the first date and see if anything happens. And the way I'm wired today, I can't participate. I refuse to participate in that. I have participated in that before. I know what it's like. I find it disgusting. It wastes my time. It wastes my energy. I don't see having any respect for a woman that sleeps with me on the first date, and you can't start a relationship without respect. Sleeping together with somebody is a big deal to me. It's not something to just do. I know a guy who just disappeared. He had a huge body count and he was massively unhappy. I don't want to increase my body count by more than one if I can help it. I want to find one amazing wife, a wife that's healthy, that wants to have kids. I'm looking for a queen, a woman that will make a partnership and love being with me.
The culture is very anti-man these days. I literally had a complaint at a yoga studio for giving a woman a compliment on her sweater. That's the kind of culture we're in. So to acknowledge and participate successfully in this environment, there are two basic paths. One is being a pickup artist, hunting, always. I have a friend who's on dating apps. He spends hundreds of dollars a month, promotes his profile like crazy, is dating three or four girls at a time. And none of them seem desirable from my point of view. They have some physical attractiveness, but their personality is something I can't stand for even five minutes. The kind of woman that goes out with a man 30 years older than her on a dating app just because he has pictures of his car and being on a boat. That is the opposite of the kind of woman I am looking for. So if you're going to be in that toxic environment with instant hookups, no respecting each other, immediately going all in and seeing if it works out, consistently burning out, that's fine. I'm not judging you. It's just not an environment I want to be in.
I'm Not Giving Up on Dating. I'm Giving Up on Initiating.
What I've had a hard time with is figuring out, okay, what is the environment I'm in? I know I hate how I feel when I text a woman first. I hate how I feel when I have a higher interest than a woman. I hate how I feel when I'm messaging a woman and she just drops off. But here's a really cool thing I've noticed. Within the last two or three weeks, I started this mindset and said, I am done trying to date women. Now, this is where you see a lot of these videos talking about how men are giving up on dating. I am not giving up on dating. I am giving up on initiating anything with women.
Some women look at a man like me at this point and say, you're being lazy. Stop being lazy and get out there. No. This culture, and the kind of man I am, and the kind of woman that's attracted to me at this point, I am very willing to do the work. I did so much work. And the number one lesson I took away is: stop doing work. Stop asking women out. Stop asking women for their phone numbers.
For example, I had a beautiful single mom I find very attractive. I asked her out and got her phone number. She ignored me asking her out. Then I stopped going to that yoga studio. I didn't see her for six months. After six months of not talking to her, she messages me and instantly asks me out on a date. If I would have just kept going from not texting her at all and let her message first every time. Not once, unless there's some clear thing like, hey, I left my jacket at your house. I message people first when I need something specific, not just to say hi, not just to chat. So I don't usually message people first unless I have something I want to specifically find out at a specific time. Like, hey, are you going to this AA meeting later? Okay, then I'll be there. That's not most of the communication that happens with me. I have this Skool community where people pay to work on all this stuff I do online, from dating to AI to making money to YouTube. People DM me there. I've got my plate full just responding. Between people on my community, all my YouTube comments, my live streams, my kids, and my friends, I've got enough incoming traffic all the time. So for me personally, the woman has got to have the initiative to work with me. And I love how it feels.
A few weeks ago I had this realization: I've got to stop trying. Everybody told me when you stop trying, it'll happen. But I thought that meant I had to give up on dating and just accept being single, and that's what a lot of these videos seem to say. What I'm saying is that I give up on being the initiator of a relationship. Statistics show that 69% of divorces are initiated by the woman, which in my case is exactly what happened. And therefore, to me, 69% of the relationship should be initiated by the woman too. She starts the stuff and she can finish it.
