This is my journal entry from March 11, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
The kids arrive at 745 for their battle of the books club at school. And I head off to play tennis with a tennis partner. She came up on the local tennis center messaging application. The team reach there. She was going to play with another guy on there, but he was unable to make it. So I said I'd switch our time from Friday till Wednesday. And thus, I meet up with her this morning at 8 a.m. at Crescent Lake. She's got really clean tennis strokes. I'm thinking how I've been manifesting this for sure, that I've wanted to play tennis and like meet a girl in the context of playing tennis for years. And now here it is. Like, this is really cool. We hit for an hour and play like eight games with her winning four and me winning four. We have a nice, you know, basic conversation going at some of the surface details. She suggests that we exchange numbers and she says before we're done playing that she'd love to hit some more. I'm like, finally, a woman actually wants to hang out with me some more. It's really nice. So we exchanged numbers and I head home.
But on the way, I'm walking back to my car. I think I should give out some more envelopes right now. This is the perfect time, even though I've got a lot of sun yesterday playing tennis with a friend. I go straight for it and give out like 40 or 50 more envelopes to my neighbors near me. Then I head back home, take a cold shower, and go to my massage with my massage therapist. My massage therapist and I have a nice talk as usual, covering, you know, the depth of what's going on in our lives and how we feel about it. I tell her that, you know, I'm a bit scared with, you know, my money especially. Like, if it doesn't work out, you know, I'm getting a bit dramatic. I'm like, I'm really scared about a life of poverty, and I'm going to try as hard as I can with my business. It seems like this is the place I've been guided to. But there's a part of me that's like fatalistic where it's like, you know, this could go very poorly if you borrow all the money you can and your business still won't work. Like, you know, it's probably ridiculous, but I'm grateful I can talk to my massage therapist. So clearly about, you know, my my dark feelings like this. And she understands. I meet another massage therapist that's teaming up to do a couple's massage in the lobby. We have a nice conversation. And then I head home to eat and get ready for the kids to arrive.
The kids get here and they, I'm in a pretty bad mood by the time they get here. I messaged my tennis partner. My date got moved back. The one that I'm supposed to have Saturday is moved back another week. I was excited thinking, nice, you know, in a few days I could look forward to meeting this girl that's highly compatible. But I got a message when I was out delivering my letters from my matchmaker saying the girl would like to move it back a week. Like, well, that's definitely a strike against her that, you know, you schedule something one day and then need to move it back a week the next day. Like, that's not something I usually do. You know, I feel like I'm not a priority to somebody I haven't even met, which is accurate. But then again, if you're 38 looking for a husband, you'd think you'd make that a priority. But I guess we're going to wait another week. By the time my ex-wife arrives, I'm in a bit of a funk, pissed off that my match is going to take another week to deliver, figuring I probably won't get another match in that time either. And then there'll be even more time afterwards. Thinking, man, I'm so frustrated with dating. I should just do dating sites, but I want professional pictures. If I'm going to do dating sites again, I spent all this money on this matchmaking service. Fortunately, I'm kind of stuck with the matchmaking service, and I decide that I'm going to ride the matchmaking service out. We're going to do all 12 dates if needed before I consider doing anything else at all with dating, because it'd be insane to be trying to online date when I paid $7,500 and now I'm paying interest every month to keep that balance on a credit card instead of blowing through my cash. Like, fuck, this is going great, isn't it?
I plow through the rest of the book I'm editing, and I'm choosing the title Divorce Day since that's the day the book ends and it's kind of all leading up to that. I don't like to censor my writing normally, but I went nuts in the last three days of this book. I was listening to a bunch of stand-up comedy at the time. And the swearing is just crazy. It's just constant swearing. And the censorship results in thousands of words being removed. Because I just go off on movie quotes. I'm trying to be funny. And there's whole sentences that are half profanity. And I'm saying everything you can think of and talking all kinds of shit. And for once, I tell ChatGPT, just censor all that shit. You know, take all the movie quotes out, take all the profanity and profanity-related stuff out, and ChatGPT mows down the humanity of the last three days of the book, which feels a bit anticlimactic. But it's also a good reminder, like, look, if this is going to be around 50 or 100 years from now, maybe I don't want to tell the craziest jokes I can think of and have, you know, sections that are just, like, laced with profanity. Maybe that makes it, you know, sure, I can say fuck here and there or do a joke here and there. But it gets a bit over the top going that nuts.
As the kids come over, I'm feeling down. My ex-wife comes in and I'm telling the story that, you know, I always have to initiate hugs with her. She doesn't care about me anymore. I had a strange dream that left me feeling rejected and inadequate, and I tell my ex-wife about it and she has a laugh. And she tells me about some of her recent experiences. But I don't go for a hug for her. And she doesn't go for a hug for me. She does give me a high five at one point. I get really down. Don't even get up on the couch when she leaves. Then my son, I don't know if he's just seeking attention or feeling the energy, but he sprains his ankle jumping off onto his car. Just a light sprain. But my ex-wife ends up getting out of the car right when she's going to leave and comforting him when he's crying. And I end up feeling pretty crappy when I put together, you know, the girl I talked to on Monday. Which I'm finally in a pretty good space about her not constantly roasting and hating on her today, but mostly being thankful for what an interesting conversation and valuable learning opportunity that was. And guidance on what I don't want to do going forward, like go back to that recovery meeting for a while.
My ex-wife heads out and the kids go to play with their friends right away. I continue finishing up the book, cleaning. I cook kale chips and Brussels sprouts for the kids, which means I'm using the oven for about an hour straight. I call my ex-wife to straighten things out and set a DMV appointment with her because I still need to sign over the car to my ex-wife. So I call her to confirm the DMV appointment will work. I tell her, you know, sorry, I was hoping you'd give me a hug, but feeling really rejected and annoyed by women lately, despite, you know, feeling very validated by my tennis partner this morning. And, you know, all the other validation that's come along, still feeling really down about dating and sad that my ex-wife, you know, didn't seem to care enough to initiate a hug with me. And she she says that she will in the future. She appreciates me clarifying and I let her go.
Then my mother comes over. She makes a big fuss over my son's ankle and starts putting ice packs on it. I'm like, this is a minor ankle sprain, like it's barely swollen. It doesn't hurt that much. But my mother's all into some health care, and her mindset of fighting the body is what prevails. And like the ankle sprained, in my experience it makes sense for it to swell up and try and fix what happened there. I've come to believe it's a bit crazy to try and fight the body all the time and assume it doesn't know what it's doing and that you know better. Like, that's how I see it. My mother plays more Exploding Kittens with the kids. We all shower, and the kids get their homework done, and we're in bed at 9 56 this evening. I feel a little bit better by the time I go to the bed with the kids having the talk with my ex-wife and I am able to actually feel a little more warmth with my mother tonight which is nice and I'm grateful that the day wrapped up smoothly.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.