This is my journal entry from November 18, 2025, part of my daily autobiography Divorce Day — my real, unedited days, published in order.
I’m off the hook for taking the kids to school today, which gave the morning a lighter feel right from the start. I’ve also been sleeping naked lately and just being naked around the house in general. I think I’ve mentioned that before. I’m recording this naked right now, actually. If that gets anyone fantasizing, great. Let’s go.
I walked down to say hi to the kids this morning, then came back home and got to work on getting all my events ready to post on Eventbrite. ChatGPT was down for a bit, so I used Gemini instead, which mostly just made me miss ChatGPT. It’s wild how attached I’ve become to these AI assistants. They work incredibly well and save so much time. Trying to create something like thirty-eight different events, spread across the week, with titles, times, and structure, would normally take an enormous amount of effort. With ChatGPT, that workload gets compressed dramatically.
At 11:00 a.m., I walked over to look at what might become my new home, a place close to where I’m living now. I met the real-estate agent, and we went inside. I was pleasantly surprised. Everything inside is basically new. They ripped out the bottom of the drywall, put in new floors, repainted everything, replaced the lower drywall, installed new appliances, and put in a new air-conditioning system. There are still a few things that need to be cleaned up or fixed, but overall the place is in great shape. It’s been sitting on Zillow for about two months without being rented, and it’s been more than a year since the previous tenants moved out, so I went in with low expectations. Instead, I walked into something that felt like real potential.
The house is about 1,700 square feet and feels huge. There’s a large living room and dining room area, plus another front living room that would be perfect for hosting events. I could easily set up a couch area in one space and use the other for yoga mats or a circle setup. One wing of the house has three bedrooms, which used to be the main sleeping area, including a master bathroom attached to one of the rooms. On the other end of the house, there’s an added, larger master bedroom, which would be perfect for me. I could have my room down there, bedrooms for the kids, an office, and even space for another woman to move in someday—maybe with a massage studio or her own dedicated room. The layout just works.
The location is almost absurdly perfect. It’s right near my family. Because of all that, I submitted an application on the spot. I listed my income as aspirational for this exact moment, but it’s not delusional. I genuinely believe I’ll be making that. I’m going all in on this Eventbrite idea. I’m asking people for feedback, refining things, and committing to it fully.
My ex-wife doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about the idea, which honestly just reinforces why I want to be divorced. I want to be with someone who gets excited about my ideas, who challenges me when necessary but also amplifies good momentum, who meets my enthusiasm and helps push it even further when something genuinely has legs. That contrast feels clearer and clearer to me as I keep moving forward.
After the house tour, I got some more work done and then walked over to Crunch Fitness for my personal training session with my personal trainer. He put me through a brutal arm workout using a few chest machines. The exercises themselves were simple and repetitive, but the way he ran the sets—longer reps, sustained tension—absolutely wrecked me. My arms were burning in that deep, satisfying way that tells you the work actually landed.
While we were training, I started thinking about what kind of information I could pull from him that might actually be useful beyond fitness. I asked if he had a girlfriend. He said no, but that he has a few girls he’s hooking up with. Naturally, I asked how he meets them. His answer was refreshingly straightforward. Just walking around—Riverwalk in Tampa, grocery stores, out in normal life. I asked what his strategy was, and he didn’t hesitate. He said he just tells them, “Hey, I think you’re really attractive.” That’s it. No gimmicks. No lines. Just direct and real. Hearing that, I thought, shit, alright. I can do that.
I was wearing my “sober single dad author” shirt that I’d just gotten in the mail from Etsy the day before, and I was feeling pretty proud of it walking over to Crunch. My personal trainer immediately told me I needed to scrap it. No shirts with text. He said they’re distracting and get girls thinking instead of feeling. The goal is to be clean, simple, and put together, not to give someone something to analyze before you even speak. He said text on a shirt can be off-putting before you ever open your mouth. That landed hard. I went from feeling proud of the shirt to wishing I’d just worn a plain one. He gave me some specific suggestions on what to order, and I immediately started mentally updating my wardrobe plan.
Then I got a chance to apply what he’d just told me. There’s a woman at the front desk at Crunch who’s very friendly and attractive. I’d noticed her before. While I was on the StairMaster, she walked behind me and waved. My first thought was, who the fuck is this woman giving me so much positive attention? Then it clicked—it was the front desk girl. Another girl who had originally signed me up months ago was also there. She gave me a pretty cold response when she saw me, which was fine. She’s eighteen anyway, and even if she weren’t, our lives are clearly on very different trajectories. She’s headed to the fire academy, and I’m not exactly trying to date a firefighter at this stage of my life.