So I'm going around now, and if you want to be with me, I am willing to start a generic conversation that I'd have with anybody. I'll go around and say hi to any person walking around the park by my house. I'll be friendly. But if you want anything more than that, and you're the woman in the situation with me, you must do literally everything. Now, I will respond. I will match your energy. But I'm not starting anything. I'm not asking for a phone number. I'm not asking to go out on a date. Even after a date, I'm not sending a thank-you message. We can have the best time, and I will not send you a message at all the next day, because my thought is that it's very easy for me to kill the energy by doing that. The woman should be the one pursuing me in this anti-man culture, if you're a healthy man, at least. If you want to be in that toxic stuff I described, that's a whole other world, and I have no interest in it.
Respecting How Women Feel Safe
It is important, and I'm saying this out of a gigantic amount of respect for women, that women have taken in so many messages about being unsafe and have often been in that toxic trauma bonding world. If you want to be with a man that's safe, you need to feel safe and you need to feel desire for me first. Because if I start with that, in my experience it often triggers this unsafe feeling these days. What I notice is that when a woman wants my attention, things go very smooth. She never flakes. When it's her idea to have a date with me, she doesn't cancel. I'd rather be number one with one woman than to be third or fourth on five different women's rosters. I'm not doing that.
Now, some people say it'll take you a long time to find a quality woman. So my strategy is also to be out around women naturally all the time. All I'm looking for is my queen, the one woman who gets a strong desire for me, so I can then be responsive and attentive to her desire. That's all I'm looking for. I'm not looking for quantity. I don't care if I go out and nothing happens 99% of the time. I'm doing what I want to do to have fun.
Let me give you an example of how powerful this mindset shift was. About two or three weeks ago, I decided I'm so exhausted of being humiliated. Every woman flaking, women who reach out first, like the single yoga mom, who then go cold as ice as soon as I start showing any desire. Flake and ghost immediately as soon as I start having any interest in them. As soon as my interest gets higher than their interest, gone. I was so miserable and so tired that I said, forget this. I'm not doing anything to initiate anything with a woman. I'm not texting. I'm not asking for a number. I'm not calling. I'm not asking for a first date, a second date, a third date, none of it. I'm not inviting them to do anything. I will literally be here when they want me, and I will respond enthusiastically to the requests I'm interested in. And I will show up, because I always show up when I say I'm going to show up. I don't flake. I don't cancel. I don't bullshit. I've got the real offer.
If a woman wants that, it's right here. I've got a 1,400 square foot house to myself, and I have my kids three nights a week. Between this Skool community and my YouTube videos, I'm going to print money like crazy. I can provide, I can make money, I'm healthy, I can father children. I'm an amazing offer as a man, and if you want it, come get it. This is out of respect for women, because I don't want to have a higher desire than a woman does for me. And every time I initiate my desire, it feels disgustingly vulnerable. You know what? I'm not being vulnerable first anymore. I'm tired of it. The woman in this culture can be vulnerable first.
Out of respect for women, it generally takes women much longer to feel something for a man if it's healthy and safe. Men often, I'll see a woman and I'm ready to marry her just walking by her at the park. Women often need much more time to really feel something and make a connection. So I'm out in community all the time being around women. I'm being friendly. But at the same time, I'm not trying to advance anything. Even when a woman's interested, I'm not trying to kiss her first. I'm not trying to take it to sex first. None of that. Literally, the woman can do everything, all the way to commitment, marriage, pregnancy. And I'm honoring that a woman feeling safe is important. When a woman feels safe, she will often take the initiative if she's got a man who appreciates that. So three weeks ago, I got this burned out, and I said, I'm done. I'm absolutely done.
Literally within 24 to 48 hours, this woman I'd gone out with, early 20s, whom I'd met in real life, messages me first. After I had been trying to pursue her, when she met me, she was very interested in me. Then I pursued her for a week and her interest was damn near zero. We did not have a good date. I invited her out to something else and she did not respond for several weeks. That's what chasing had been getting me. Now, I do nothing for three weeks, and she messages me. I respond immediately: hey, I was just thinking of you, it's cool you messaged me. And I hadn't been thinking of her, but right before she messaged me, I was thinking of her. So she messages me on a Friday, after three weeks of not hearing from her. Then the next day, she invites me to three different things. She invites me to a meal, to yoga, and to go to another place, all the next day. That's what we're looking for. If that's not it, I am not interested in anything else.
That's how, to me, in this culture and environment, if you're a woman I hope you're really taking this in. In this environment, if you want a healthy, happy relationship, you need to be going after it. When a woman chooses me, it just feels right, at least for where I'm at in my life. But when I'm trying to choose a woman, it feels like the whole dynamic is screwed up. So this woman invites me, specifically only me, to all this stuff. I said yes to two of the things and spent four hours with her that day. We had a great time. Then she invites herself over to my house to cook a couple of days later. That, to me, is the proper workflow. She felt safe. She felt interested. So she messaged me first. She asked me out. I responded and showed up. I didn't flake. I responded enthusiastically. We had a good time.
Then I took some initiative and went to see her at work, which seemed to turn her off. I texted her first the next day, and it turned her off. She was in a bit of a mood. The next day, she comes over. I texted her first again. She comes over, and we had a good time. We didn't do anything sexually, although it was close, because I wasn't feeling the chemistry with her that much. Based on the stuff she kept telling me, I'm like, this is not a woman that's going to turn into my wife. This is not going to work. After that, we texted a little bit the next day. She texted me a couple of days later: hey, how are you doing? Meanwhile, I know she's out visiting some guy she's staying with for 10 days in another part of the state. I'm not responding to that. I'm not engaging, because as soon as I respond, then I'm going to put out emotional attachment and it's all screwed up from there.
The Man Is the Foundation
I see it this way as a man that has a deep unconditional love. Statistically, if I get married again, which I intend to, and if I get divorced again, the woman will leave me. As the man, I have that unconditional love and loyalty. That, to me, is the most valuable thing in the relationship. That is the foundation. That's what holds a relationship together. The man is the foundation, the unconditional love and loyalty. The woman brings the desire. That, to me, is the essential element that I ground into what I have to offer. I've got love and loyalty, but I am never offering that again to a woman who has not very clearly demonstrated her desire first, because it feels awful. Now I'm being very cognizant of where I'm putting my emotions. I do not want to put my emotions out with a woman who hasn't put hers out first. You've got to put yours out first today if you want a healthy relationship and a great man. I'm here. I'm ready. I'm present for a woman to choose me.
I would love for some woman to see this, maybe in Utah or somewhere, who can't find a man out there, and think, I've got to be with this guy. Women, when they find a guy they really like, will go to great lengths, and I'm proud of that. I would love for a woman to join my community, DM me, and say, hey, I saw your video about you wanting a wife and wanting to be chased, I'm down, here are my pictures, I want to meet up with you. To me, that feels right.
Some people say I messed it up by playing too safe. No. I played it safe for me. It is dangerous for me to be having sex with some woman I don't know that well, where all kinds of possible negative consequences could happen. It's dangerous for me to have sex with a woman where there are obvious huge incompatibilities, where then I could get emotionally attached and get myself in a crazy situation. I had a guy on a call with me recently, and he told me so many horrible things in his life, and they all came back to him making a choice to get with a woman who was very chaotic and who has kept that chaos in his life for over a decade. As a man, I need to be aware of how dangerous it is for me to commit to the wrong woman, to put my heart out there to a woman that is unsafe for me. I have a very healthy, happy life. I have more to lose from getting with the wrong woman than I have to gain from getting with the right woman.
So at this point, I think men today need to be playing defense. A lot of the man advice out there is all about toxic, instant hookups and all that stuff that disgusts me, at least for who I am now. If you're doing that, I've done it before too. I know how it is. It certainly didn't disgust me in my 20s when I did it. I had one experiment after I got separated, and I realized I'm not built to act like this anymore. I don't want a woman who's got this huge level of interest in me just because we had sex, and the only reason we had sex is because I just wanted to get laid. I felt sad being the kind of man that would behave like that. I want a woman that I absolutely treasure, and when she chases me, I will reciprocate and we'll build a beautiful life together. I'm proud that I've got a very clear way to do that.