Back to the woman on the StairMaster. I finished my fifteen minutes, and after about twenty-five minutes total of training with my personal trainer, my heart rate was up around 170, which is unusually high for me. I figured if I was going to test this new approach, now was the moment. I walked over to the StairMaster next to hers. She was listening to something, so she took out her headphones. I said, “Hey, I think you’re really attractive, and I figured now would be the right time to tell you while you’re not working.” She smiled and told me she appreciated both my timing and what I said. We talked for about five minutes. Then she politely dismissed me, saying she wanted to finish listening to what she had on and complete her workout. That was completely fine.
I walked away feeling genuinely satisfied. Not because anything “happened,” but because of how easy it was. You literally just go up and say it. That’s it. I immediately thought about the woman at Whole Foods the day before and wished I’d approached her the same way. I love how open I am to letting people share their experiences with me and how naturally I draw that information out. It feels like a real superpower. I almost always manage to pull exactly what I’m looking for directly out of the people around me, without forcing it.
My personal trainer joked that he should’ve been charging me for dating coaching. I told him that’s actually part of why I like working with different trainers—getting exposed to different perspectives, conversations, and ways of thinking. It all feeds into the bigger picture.
I walked home feeling genuinely satisfied and ready to keep riding that momentum. One of the first things I did was hop back onto ChatGPT to get feedback on my clothing. I uploaded some pictures of myself and asked what kind of fit would actually work best for my body. The recommendation came back pretty clear: a slim athletic fit, but not a tall fit. That tracked with what I’d been noticing myself. I also mentioned feedback I’d gotten at the AA meeting a couple of days earlier, where a woman told me I looked good with a slightly more open neckline. Based on all of that, ChatGPT suggested I go with plain, slim athletic V-necks in solid colors.
I jumped on Amazon and found exactly that—basic, clean shirts for about $18 each. I ordered four total, one large and three mediums, from two different brands, treating it like a test run. The goal is to slowly build out a wardrobe of simple, good-fitting, understated stuff that looks confident without screaming for attention. Just plain, sexy basics. The kind of thing that lets me walk around feeling solid and comfortable approaching women without overthinking it.
After placing the order, I walked down to see the kids and say hi once they got home from school. My ex-wife had been with them all day on a field trip, so I didn’t do drop-off or pickup. From there, I went to my AA meeting. We had a good turnout and a nice sense of connection, the kind that’s been consistent lately. After the meeting, I gave one of the regulars a ride home. It was only about ten minutes out of my way, but it felt good to do it. I’ve noticed myself settling back into some of the quieter, steady contributions—giving rides, showing up early, staying late. Starting this new meeting has naturally pulled me into a more engaged role, and in a smaller group, with more responsibility, it actually feels perfect for where I am right now. Maybe someday I’ll surrender some of that and drift back into a more half-assed AA rhythm, but for now this feels right.
While driving him home, I told him about my business idea. I’d already shared it with my personal trainer and my massage therapist, and the response has been consistently supportive. There’s a real sense of enthusiasm coming back from people. I also texted a woman a friend from AA introduced me to recently, and she responded positively to the idea as well. That consistency matters. It tells me I’m not just hyping myself up in a vacuum.
When I got back home, I called my sponsor and realized he had an event filming that night. It’s a local show, filmed at the Palladium in St. Pete, kind of like a Tonight Show–style setup. The host’s name is David Downing. I was grateful my evening was wide open, and even though I’d momentarily forgotten about it, I told my sponsor I’d come. No hesitation.
I changed into nicer shorts, put on my pink shirt, threw on my watch, and slipped into my boat shoes. A friend had said before that the outfit looked good, and I took that as another quiet data point. A friend of mine who’s very good at meeting women had once told me this is exactly the kind of outfit he’d wear. He’s struggled with relationships, but he knows how to initiate things, and right now I’m listening carefully to anyone who actually gets results at the front end.
I went to the show to support my friend. He’s part of the event every time, working security and then getting up to do a short comedy bit, which is always great to see. The whole thing is free, which still kind of amazes me. I didn’t spend any money at all, and they had food. I grabbed a couple of small plates of chips, one chocolate chip cookie, and two plates of fruit—pineapple, strawberries, grapes, watermelon. It was perfect. I stood there eating fruit, watching my friend perform, surrounded by people, not rushing anywhere, not stressed about money, and feeling very present in my life. It was one of those nights where nothing dramatic happened, and yet everything felt aligned.