Validation Without Chasing
Two weeks ago, I had a woman over in her 20s who volunteered to come over to my house and cook for me and spent hours with me. And the same thing happened, a different woman this week. Again, there was no sex, although she did sleep in one of my beds. On the surface it may just look like a business relationship, but it still was awesome validation. That's what I want. I want women who like what they see so much that they will take every single initiative to advance the relationship. And then I am free to absolutely ignore any other woman, anything else going on. It doesn't matter. I have my life. I have the space. I have the structure. I go out like a peacock and look to get women interested in me, and then I simply sit back and accept the interest I have.
If no woman's texting me, that's fine. I'm perfectly happy to play video games on my Jerry Banfield Games channel. I have six YouTube channels to do all my live streams. I've got my kids. I've got my community, where I have calls and people DM me and are here to be a part of a family. I am perfectly fine being alone and single. At the same time, I'm putting myself in a position for the right woman to discover me and find me.
Now that I'm aware of this, I realize some of the women don't understand that these are my expectations. So whenever I find a woman, like the one who came over, I explain all this to her. Her opinion is that men and women should be friends first and then transfer out of the friend zone. So she is aware that if she wants to transfer out of the friend zone, I'm interested in that based on our previous conversations, but I will not make that move. She is safe to be around me and sleeping in one of my beds. I have three beds. She slept in my daughter's bed, and I'll wash the sheets. She is safe to be around me, and I will not make a move or try anything with her.
Safety for women today is interesting, because even though women objectively are safer than women have ever been, the mental environment is arguably the worst it's ever been that I've seen, with all the messages being put out there. The perceived safety versus the actual safety, especially if you're staying out of obvious dangerous situations like alcohol and drugs, it's safer than ever, but the perceived reality is unsafe. So I just love how women act when they feel safe with me. To me, safety is a woman knowing that nothing's going to happen unless she takes the initiative. And I love when a woman is very interested in desiring me and turning me on. That turns me on a lot too. I've learned from my last relationship that you never want to get in a place where just one person is desiring the other. It really is an awful relationship. The foundation of that, these days, to me, should be that the men get chased. The men show up. It's like how women used to be. Now it's like dudes working out and stuff. I go around and show off what kind of man I am, and I just wait for women to approach me. Then I deal with the women approaching me and interested in me. I don't need options. All I'm interested in is being number one for one woman, and she is number one for me. I don't believe in options. I believe in a wife, one woman that I love and she loves me and neither of us has any other options. That's what I'm looking for. So I keep my space clean of options.
I am very comfortable at this point just rejecting a woman's advances, like with the woman that came over a couple of weeks ago. I'm not going to engage with that. And that puts me in a position where I can think more clearly and objectively, with this big brain on my shoulders instead of the other one. That's very important as a man. We should be led by our logical brains that hold clear structure. We should not be crazy, emotional men that are just out there, forcing the women to be the ones that are more concrete. I think women generally blossom and are beautiful, and they can be held in their chaos by a man who is grounded and structured and logical. I hate being the man who is the chaotic emotional one. That's what happened in my last relationship as well. So to me, the woman's emotion should take the lead. I love when a woman desires me and wants to be with me.
If this woman that I didn't respond to before came at me with a different message and a different offer, I would certainly see her again. But I'm very guarded and careful of my time. Now I'm also having this conversation with any woman who might be interested in dating me. I say, look. Because some women think that men should be chasing them today, and there are lots of men chasing all kinds of women. But from what I've seen, they're often not the kind of men that, if I were a woman, I'd want to be with. Would you? If you're a woman that's loving and caring, would you want to be with the kind of guy who's going out with as many women as he can on dating apps, having a main woman and three side pieces at the same time? Is that the kind of man you'd want to try to win? I would want a man that wants to be a husband, someone I could be proud of being with, who is safe, who is comfortable, who is a good friend, who could be a good father. The kind of woman I want to be with wants a man like me. And at the same time, she might not know that. So I say, look, I'm not lazy. I'm just aware of how women operate, and I'm going to respect that. And therefore, you will lead.