I stayed for the entire first show, and it turned out I was sitting right next to a musician. I couldn’t be bothered to Google how famous he was, but then he got up, played guitar, and sang an original song—I think it was called “The Devil’s in the Details.” He mentioned that he tours with his two brothers, and there I was, sitting next to him the whole time. Moments like that still surprise me. It felt quietly special, the kind of thing you don’t plan for.
One of the guests that night was Robbie—the same Robbie who was on The Brady Bunch and who voiced Michelangelo in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from 1984 to 1986, according to Wikipedia. Of all the guests I’ve seen at these tapings, he was easily my favorite. I’d been at one of the last filmings before this, and Robbie brought real energy to the room. He was present, funny, alive. The show itself is fascinating to watch up close. They filmed three shows back to back, and if you’ve ever seen something like The Tonight Show, it’s basically identical—monologue, band, guests, the whole structure. Being that close to it all, watching how it actually runs, felt like getting a backstage look at something usually distant and polished.
At one point, the host, David, came up and shook my hand. He said, “Nice to meet you.” I told him, “Nice to meet you again. I was here last time.” I don’t blame him for not remembering me with all the people involved, but still, it felt good. The whole experience triggered this sense of curiosity in me. I hadn’t even realized I was going to be there that night, and suddenly I was sitting inches away from musicians and TV personalities. It made me wonder what other experiences are coming my way that I’m not even aware of yet.
An older friend didn’t get up until the first segment of the second show, around 8:10 p.m. I watched his routine—he does a bit every show, which I love—and then I headed out so I could make it back in time to say goodnight to the kids. I got there just in time, said goodnight, and then went over to hang out with my mom for about thirty minutes.
We ended up talking about openers and this whole idea of simply telling someone you find them attractive. My mom shared a story from when she used to go to the racetrack. A guy walked up to her and asked if she was married. At the time, she was married to her first husband, so she said yes. The guy replied, “Would you like to fool around?” She said no. Then he followed it up with, “Well, would your husband mind if I did?” Hearing that, I was stunned. I’ve been feeling awkward just giving women sincere compliments, and here’s this guy casually going straight for it in three sentences. I told my mom I could maybe get halfway there. I can walk up to someone and say, “Hey, you’re beautiful,” or acknowledge it honestly without feeling like I’d hate myself for staying silent. But that level of boldness still feels like another universe.
My personal trainer had warned me not to do anything cheesy or crude, not to say dumb shit like “damn, girl,” or anything overly sexual. He laughed and asked where I even learned that kind of talk. I told him it came from years as a police officer and correctional officer, where that kind of language was just constant background noise. I used to walk up to women with all kinds of nonsense lines, things like, “Hey, I haven’t seen you here before,” without even knowing why I was saying it. Talking about all of this, hearing my mom’s story, and reflecting on how different approaches land, it felt like another layer clicking into place. I don’t need to be someone else. I just need to be direct, present, and honest, and let the rest sort itself out.
I found myself reminiscing about college, about how I used to walk around trying to pick up every girl everywhere I went. What surprised me most is how quickly that switch can turn back on. It’s not gone. It was just dormant. Seeing how fast that confidence and curiosity return feels encouraging, like a part of me waking back up instead of something new I have to build from scratch.
I also started listening to audiobooks at three-and-a-half speed today. Mostly books packed with practical or informational content. At that pace, it’s less about savoring every word and more about loading the material straight into my system. I don’t want to sit there for twelve hours carefully absorbing something like a novel. I want the ideas in my head, fast. I was listening to The Biology of Belief, which is a great book, but I wasn’t in an indulgent mood. This was pure learning mode. Just pour it in and let my subconscious deal with it. I did the same with another holistic health book, both at three-and-a-half speed, and it felt oddly efficient, like compressing time.
When I got home tonight, I realized I hadn’t masturbated the day before simply because I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t force it. Tonight, though, I did. Nothing dramatic about that. Afterward, instead of grabbing paper towels or socks like I’ve done plenty of times before, I just hopped straight into the shower. The double showerhead setup has been great. Shaved, took care of everything, showered, and moved on. It felt clean and simple.
After that, I sat down and dictated more of this audiobook. I also finished and submitted my dating book, It’s Not You. It’s the Dating Apps, to Amazon for Kindle today, and it was approved. That felt big. I’ll get the audiobook version uploaded soon as well. Seeing projects actually cross the finish line is incredibly satisfying. Sitting here now, I feel grateful. I feel energized. I feel excited about life in a way that feels real and sustainable, not manic or forced. There’s momentum here, and I want to keep it going.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.