An Example From Tonight
I'm going to a thing tonight, and there's a woman I like who will be there. But if we end up talking, and I will not make any special effort to talk to her, I may sit down near her, but I'm not going to make my whole night about talking to her. If we get to talking, I will let her know, because when I first met her I was in hunter mode. She signaled me first on the dance floor and was smiling at me, but I came in with that hunter energy. She started immediately giving me disclaimers like she's not looking to date. We talked for two hours and held hands and had a great conversation, but then I texted her immediately the next morning, all excited, and she cooled me off immediately. Then she dates someone else and has some dramatic, grief-filled relationship right after that. So if I end up talking to her, it's like, look, that was a perfect example of why I don't take any action at all to move things forward now. I deleted her phone number. If she wants to contact me, she can reach out. And I will only respond. Never expect me to initiate any conversation.
Even with my own mother, this approach has worked fantastic. I need to have this conversation with my mother too, because I've been the one contacting and reaching out to her first for most of my life, and I've just recently switched that. If my mom wants to talk to me, she can reach out. But if I have no desire to talk to her, and I don't need something from her, I'm not calling her to see how she's doing. I have other stuff I'm doing. If she wants some attention from me, I will respond. If she's interested in talking about a certain thing, or wants to meet up, great. It's more obvious with my daughter and my ex-wife. I don't just message my ex-wife unless there's a clear thing I need. I don't message her and say, hey, how's your day going? I don't even do that with my daughter. I love my daughter so much. She's going to be 11 soon. I love her as much as a dad could. But she's been on a trip with my ex and her family this week, and I've not sent my daughter one single message, because I don't see why I would do that. I love my daughter. She knows I love her. If she wants anything from me, she has her watch all the time. She can text me. She can ask her mom to call me. I've explicitly told them, if you want to talk to me, I am here, call me. If they call and I miss it, I'll text right back. But I'm not going to bother them while they're all hanging out together. I'm not going to infringe on their world. Even for my daughter and my mother, you reach out to me if you want attention. And with my guy friends, they usually reach out to me first also. It's important to know where you are in those terms, and to know thyself.
I'm so glad. I feel so comfortable. This made a huge difference. I hope there's a man out there who can say, that's me. You don't have to quit dating, but you might want to consider quitting hunting, quitting chasing, quitting showing any interest, quitting giving a woman any piece of your heart until she's shown clear interest in you, and then only giving that much back. That's emotionally safe. And for women, I hope there's some woman out there who's watched all this and been confused, who now realizes, oh, the kind of men that I'd really want to choose, they're waiting for me to make a move these days. They're not out there hunting.
I had this woman initiate a conversation with me at yoga this morning, and I matched her energy. She had some enthusiasm, so I had some enthusiasm. In the past, I would have tried to turn that into a phone number, but today I'm like, nope. If she wants my phone number, she can ask for it. She didn't seem to want it, so I said, nice meeting you, I'll see you later, and when I'd had enough of the conversation, I walked away. I didn't detect any great chemistry there, but I was glad she talked to me. I used to be starting conversations at yoga classes all the time. It's amazing how much more interested a woman is when she starts a conversation with me than when I start the conversation with her.
Where to Talk About This With Me
If you want the best experience, if you want to talk with me much more about these things, be in a community of other people who watch my videos, where you can have a call with me on weekly group calls. I'm here, and you can message me first also. When you're part of my community, I'll get right back to you as soon as I see your message. What a great story it would be if a woman saw this, joined, and we ended up getting married. That'd be so cool. I am certainly open to going to Brazil or a foreign country to find this too. For now, I'm going to stay in the US until I get my YouTube income really rocking at full income, and I'd like my kids to get older before I look outside the US, because that could be a good bit of travel, but I'm open to that someday.
If any of this resonated with you, there's a lot more where it came from in my Dating playlist. And I hope to see you inside my community.